Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Received the following today,
Maybe you could trade Eva in for a buffalo calf. Ger.
Love and God Bless.
This afternoon I had answered most of my mail from the day
so I was deleting the few spam mails and other things I never
read. That finished I glanced at the number of emails in my
inbox and it was under 1300. I checked my deleted folder
and found 500 mails from last winter sitting there. Eva had stuck
again and had deleted them without opening them
probably while I was watching this news. I have always let
Eva play with the computers because I feel that she can't
break anything that can't be fixed and I don't want her to grow up
with a fear of electronics that will put her at a disadvantage
amongst other children but she has put my skills to a test lately.
She is performing operations like highlighting things opening a drop
down box and clicking on just the right
line to do the most damage. Not impossible but highly improbable.
Eva has also become an avid channel surfer and there is no remote
control on my tv that is by my bed. There are three
cartoon channels during the day and the minute an ad comes
on she will push the button through all 80 channels till she finds a
channel worth watching. At the same time she also turns my lights on
and cranks the sound up and pulls at my pillows till I let her have
one. By that time I am too wide awake to do anything except watch tv
with her and I love every of it. Eva makes life interesting and
worthwhile. If she hadn't been born I would probably spend 20 hours a
day watching tv or sleeping. I think that is worth a lot of deleted
emails or misplaced icons. Enjoy the chips... Eva helped.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get 25% OFF your next order of designer inspired shades.
Similar styles such as Dolce & Gabbana retail for $450.
But why spend a fortune when Inspired Shades has the same hot look
for under $20?
That's right, for a limited time, you have the chance to get any
pair of designer inspired shades for $14.95, a savings of 25% off our
regular price! Don't wait, this is a limited time offer so shop now.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Milk and Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease
and his doctor told him could drink only human milk.
"How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor.
"Well, Ruby Finkelstein'
So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby
was a dark eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself,
gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts. One
day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr.
Rugelbaum, do you like it?"
"Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed.
"Is there," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there
anything else you'd like?"
"As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel
"What?" Ruby asked breathlessly.
Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a little cookie?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Massage Chairs
http://buffalosjoke
Laptop Dancing
http://buffalosjoke
Legit?
http://buffalosjoke
Wear A Bra!
http://buffalosjoke
Impotence
http://buffalosjoke
Stop Applauding
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smoking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Marlboro Ads
Warning: cigarettes give you a raspy voice that makes
you sound as cool as you look."
[Cough] [hack hack] [cough] [thpt] Smooooth."
1"Don't worry; you have an extra lung."
"All of a sudden, your wife nagging you about smoking
isn't nearly as annoying, is it?"
"...That was the sound of a 65-year-old smoker hocking
up a lung oyster at three in the morning."
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a carrot stick?"
"Betcha can't smoke just one."
"I have less tar and nicotine than the leading brands,
you big pansy."
"Buy another pack. Tobacco settlements don't
pay themselves, you know."
"The Marlboro Man has determined that the Surgeon
General is a pussy."
"Each cigarette shortens your life by three minutes,
so smoke faster."
"You have smoked... THREE... packs today. At this rate
you will develop emphysema in... FIVE... years."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you having a hard time falling asleep at night? You're not alone.
Stop tossing and turning all night.
Are you not getting enough sleep? Would you like to fall asleep as
soon as your head hits the pillow?
Look better, Feel Better, wake up with more energy.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clinton Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back when President Clinton was still in office and you tried to call
the White House on the phone during the day, this is what you often
heard:
You have reached the White House voice mail system. No one is
available to take your call at this time because the entire
administration is out to lunch. Please follow these instructions
carefully to leave your message. When you are finished, don't hang up
until the FBI finishes tracing the call. Have a nice day now!
If you are male and would like to leave a message for
the President,
press 9.
If your are female and would like to leave a message for the
president, press M-O-T-E-L-6.
If you are male and would like to leave a message for Chelsea, press
N-O-W-A-Y.
To leave a message for Buddy,
press D-O-G.
To leave a message for Socks,
press D-O-G-F-O-O-
To leave a message for Roger Clinton,
press A-A.
To leave a message for Ted Kennedy,
Press 7-A-N-D-7.
If you are calling to arrange a night in the Lincoln bedroom, press
D-
O-L-L-A-R.
If you are calling to arrange a White House coffee,
press Y-E-N.
If you are calling to support Hillary's birth control program, press
F-R-I-G-I-D.
If you are calling leave a message for Janet Reno,
press W-A-C-O.
To leave a message for a member of Congress,
press B-I-G-D-O-N-
To leave a message for the Gore 2000 campaign,
press H-O-P-E-L-E-
If you wish to make a complaint,
press B-I-T-E-M-E.
To speak to an operator,
press O.
To speak to a slick operator, stay on the line and the President will
answer your call shortly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Perfume or Cologne?
Revolutionary new club you have to see to believe.
Claim your free perfume now! Enter your details in the form below and
we'll rush your two authentic FREE mini perfumes to your door for
just shipping and processing of $9.95. That's a retail value of
$40.00!
Try before you buy!
http://buffaloschip
Only genuine designer scents - no knock-offs, testers or samples
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cider Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A youth walks into the kitchen where his mom is fixing dinner. "Mom,
I got a splinter in my finger. Can I have a glass of cider?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to pull it out?"
"No thanks, just the cider."
So she gives him the cider and watches him trot contentedly off.
About fifteen minutes later the boy returns to the kitchen and again
asks his mother for a glass of cider. His mother, not wanting to
question his reasoning, gives him another glass and again watches him
leave happy.
Ten minutes later the boy returns once again and asks for a glass of
cider. The mother complies with her son's wishes again, but her
curiosity has been piqued to the point where she can't resist knowing
why any longer. So she wanders into the family room and sees her son
sitting in front of the TV with his finger in the glass.
"Why on earth do you have your finger in that glass?" she asks.
"Well, Mom, I heard Sis on the phone say that whenever she has a
prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you ready to whiten your smile 5 shades in just days?
For your Free 15 day trial/terms apply/only pay shipping
Get your Free 15 day Trial of Advanced Bright Tooth Whitening!
- Easy to use at home kit
- 22% Dentist Strength Whitening Gel
- Dentist recommended and approved
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Says a teenage girl to her doctor, "You prescribed me birth control
pills."
"And how is it going?"
"I think it's ok, but I'd like to have them bigger."
The doctor was surprised, "You mean stronger?"
"No. Bigger, please."
"But why BIGGER?"
"Because they keep falling out."
~~~~~
Mary: Don't you just hate when you want ONE cookie, but you have to
buy whole bag to get one?
Jill: Right! Or maybe you want ONE doughnut, but you have to buy the
whole box of a dozen!
Mary: And the hotel charges for the whole night when you're going to
use it for only a couple of hours!
~~~
During Clinton's interview with the grand jury, the prosecutor held
up a picture of Monica and asked the president if he had ever seen
this woman.
Bill Clinton replied, "I think I've come across her
face a couple of times"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Powerful Magnets
2008 Green Product of the Year! Cleans your clothes for free. Make
your detergent bills disappear. Wash clothes chemical free. By
Washing Without Toxic Chemicals, You'll Save $300 or More This Year,
Save Your Skin Health, and our Oceans... It's easy, get your system
today.
Try it now:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shoe Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giorgio is in this country for about 6 months. He walks to work every
day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the
window and admires a certain pair of Bocceli leather shoes. He wants
those shoes so much it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the $300.00 the shoes cost and
purchases them. Every Friday night the Italian community gets
together at a dance in the church basement, so Giorgio seizes the
opportunity to wear his new Bocceli leather shoes to the dance.
He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do
you wear red panties tonight?"
Sophia, startled, says, "Yes, Giorgio, I do wear red panties tonight,
but how do you know?"
Giorgio replies, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli
leather shoes. How do you like them?"
Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he says to
her, "Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?"
Rosa answers, "Yes, Giorgio, I do, but how do you know that?"
He answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli leather
shoes. How do you like them?"
Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played,
Giorgio asks Carmella to dance. Midway through the dance his face
turns red. He says, "Carmella, stilla my heart, please, please tell
me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!"
Carmella smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Giorgio, I wear no panties
tonight."
Giorgio gasps and says ...."Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK in
my $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ShamWow is a revolutionary, multi-use cleaning cloth that holds
over 20 times its' weight in liquids. It's like a towel, chamois
and a sponge all in one!
Learn more.
The ShamWow:
- Cleans up spills fast
- Will not scratch or damage any surfaces
- Machine washable
- Perfect for house, boat, car and pets
- Guaranteed to last for 10 years
Act now and we'll double your order. You'll get 8 ShamWow towels for
only $19.95+s/h!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Secret Place
http://www.silveran
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE http://www.wtv-
zone.com/Mary/
John w/ I Fall To Pieces http://heavens-
gates.com/_patsy/
Judy w/ What Do You want My Child
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC or
laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Clean Water For Ethiopia
http://www.charityw
Tales Of The F-14 http://www.airspace
tales.html?c=
age=1
What to do if Biological Warfare:
http://www.sightm19
People Bucket Game
http://www.pplbucke
Pop-Up Pancakes
http://www.makeandt
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or
crashing and freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to
major system problems and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few
minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention that your computer's registry does contain file "errors",
then it may be in your computer's best interest to fix the
potentially harmful file errors in your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-Tv)
Trojan Remover http://www.download
10038982.html.
Who Links To Me
http://www.wholinks
Diversi-Tune
http://www.divtune.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell
wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I've to
decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training System so I
can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right
way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.tailwagg
Kitty Korner
http://www.cathouse
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in Just Five
Minutes:
Our software will increase your computer SPEED up to 400%, as well as
increasing your Internet SPEED!
Completely AUTOMATIC, EASY TO INSTALL, Even easier to use, and No
Computer Knowledge Needed!
Learn for yourself why we're recommended by ZDNet, PC Magazine, CNet,
and Millions of Users!
Press here to download:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to
win a seat and play in our upcoming World Series of Poker*.
There is no cost involved for you to play: You DO NOT need to deposit
any money or give a credit card number to play...BUT YOU CAN WIN
CASH!
Don't miss this chance!
Press here to Start Playing Today!
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Swan Song
http://www.buffalos
Talent
http://www.buffalos
Talking Italian
http://www.buffalos
Tattoo Remover
http://www.buffalos
Rocking Horse Ride
http://www.buffalos
Rudolph Was A Swinger
http://www.buffalos
Rush Hour In a Japanese
http://www.buffalos
SC Cool Mint
http://www.buffalos
Scottish Stun Gun
http://www.buffalos
Shadow Dance
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celebrity Quotes
"I didn't even know my bra size until I made a movie." -Angelina
Jolie
"I would rather have a cup of tea than sex." -Boy George
"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all." -Mike Tyson
"I pick my nose and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If there's a bogey
then just pick it, man." -Justin Timberlake
"Wal-mart...
"I've been noticing gravity since I was very young." -Cameron Diaz
"I'm like a monk with a taste for hookers." -Moby
"I think the longer I look good, the better gay men feel." -Cher
"I would like to see the Pope wearing my T-shirt." -Madonna
"I'm thinking about naming my first son Emmy so I can say I've got
one." -Noah Wyle
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'LL GIVE YOU $100 IN FREE GAS
Just for letting me show you HOW TO CUT YOUR GAS COSTS BY 20%
I will reveal the money-saving secrets the oil companies don't want
you to know and let you in on the fuel additive I discovered that can
Save $10 every time you fill your tank!
It's all at my web site
http://buffaloschip
See you at the site,
Brandon Zundel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Fun
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Love Hurts
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Happy Hooker
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
pick me
http://www.thepostm
back up
http://www.thepostm
the borders
http://www.thepostm
Splits
http://buffalosjoke
Oops
http://buffalosjoke
Bunny's
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
BACK TO SCHOOL 2008 - GEAR UP TODAY WITH TIGERDIRECT!
Save More at TigerDirect.
survive a new year at school. Why pay more?...
:
<a href=" http://buffaloschip
TigerDirect.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young girl called Bianca
Who slept while her ship lay at anchor.
She awoke with dismay,
When she heard the mate say,
"Hi! Hoist up the top sheet and spanker!"
There was a young lady called Valerie
Who started to count every calorie.
Said her boss in disgust,
"If you lose half your bust,
Then you're worth only half of your salary."
An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
They were simpler to grow than to chase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Your Sample of Purell(r) Hand Sanitizer with Aloe!
http://buffaloschip
Post, Save, and print your pictures online:
http://buffaloschip
Home Depot - Free workshop and 10$ off coupon:
http://buffaloschip
The Energy drink supported and used by the tireless Lance Armstrong:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Douglas was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked
by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway
toward you, what would you do?"
Douglas replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!"
The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?"
Douglas replied, "The same place you got that fucking train!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is BIG: You can save up to 60% on gas each year
by using a simple home made hydrogen generator and
... tap water!!
"Is it possible?", I get asked a lot...
"Hell Yeah", is the answer.
But then why do so few people know about this?
I mean, think about it... If you owned a trillion dollar Fortune 500
oil company, would you want people to think it's possible?
Of course not. You'd probably pump billions in advertising
and media so people would dismiss this possibility right
from the start and even laugh at it.
They are using mind control techniques to brain wash you!
But, it IS possible and the proof is there.
I saved $1,256 last year. Want to see how?
Go to
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Empty your PC Recycle Bin.
2. Create a new folder on your Desktop.
2. Name the folder 'Barack Obama'.
3. Drag the folder to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack
Obama?' 6. Firmly Click 'Yes.' 7. Feel better?
GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!
Leslie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Terminix - Ultimate Protection(TM)
Get a Free Evaluation & and Save 10% on service!
Get started now with the most trusted name in pest control.
- Defend your Home Against Pests and Termites
- GUARANTEED satisfaction or your money back*
- PROFESSIONAL technicians using leading treatment technologies
- FAST response and service to fit your busy schedule
Start Today
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1404
Rudy, the Protector
Diana: I am off to walk...see you later.
BJ: Okay, be careful, it is foggy outside.
Rudy: I am in charge pops. She will be fine.
Sandi: I always walk beside her.
BJ: How about you Katie?
Katie: Err, ah, I scout ahead.
Diana: Far ahead..
The five leave and BJ gets ready for work...
By the lake it is really foggy and from the fog, Rudy
emerges and stops in front of Diana making her stop.
Diana: What did you do that for?
Just then another walker emerges from the fog...
Diana: Oh, thanks Rudy. I guess you were watching out
for me.
Later...Rudy again comes from the fog and makes Diana
stop.. This tims she waits and sure enough another walker
comes from the fog this time with a dog. Rudy and Sandi are
on either side of Diana in a protective mode.
They continue on.... and the third time..Rudy really makes Diana
stop... a car comes from the fog... This time Diana pets Rudy on the
head.
Diana: I am really proud of you Rudy. You are watching over me and
protecting me. Sandi, you are walking with me, keeping me company
and protecting me as well. You both deserve a treat when we get home.
Rudy: I don't do it for the treat Toots. I do it because it is my
job and because it is my charge.
Sandi: You are my Daddy's wife, we have to watch you.
Sandi what is that water in your eye, mommy?
The herd in Guthrie
(This is what they do...they walk with Diana without a leash and
protect her)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment