Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Getting more and more lonely here every day. Not as far as people
to read the jokes but other publishers that I can steal fresh jokes
from.
Aikens Laughs which had for many years provided us with toons is
gone. He quit about a month ago and his site is now offline. Curly
David must have quit publishing two months ago, and Steve Langille
who did the Strange Breed cartoons stop publishing last month.
Those of you that are worried about Martin the Postman's absence,
he is in the hospital with pneumonia and has been pretty sick. WE
let colds get a hold on us in summer expecting that we can only get
really sick during winter and the next thing you know it's intensive
care.
Sandy spent the afternoon over at Buffy's house helping her clean. I
figured to have a little R&R and a nap and played three pool
tournaments
in Yahoo and settled down for a nap and the phone rang. It was Buffy
telling me I was expected to cook supper. When I cook most people
don't ask what I am cooking ? Sandy learned before we were even
married that I was creative when I cooked and even though it usually
was tasty the ingredients didn't always sound good together.
Today I looked in the freezer and grabbed a large pack of hamburger
and prepared a kettle of tasty but mellow chili. I split the batch
in half for another meal and poured half of it in a casserole pan. I
then added a
pound of hot dogs chopped in half, a can of corn, a layer of blended
Mexican Cheeses and a box of Jiffy cornbread mix on top. I let it
cook
for an hour till the crust was hard and then called the ladies and
had them come home. They asked for a name and I told them it was
chili cheese
corn dogs and they both finished a plate without complaints.
Above all I only dirtied three pans and destroyed the can opener and
even cleaned up the tomato sauce that flew everywhere when the
drive wheel came off of the can opener when I tried to force it
through the bent can. Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After That
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2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"
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Revival Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the first night he pulled his revival meeting tent into the
Southern
town, Preacher Bob had a full house. After a long, rousing and
sweaty
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some
of you have been he'in and she'in without the benefit of the
sacrament
of marriage. Those of you guilty of this grievous sin are not
welcome
back in this tent until you have gotten right with Jesus."
The next night the revival tent is only half full.
After going through the same long, rousing and sweaty revival
meeting,
Preacher Bob says to the crowd, "Now I know that some of you have
been
he'in and he'in without the benefit of the sacrament of marriage.
Those
of you guilty of this grievous sin are not welcome back in this tent
until you have gotten right with Jesus."
The next night the revival tent in only one quarter full.
After going through the long, rousing and sweaty revival meeting the
third night, Preacher Bob says to the crowd, "Now I know that some
of
you have been she'in and she'in without the benefit of the sacrament
of
marriage. Those of you guilty of this grievous sin are not welcome
back
in this tent until you have gotten right with Jesus."
The next night there is only one man left in the audience. It was
ol'
Klem, a middle aged virgin due to his lack of sex appeal, even by
hillbilly standards.
Preacher Bob says, "Now brother, you should feel proud that you are
still able to come to this tent tonight. I want you to testify!
Testify how it is that you are able to join me tonight in this holy
tent!"
Klem responds, "Shit preacher, you didn't say nothin' bout me-in and
me-in!"
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Penis Chips
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Jordan, my 3-year-old son, has expressed an insatiable curiosity
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A few weeks ago, our family chose to sit in the front
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Mom (whispering, attempting to distract): "That's
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Jordan (louder): "But Mom, I can't get my penis to go
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Jordan (upset now): "Mom, look at my penis!"
Justine (my 9-year-old daughter, whispering
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distinct break in the priest's homily as he pondered
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My face was three shades of red as I led Jordan out
down the long aisle and listened to him continually
repeat the same inquiry: "Mom, why won't it go down?"
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"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a
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Top 10 Reasons For Getting Out of Sex
10. I'd love to honey, but I just banged your sister.
9. We're out of paper bags for your head again.
8. You haven't shaved in so long I'm afraid I'd
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7. You're 20 bucks short.
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5. I used my last sponge for the dishes.
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3. I can't tonight honey, I spent myself earlier
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2. Only if you put on this wig and act like a Chinese
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1. Your gynecologist just called. You still have crabs,
And you know I don't like seafood.
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A soldier's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Tim Harrison.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed
She just wanted to make a comparison.
There was a young fellow named Pell
Who didn't like cunt very well.
He would finger and fuck one,
But never would suck one---
He just couldn't get used to the smell.
There was a young girl from Seattle
Who got her kicks sucking off cattle,
'til a bull from the South
Popped a load in her mouth
That made both her ovaries rattle.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day suddenly the husband has an heart attack.
He says before dying, "When I die, dear, cut off my penis and attach
to the wall of our bedroom. When you feel like having sex start
pumping on it. "
He dies and his wife does exactly what he said.
Three of her neighbors come to know about this. They plan to make a
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The second man tries it and the same thing happens.
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wall with a knife and says, "come on darling we are shifting to
another house."
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife sells hubby's mistress' underpants
QUEENSLAND, Australia - A Queensland, Australia, woman
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1393
Closing In, But on What?
Diana: How much further?
BJ: I do not know. He gave us a map, or rather a route to take and
mentioned he would meet us along the way. So it could be any where.
Diana: We are taking a small road, highway 412 from Enid all the
way
to Springer, New Mexico. Where are we now?
BJ: We just passed Boise, Oklahoma, we should be in Springer in a
few
hours. We will spend the night there.
Rudy: In a motel or camp out?
Sandi: The weather is not bad, let's camp out. This is a camper
van, there
are sleeping bags, a stove.
Katie: Can I plug my dvd player into something?
Diana: I need a shower.
BJ: Let's see how we feel later as we approach Springer. Heck the
traveler
might be before Springer. Don't forget there are wild animals out
here,
coyotes, antelopes, deer, and even elk.
Katie: Motel.
Rudy: Motel.
Sandi: Motel.
Katie: I can phone for a pizza.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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