Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Our server tried moving the website twice over the weekend and
both times it was a flop. Buffalosjokes had grown over the years
to almost 5 gig of material and as they tried to transfer that much
the back-ups corrupted and couldn't be installed on the new server.
Finally in desperation I went in and deleted every movie on the site
and with under 1.5 gigs of data, mostly toons they moved it this
morning and I switched off the old site around 4 this afternoon. I
have thousands of video clips, many of which you may never have
seen and Nancy is putting those up on Buffaloschips.
This made me think about Star Trek and the transporter. Here we are
at this point where we can't send 6 gig of data from one point to
another
without losing or corrupting the data stream. They have been doing
work
on how to transport simple molecules across a room. It takes a
tremendous amount of energy and computer capacity to break a
molecule apart, send it through space and then reassemble it on the
other side of the room. We don't have enough energy or a computer
large enough to do a fly if we used every computer in the world
and every power plant and if you get just one one or zero in the
wrong
place and the fly has a leg where his eye should be. Won't be no
" Beam me up Scotty " in this century heh heh .
Our gas just finally dropped from 4.18 to 4.05 and all around us gas
is
under 4.00, just not fair.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Safety Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This construction worker had climbed 20 stories to the job site.
Once there he'd asked the foreman if he could go back down to take a
leak.
Not wanting to lose the time, the foreman balanced on I- beam across
another, stood on one end, and told the worker to walk out to the
other end to pee.
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"Well, what made me look up was this guy coming down, dick in his
hand, screaming, 'where did that cocksucker go???'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pussy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as
part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking
some questions.
"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband
sweetly.
Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby
and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he
sighed,"Every time."
Q. Why are coffins for blondes shaped like a triangle?
A. Because every time their heads hit a pillow, their legs spread
open.
When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old, Billy, was utterly amazed,
and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his
mommy's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she
sked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby
kick.
When he did, however, the baby was suddenly still.
"Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap," shrugged Mary.
"A nap?" Billy marveled. "You mean there's a bed in there too?"
A young lady, visiting the London zoo, asked the keeper where the
monkeys were.
Keeper: "They're in the back, having sex."
Young lady: "Would they come out for some peanuts?"
Keeper: "I don't know. Would you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Confession Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he
decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he
arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to
the pastor.
"Father, I am sinful."
"Yes, son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive
you."
"Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been
3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I
visited her house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were
alone and I slept with her."
"That's bad my boy, fortunately you realize your mistake."
"Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody
was around except for one of her colleagues, so I slept with her
too."
"That's not very good of you."
"Father, last month, I went to her uncle's house to look for her,
nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too."
"Father?....
Suddenly this guy realized that there was no response from the
Father, he walked over and discovered that the Pastor was not there.
So he began searching for him.
"Father? Where are you?"
He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the
table behind the piano.
"Father, why are you hiding here?"
"Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except
me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Virgin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Very First Time
Mildred and Chester knew each other from childhood but were in their
seventies when they got married.
They had to wait for Mildred's mother to pass away first.
Back in those days there was no hanky panky before marriage so
Chester
and Mildred were both still virgins.
Needless to say Chester was pretty excited on their wedding
night,having
waited so patiently all these years.
However, Mildred was very apprehensive as she had developed a heart
condition and would have to tell Chester that they could not do it.
Chester is now sitting on the bed wanting Mildred to hurry up.
He detects a little reluctance on her part.
Thinking that she is shy he sends her off to the bathroom to get
undressed.
When she reappears in her silk satin nightie, he gets her to sit
next
to
him on the bed.
Not knowing how to get things started he pulls the first strap on
her
nightie.
She blushes just as red as her silk satin nightie.
She is really concerned about telling Chester about her heart
condition.
In the meantime Chester is looking at the first breast he has seen
since
his own mother's.
It is hanging there down to her belly button: gravity having taken
it's
course over some sixty years.
He realizes her anxiety but figures she is going have to be helped a
little more.
Now he pulls the second strap and sees the second breast unroll
downward
before him.
Poor Mildred is now beside herself.
She is going to have to tell Chester about her heart.
With a quivering voice and mustering up all her courage, she says,
"Chester I have acute angina."
Chester says, "I sure hope so. Cuz you've shore got ugly boobs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
MORE BEAUTIFUL
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Movies
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stump Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two executives were deep in a Highland forest, on an
adventure weekend arranged by their firm. Neither had
any real map-reading skills and they became separated
from the other members of their team. All they knew
was that the final rendezvous point was a remote pub
called, 'The Wee Stump Inn.'
They trudged through the woods for hours, hopelessly
lost until they came to what looked like a fork in
the forestry trail. They couldn't agree on which path
to take. Eventually, they decided to take one path
each. They shook hands and resolved that the last man
back to the pub would pay for the drinks.
Four hours later, the man that chose the correct fork
was sitting at the pub fireside, enjoying his pint,
when his friend staggered in. He was cut, bleeding,
battered and bruised as if he had been mugged by a
rugby team.
Once the men in the pub got the man settled, he
explained, "I must have gone around in circles for
hours, until I heard the sound of an idling car
engine. I headed toward the sound and found a car
in a clearing at the end of what looked like a
'lovers lane'. The car was all steamed up and I
couldn't see who was inside, but I could hear more
than one voice. So, I thought that I could ask for
directions and I knocked on the driver's window. Now,
the man in the car must have been a complete
psychopath, because as soon as I asked him,
'How far is the Wee Stump Inn?' he jumped out of the
car and beat the shit out of me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perfume
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Clintons Portrait
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David Gay
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Herman
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don't know
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I don't get it
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man of Adair
Who thought he would diddle a mare.
He climbed up a ladder
And jolly well had her,
With his backside a-wave in the air.
~~~
There was a young fellow named Charteris
Put his hand where his young lady's garter is.
She said, "I don't mind,
And up higher you'll find
The place where my fucker and farter is."
~~~
There was a young man of Datchet
Who cut off his prick with a hatchet.
Then very politely
He sent it to Whitely,
And ordered a cunt that would match it.
~~~~
When she wanted a new way to futter
He greased her behind with butter;
Then, with a sock,
In went his jock,
And they carried her home on a shutter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so
she took him aside after class one day.
"Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," replied Little Johnny.
Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently, "don't you see how
silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday ... but I
don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly,
"I'll use a rubber!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill goes to the doctor. After examining her thoroughly, the doctor
is perplexed.
"I'm not sure what it is," he said. "You either have a bad
cold or you're pregnant."
"Oh," says Jill, "I must be pregnant --I don't know anyone
who could have given me a cold."
~~~~~
In a recent television show in the UK, actor and comedian John
Cleese explained three reasons why the British are superior to
Americans:
1. They speak English.
2. When they host a world championship they invite other countries.
3. Visitors to the head of state are only expected to go down on ONE
knee.
~~~~~
Scott was lamenting to the bartender that he met his wife in a
brothel. "You shouldn't be so unhappy about it," the barkeep said,
"It's actually really romantic." "Oh, yeah?" responded Scott. "Well,
I thought she was home taking care of the kids and she thought I was
bowling. And to clinch it all, the madame wouldn't give me my money
back and refused to give me another girl."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1381
Home Again
Sandi: Here comes mommy and daddy...they are back from their trip.
BJ: Hi guys....how'
Rudy: Oh, okay, nothing much happened, we just went to the
hospital.
Katie: Rudy fainted a lot.
Sandi: Jessica had a baby.
Rudy: Sandi helped deliver it.
Katie: We went to the wrong hospital and she had it at a animal
hospital
instead.
Rudy: It's a boy.
Katie: It peed in Rudy's mouth.
Sandi: We gave him presents.
BJ: Whoa, slow down...wait a minute.
Rudy/Sandi/Katie: What?
BJ: This is all a bit much...so Jess had a baby?
Rudy: Yes.
BJ: Sandi helped deliver it?
Sandi: Yes.
BJ: And all is well?
Katie: Yes.
Thud!
Sandi: Diana!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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