Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
This is Green Bay ------PACKERLAND
This is from a friend who is a retired teacher and who is involved with the
Boys & Girls Club. Someone from the Packer organization called a guy at the
Boys & Girls Club and told him to bring 75 kids from the Boys and Girls Club
to the new bowling alley in Howard and they would get soda, pizza and free
bowling. They got a second call upping the amount of kids to100.
When they all got there, there were about 15 Packers players there to visit
and bowl with them. When they were finished, all the kids were each given
$100 to go to Shopko for Christmas shopping, accompanied by the Packer
players. And it was all funded by Aaron Rodgers. There was no publicity, no
television cameras. We are lucky to have him in Green Bay
Larry
buffalo says I wonder if he did that before or after the concussion
Detroit gave him Saturday.
For those of you not used to the effects of winter,
from our archives, the winter glossary.
I know many have not seen the stuff except on TV and know nothing of
the terminology so here it is buffalo style.
Snow: white fluffy crystals of water and toxic matter.
Snow Man: made from snow, assembly required.
Snow Showers.: light snowfall
Scattered Snow Showers: Falls on your yard but not the neighbors.
Snow Flurries: Snow propelled by wind like in the movies.
Blizzard : lots of snow real fast for days . Will fill a 16 oz. cup
in seconds add sugar and M&Ms and save 2.49 at McDonalds.
Hypothermia : lowering of the body's core temperature to the point
where you start writing jokelists 12 months of the year. May lead to
death if you aren't thawed out occasionally.
Global Warming: Polar Bears that were drowning because they had no
ice flows to rest on were frozen into 16 feet of ice during the last
cold spell and are now referred to as speed bumps by the Ice Road
Truckers. Another sign of global warming is that Calgary was 40
below zero yesterday and they got a ton of snow, but it was that
low humidity snow that doesn't leave a wet spot when it melts.
Now everyone knows why Doc Chuck shared all the survival stories
with you. We have it on good authority that this will be a mini Ice
Age and soon you will be able to ice skate all over the swamps of
the South and Hockey will become the sport of choice.
Take Care ..... buffalo
A Newsletter You may Enjoy
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Cold Chips
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The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart
50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.
35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down
32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
American water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
Mt.St. Helens freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the
keg
-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup
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Cap Chips
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Der Little Fur Cap
Der next night vas Christmas,
Der night it vas still;
Der stockings vas hung
By der chimney to fill.
Nodding vas stirring
At all in der house,
For fear dat St. Nicholas
Might schmell a mouse.
Der kinder had pottied
und gone to der bed,
Und Mudder in nightgown
Und I up ahead,
Vas searching around
In der truck for der toys;
Ve crept around quiet,
To not make ein noise.
Now Mudder vas carrying
Toys in her gown,
Showing her person
From vaistline on down;
Ven as ve came near
To der crib of our boy,
Our youngest and sweetest,
Our pride and our choy;
His eyes opened vide,
Und he peeped from der cot;
Und he saw everything
Dot his Mudder has got;
But he didn't take notice
Of toys in her lap;
He chust asked, "For who
Is der little fur cap?"
Und Mudder said, "Hush,"
Und she laughed mit delight,
"I tink I give dot
To your Poppa tonight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONDOM WEEK SLOGANS
Cover your stump before you hump.
Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
Don't be silly, protect your willy.
When in doubt, shroud your spout.
Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.
If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
She won't get sick, if you wrap your dick.
If you go into heat, package your meat.
While your undressing venus, dress up your penis.
When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.
Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker.
Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
The right selection, is to protect your erection.
Wrap it in foil, before checking her oil.
If you really love her, wear a cover.
Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.
Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Santa Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa's Response To Little Johnny's After Christmas Letter
by Lee Bradley
Dear Johnny,
I know WHO you are, and I KNOW where you live. You little shit! You
can't talk to SANTA like that and get away with it!
If you don't like the yo-yo, which is a classic toy, by the way,
then
you can just cram it up your little *$$! As for the whistle you
didn't care for -- I gotcha whistle right here!!! Come blow on this!
And the socks...well, I figured you are big enough to be whacking
off, and those sox would have come in handy and been handy to ...
well, even you should get the picture!
And... that little "faggot" across the street, you'll be happy to
know that he's already got pubic hair and his whang is TWICE as long
as yours. Besides, his parents think YOU're the fag --always moanin'
and whinin'.
Don't worry about gathering up rocks for my visit to your house next
year, 'cause I ain't coming down your chimbly ever again. If you
find
any pennies this year, you had better stop and pick them up, 'cause
that's about all you're going to get for Christmas. Your mom and dad
are going to be killed in a car crash, and you'll be stuck in an
orphanage before Thanksgiving.
Bad? You want BAD? I'll show you who's bad!
Affectionally, Adieu,
Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Christmas With You
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/C/With.html
God Bless Our Troops
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Christmas Around The World
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Avery Winter singing "Happy Birthday Jesus".
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Bible: When Was Jesus Born?
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Surfin Surfari
DIRECTOR BLAKE EDWARDS DIES IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
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Plant 2 Boeing's last plane Via Dianne
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32 Things You Can Do With Beer
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Let's Decorate The Tree
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
SnowBerry Designs
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Background Pages
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Christmas Graphics
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Nipple Bitten Off
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Hair Piece
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Hang Onto That Pole
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nose Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DAD'S EXPLANATION Son: "Dad, why does love-making makes you feels
good?"
Dad: "Just like digging in your nose, it's feels good, right!"
Son: "Why is it that guys don't usually feel as good as gals?"
Dad: "Just like when you dig in your nose, it's your nose that feel
good, not your finger!"
Son: "Then why do gals feel bad when they are raped?"
Dad: "If a stranger comes along and digs in your nose, will you feel
the same way?"
Son: "When girls are having their menstruation, why don't they
usually want to have sex?"
Dad: "If your nose is bleeding, will you still want your nose to be
dug?"
Son: "Dad, one last question ... why don't guys like to wear condoms
when they make love?"
Dad: "Would you want to wear a glove when you dig your nose?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cans
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With his pecker limp on the floor,
And his wife still implorying for more --
"Ten hours of screwing
Has been my undoing;
I simply can't Fuck any more!"
_______________________________
There was a young woman in Dee
Who stayed with each man she did see.
When it came to a test
She wished to be best,
And practice makes perfect, you see.
I chase all the girls when I'm spunky
A five day a week sexual junky
I tend not to stray
On Tues- or Wednesday
On those nights I spank my own monkey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This morning a coalition of Muslim leaders warned the United States that
if military action against Muslim countries continues, they intend to cut
off America 's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers. If this action
does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by
Dell, AT&T and AOL customer service reps. Finally, if all else fails,
they have threatened not to send us any more Presidents either. It's gonna
get ugly, people!
Gordon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1945
?
Rudy and Val Diana is ready to head back to Kansas after her surgery.
Diana: Okay it is time to decide, who is staying and who is coming with me?
Sandi: Staying.
Katie: Staying.
Val: I am with Rudy and whatever he does, I will do.
Rudy looks long at the house in Guthrie and at Sandi and Katie and looks at
Diana and Val. Rudy: Darn it! I wish I could split myself in two, but I am
heading back to Kansas today. Maybe this weekend I will come back with
Sandi, Katie and Dad, but today I am with you Toots.
Diana smiles: Well get in the car Rudy and Val.
With a heavy heart Rudy and Val get in the car.
Sandi: Come on inside Katie, this will be tough enough as is without Rudy
seeing us outside.
Katie: Good idea. The patio door is open I guess.
Sandi: Yes.
The herd (and so it goes, hearts are tugged but each week the time apart
draws closer and soon there will be no more trips)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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