Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
For those big game hunters that like to have the largest in their arsenal
including 4 gauge shotguns and .50 caliber sniper rifles, all I can say is
you have to get one of these.
By Geoff Fein, Office of Naval Research Public Affairs
Arlington, Va (NNS) -- Senior Navy leaders will be on hand Dec. 10 at Naval
Surface Warfare Center Dahlgren Division (NSWCDD) for a record-setting test
of the Office of Naval Research's (ONR) experimental Electromagnetic Railgun
the service's effort to evolve surface ship weapons.
With the latest demonstration, the Navy will fire a 32-mega joule muzzle
energy shot, and attempt to set a new world record for the Railgun program.
A mega joule is a measurement of energy associated with a mass traveling at
a
certain velocity. For example, a one-ton vehicle moving at 100 mph equals a
mega joule of energy.
The test will also show the tactical relevance of the technology.
"The importance of the 32-mega joule demonstration is the feasibility of the
system at an energy level that has military significance," said Roger Ellis,
ONR Electromagnetic Railgun program manager.
In terms of capability, a future tactical Electromagnetic Railgun will hit
targets at ranges almost 20 times farther than conventional surface ship
combat systems. A 32-mega joule shot, for example, could reach ranges of
more
than 100 nautical miles with Mach 5 velocity, said Dr. Elizabeth D'Andrea,
ONR Electromagnetic Railgun program strategic director.
I am not sure how they are going to aim this and I would hate to be a
spotter
watching these land but I think that is pretty darn impressive and you could
fire
a semi at 100 mph. Those container ships would have a new weapon against
Somali pirates. Take 40,000 pounds of Sanyo TV sets, you bums.
Yesterdays computer switch didn't go as planned and we are back on the old
templates and plain text.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy.
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Ken Chips
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Ken's Letter To Santa
Dear Santa,
I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for
changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and
career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging
remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and my some of my
fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you
of some of issues concerning Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs
and desires.
First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES
NOT deserve preferential treatment - the bitch has everything. I,
along with Joe, Jem, Raggedy Ann & Andy, DO NOT have a dreamhouse,
corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases, the ability to changes
our hair style. I personally have only 3 outfits which I am forced
to mix and match at great length. My decision to accessorize my
outfits with an earring was my decision and reflects my lifestyle
choice.
I too would like a change in career. Have you ever considered
"Decorator Ken", "Beauty Salon Ken", or "Out of work Actor Ken" ? In
addition, there are several other avenues which could be considered
such as: "S & M Ken" "Green Lantern Ken" "Chippendale Ken" ...
"Master Ken" These would more accurately reflect my desires and
perhaps open up new markets.
And as for Barbie needing bendable arms so she can "push me away," I
need bendable knees so I can kick the bitch to the curb. Bendable
knees would also be helpful for me in other situations - we've
talked about this issue before.
In closing, I would like to point out that any further concessions
to the blonde bimbo from hell will result in action be taken by
myself and others. And Barbie can forget about having G.I.Joe - he's
mine.
Real sincerely,
Ken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Christmas cards
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x013.html
what the hell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x014.html
moments in history
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x015.html
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Barbie Chips
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Dear Santa (From Barbie)
Dear Santa:
Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year,
playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy
bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one
too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S
DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around
here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown
(and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it).
So, here's my holiday wish list, Santa:
1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized
sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are
these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels
like to have nylon and Velcro crawling up your butt?
2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white.
What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation
underwear to my skin? (It looks like cellulite);
3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over
that wimped-out excuse for a boyfriend Ken. And what's with that
earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make
him (and me) anatomically correct;
4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp
away once he is anatomically correct;
5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to
twist, just get it done;
6. A sports bra. To wear until I get the surgery.
7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it.
How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, an advertising account
exec or even a hooker....for goodness sake!
8. A new, more '2008 persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a
miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a
bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun,
outfitted with a fake fur coat and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking
Barbie", sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with
several packs of gum;
9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl;
10. Mattel stock options. It's been 42 years--I think I deserve it;
Ok, Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to
society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you
disagree, then you can find yourself a new bimbo doll for next
Christmas. It's that simple.
Up yours truly,
Barbie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Press Dough - Design your own cookie creations
Make fun, editable art with Press Dough. Take cookie making to a new level
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Learn More
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Funeral Chips
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A man dies "in the act" after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set
into his private parts.
The funeral director can't get the coffin lid nailed on and has to
discuss the alternatives with the man's beautiful young widow. "I'm
afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another
$3,000 for an extra large coffin or to amputate his member."
"Well I have no more money," states the widow, "and it is against my
religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece."
The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a
brain-
wave: He'll amputate the member and then stick it up the deceased's
backside, in which case a more expensive coffin is unnecessary and
the husband will still be, in a manner of speaking, in the one
piece.
The widow reluctantly agrees.
On the day of the funeral, the deceased is displayed in an open
casket. As the mourners file by, one mourner places flowers on the
coffin and a drop of water from the flowers falls onto the
deceased's
face, looking for all the world like a teardrop. The next mourner to
file by is the widow. She looks down at her lifeless husband,
notices
the "teardrop" and says to him quietly, "See, I told you it hurts!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bare Lifts - Invisible Bra Support
Bare Lifts is the invisible solution to a naturally perky look. Wear them
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Commuter Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a transcript between a commuter and the railroad company, regarding
services of the latter.
"Gentlemen: I have been riding trains daily for the last twenty-two years,
and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am
tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a
14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse that that enjoyed
by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly, A Commuter"
The Reply to the above:
"Dear Sir: We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our
service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history.
The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely, Western Railways"
And the Counter-Reply was:
"Gentlemen: I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who
are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of
David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass...
That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in
the last twenty-two years!
Yours truly, A Commuter"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raise Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about
this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze."
"The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did"
Wife increasingly agitated:
"Oh he did did he???"
Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.
"And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora...... The gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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First-time DISH Network customers only. This promotion expires and is
subject to change after Jan 31st, 2011.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/His Gift To Us
www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/HisGiftTo..html
Joan w/ True Meaning Of Christmas
http://alongpoetryroad.com/why_christmas.html
Carolyn w/ Frosty The Snowman ~ Gene Autry
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/frosty.html
Answer To A Child's Prayer
http://www.carolspoetry.com/childs.html
Bailey's Jesus!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bailey.html
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Dress The Elf
http://www.animatedchristmas.com/game/68-elf-fords-dressup-gift-game
Redneck Christmas Tree!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redneck.html
Tour Inside Of Google!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/insidegoogle.html
Sleeping With The Troops!
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/sleep.html
Paper Snowflakes Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/yvqggr
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
YouTube Downloader,
http://youtubedownload.altervista.org/download.htm
How to Videos on MonkeySee - Free Instructional Videos
http://www.monkeysee.com/
Create Letterheads Online
http://tinyurl.com/mkvexg
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Kitty Korner
http://infinitecat.com/infinite/cat1.html
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Movie Links
Gym
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dss.htm
Handling Road Rage
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nbjkk.htm
Home & Garden TV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/allka.htm
Hot Tub Mishap
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkjkkol.htm
How To Get A Divorce
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkhkjh.htm
McRonalds
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2wds.htm
My First Rescue
http://www.buffaloschips.com/yh.htm
Never Underestimate An Old Girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/67t.htm
Obongo 08
http://www.buffaloschips.com/iuhj8.htm
Oeufs Poussins
http://www.buffaloschips.com/trfu.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frozen Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd
you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man.
"You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes.
But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind
of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife
was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I
ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to
the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the
second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I
could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart
attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cinema
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lk546k.htm
Clap Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl45j6lkj45.htm
Clean Undies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl54j6k54l.htm
coca cola
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nvhjkdvghdfk.htm
sexx1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mghdkflgdf.htm
big wood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/,dgjdlfgfd.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BedBug Out - Don't Let the Bedbugs BiteReduce Bedbugs and other pests
in as soon as 2 weeks. Rid your home of pests, dust mites and bedbugs
quick and without harmful chemicals.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschips.com/bedbu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and slouch.
You can't take your women
Canoein' or swimmin',
But a lot can be done on a couch.
___________________________________
A lubricious young woman named Gwen
Had never learned how to say "when!"
So she did it again
And again and again
And again and again and again.
___________________________________
There once was a fellow named Clyde
Who fell into an outhouse and died
His unfortunate brother
Fell into another
And now they're interred side by side
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball
Mesmerize the mind and confuse the senses. Fushigi is an incredible,
therapeutic form of relaxation. The art of maneuvering a clear, reflective
sphere through mind and body isolation and manipulation creates the illusion
that the sphere is moving on its own.
Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/fushi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman,
with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him
with the news that the
baby was his and asked what was he going to do aboutit? Finally he
offered to provide her with free meatuntil the boy was 16. She
agreed.He had been counting the years off on his calendar,and one
day the teenager, who had been collecting themeat each week, came
into the shop and said, "I'll be16 tomorrow.""I know," said the
butcher with a smile, "I've beencounting too, tell your mother, when
you take thisparcel of meat home, that it is the last free
meatshe'll get, and watch the expression on herface."When the boy
arrived home he told his mother. The womannodded and said, "Son,
go back to the butcher and tellhim I have also had free bread, free
milk, free groceries and free rent for the last 16 years, and watch
the expression on HIS face!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1939 Hunting the Christmas Tree
Rudy: So what are we doing again Toots?
Diana: We are out looking for our Christmas tree.
Rudy: So this is why Sandi and I get to pull the sled?
BJ: Val and Katie will help with the chore, right girls?
Val: Sure I will.
Diana: Where is Katie?
Sandi: Huff huff, I saw her running over the hill.
BJ: Here are some nice looking trees.
Diana: Yes, which one do you like Rudy?
Rudy: The really small and light one, so we won't break our backs hauling it
back.
BJ: Aw come on. I will help pull the sled.
Sandi: I think that seven foot one should be about right.
To be continued The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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