Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I am as you probably expected sitting here watching the Lions
and Bears go at it. Detroit just got on the board first which has
been pretty common this year but they same to lose momentum
in the second half. It is still better ball than you would expect from
a team that hasn't won 5 games in the past three seasons.
I have been following the Wikileaks mess for awhile now
and I have a solution. Since this guy thinks that leaks are
right and hurts no one, I think they should put him in a boat
in the middle of Lake Superior and shoot a bunch of holes
in it and leave him. If he can bail faster than the leaks, so
be it, if not he can join the UFO at the bottom of the lake.
The people from this country that have been feeding him
his info should be tried and lined up against a wall and shot.
I think it is great that the Jester has hacked his site and
knocked it down but I think we should go one step further
and assume complete control over all incoming and thru
traffic on the internet and if any country be it N. Korea or
Switzerland wants to host terrorists, spammers, and spies
we deny them access to our country. If the Swiss banks were
unable to do wire transfers, they would probably remove the site
quickly.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A Newsletter You May Enjoy
Diabetic Delite
Sent weekly on Friday afternoons.
Sent 4 PM Central (US) time.
Statistics included when available.
RecipeRossDD-Subscribe@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:RecipeRossDD-Subscribe@yahoogroups.com]
= = = = = = =
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Short Chips
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I called my mother and father at my brother's home to see how they
were getting along baby-sitting their grandchildren for the week.
They both picked up extension phones at the same time. Mother
sounded frantic; Father sounded anxious. When I asked what was
wrong, Mother explained: "The boys were misbehaving, and your father
grounded them." Consolingly, I suggested that the boys would
survive. But Mother sighed and said, "He's not punishing them, he's
punishing us!"
My sister-in-law Bonnie was very busy getting her house clean. She'd
finally gotten to the basement and after quite a few trips up and
down she heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up
the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end. "Hello, is
this Bonnie Diamond?" "Yes." "We are calling people in your area and
would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief
survey." Without missing a beat, she told them... "I'm very busy
right now. You will have to survey your own briefs." Click.
Thomas Gladstone, a stockbroker, received an urgent phone call one
afternoon. "My name is Walters," the caller announced. "About two
weeks ago, my wife got this crazy idea and started walking the
street, asking me to procure customers for her." "Just a minute,"
Gladstone protested. "You want Dr. Gladstone the psychiatrist. His
name is right below mine in the phone book. Many people dial me by
mistake." "No mistake," came the reply. "I want you to invest all
the money we're making."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
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Jill: Did you manage to find Janie a date for the
Christmas party?
Mary: Oh, yeah! It was no problem. I just told the
guy that she was like that 10-10-220-phone service
commercial: Easy AND cheap!
KID: "Mother, doesn't God give us our daily bread?"
MOM: "Yes, dear."
KID: "And Santa brings us our toys at Christmas?"
MOM: "Yes, dear."
KID: "And the stork brings babies?"
MOM: "Why certainly, dear."
KID: "Then what's the old man hanging around for?"
I called the local newspaper's classified section to complain about
an ad I'd placed. It was obvious the person who took my information
had never spent any time on a farm.
"I said 'ewes'," I argued.
"Pardon?" replied the operator.
"Ewes. It makes a difference to some people."
The ad that was placed read: "Sheep for sale--USED."
-----------------------------------
A man was being sued for divorce on the grounds of infidelity.
Appearing before a London divorce court, he was asked to explain
what he and his alleged lover were doing in the bedroom in the dark.
"Playing snooker," he said.
The judge then asked him about the passionate noises
the wife heard coming from the bedroom. The man was
unfazed.
"Those noises were completely innocent," he assured the court. "They
were actually an expression of surprise or disappointment made when
playing a difficult shot."
"But why was the woman nude?" the court asked.
Still unfazed, the man said, "Well she was doing some sewing and
altering her slacks."
The divorce was granted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Redhead Chips
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1)- How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
2)- Why do redheads really like their hair color?
3)- Why didn't Indians scalp redheads?
4)- Why aren't most redheads flat-chested?
5)- How can you tell if redhead is lonely?
6)- Why are redheads considered evil?
7)- What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
8)- Why don't redheads wear training bras?
9)- Why did they quit selling redheaded Barbie dolls?
10)- What did the frustrated redhead say to her uninterested lover?
11)- What do redheads miss most about a great party?
12)- How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a
girlfriend?
13)- How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?
ANSWERS:
1)- She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl.
2)- It does the same thing for the men it does for the bulls ... it
fires them up!
3)- They knew better.
4)- It makes reading the T-shirt more exciting.
5)- There are less than 5 men around her.
6)- Aren't ALL addictions considered bad for you?
7)- A man that's taken with a redhead, but is batting 'zero.'
8)- There's nothing 'in training' on a redhead.
9)- Ken kept having low self esteem issues.
10)- Nothing. 'Frustrated' and 'uninterested' don't appear in
a redhead's vocabulary.
11)- The lack of equality in male partners.
12)- She has scratched 'Stay off MY TURF!' on his back with
her claws ...er ... nails, that is.
13)- She unties you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Humpback Chips
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The anatomy lesson for the week was the way in which the body of a
handicapped person compensates for its deficiency. As an example, the
professor showed a slide of a man with no legs whose arms and shoulders had
consequently become hugely muscled. "Your assignment," he instructed a
pretty medical student, "is to find someone who has compensated for a
physical handicap and to report on it for the class."
After class the student went into the bar next door, and what should she
catch sight of but a hunchback nursing a beer at the bar. Screwing up her
courage, she went over and told him about her assignment. "If you don't
mind my asking," she said sweetly, "is there some part of your anatomy which
has compensated for your handicap?"
"As a matter of fact there is," said the hunchback. "Come up to my place
and I'll show you." When they got upstairs, he dropped his pants and
revealed the biggest cock she had ever seen. Kneeling down, she couldn't
resist touching it, then caressing it, then rubbing it against her face.
"For God's sake, don't blow it!" screamed the hunchback, jumping back.
"That's how I got the hump on my back."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Condom Chips
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A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the Pharmacist,
"I want me one of them thar condoms with pesticides on it.
Where do I find 'em?" The pharmacist replied,
"Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE,
not pesticide. They're on aisle 4."
"No, no, I want me them thar condoms with PESTICIDE on it," growled
the farmer.
"Sir," said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining,
"PESTICIDE is for killing insects,
SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm.
I'm sure that you mean spermicide instead of pesticide."
"Listen here, " argued the farmer,
"I want condoms with PESTICIDE on it,
my wife's got a bug up her ass, and I aim to kill it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/My Prayer
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/Pra.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index..html
White Christmas by The Drifters
http://heavensgates.us/50s/whitechristmas/
Carolyn w/ Blue Christmas ~ Elvis Presley
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Christianity
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/christianity.html
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Surfin Surfari
Carbon Monoxide
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Charlie Tree
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Cut Out And Keep
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Medical Health Test
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Building Advertising Art
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Sounds a Dying Hard Drive Makes
http://datacent.com/hard_drive_sounds.php
Christmas Swf
http://script-artist.com/swf/POLARXMAS.html
White Christmas Swf
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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Animal World
The Pigeon Cote
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The World of Owls
http://www.worldofowls.com/
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Movie Links
Taint
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vgffdesw.htm
Taint Taster
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Time to Leave Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mhfdesere.htm
Triceratits
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Un BarDame
http://www.buffaloschips.com/seaedrty.htm
Court House Shooting Idiot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sfserfs.htm
Cutest Plumber
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjsdkjs.htm
Deer Jumps Cycle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/safs.htm
Drag Race Slomo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfwsew.htm
Dry Retriever
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sfew.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clown Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This young boy is 10 years old and all he ever wanted to do is go to the
circus. Finally one day his mommy goes, "Come on honey, we are going to go
to the circus today!" The young boy, Billy, is so overjoyed and he cant wait
to go. When they get to the circus they get a good seat right in the front
row. Well suddenly the circus clowns come out and start dancing around and
such. Billy is so happy and the circus clown asks for a volunteer.
Billy raises his hand yelling like cute little kids do: "me me me me me"
Well, Bobo the circus clown walks up to little Billy and goes "Hiya kiddo"
in that clown voice they have... Billy is so happy and he answers, "HI
BOBO"...
Then Bobo says to him, "Well kiddo, are you a donkey?"
And billy playing along says, "Yes Bobo"
Then Bobo goes, "Then you must be an Ass!"
All the people in the circus break out into laughter.
Little Billy is devastated. Everyone was laughing at little Billy.
From that point on, Billy made it his personal mission in life to get back
at that clown. As Billy gets older and starts Junior high all he thinks
about are ways to get back at that clown. He studies clown books and circus
books once he reaches high school. He goes to clown school from High School
studying every in and out of being a clown just to one day get back at that
clown who ruined his life. Billy, now Bill, graduates clown school with
honors. Bill then takes martial arts for a year so he is skilled at kicking
ass.
Finally the day arrives when Bill decided it was time to get revenge at the
clown. So Billy goes back to that same circus and walks up and sits in the
front row just like he did 15 years ago. Suddenly as he awaits the start of
the circus the clowns come out. Dancing around just like usual Bill
instantly spots Bobo, the clown. Bobo jumps around the audience and asks
for a volunteer and Bill raises his hand up high...just waiting to be
picked. Bobo walks up to Bill and goes, "Hiya mister... Would you like to
volunteer?"
Bill stands up and walks out into the center of the circus and looks right
at Bobo the clown and says, "Sure." Bobo the clown then says to Bill, "Are
you a donkey?"
Bill answers, "Yes."
Then Bobo says, "Then you must be an Ass."
And Bill turns all red, the moment he has been waiting for for 15 years.
All his training for this one moment... and Bill answers, "Fuck You."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
burgers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/smgndfklghnfd.htm
bush
http://www.buffaloschips.com/zkjgjdfg.htm
bush and bush lite
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bush condoms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sirysirhse.htm
bush and turkey
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was old guy named Lee,
Who was stung in the balls by a bee,
He made oodles of money,
By oozing pure honey,
Every time he attempted to pee.
_______________________________
There was this young fellow from Yale,
Whose face was exceedingly pale.
He spent his vacation,
In self-masturbation,
Because of the high price of tail.
_______________________________
There was this fine lady from Cape Cod,
Thought babies were created by God
But it wasn't the Almighty
That lifted her nightie --
It was Roger, the lodger, by God!
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.
Learn More
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just applied for planning permission for a new-build house.
It was going to be 100ft tall and 400ft wide with nine turrets at
various heights and windows all over the place.
It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot
green.
The council told me to f*** off. So I sent in the application again,
but this time I called it a Mosque.
Building work starts on Monday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1937
TSO Pt 2
At the concert everyone is in their seats when...
the concert starts and the laser lights start and fire erupts and the music
goes at full blast.
BJ looks at Rudy who is frozen: Rudy are you all right?
Diana: He might be in shock. I might have to take him to the van.
Then with a mighty roar. Rudy: Yes!!! Rock it dudes!
BJ: I don't think I have seen Rudy with this emotion before.
Diana: Me either. Look at Val, she is playing the air guitar, having a duel
with Katie.
BJ: I will be darned.Sandi is asleep.
The explosion of 'Joy to the World' brings the crowd to their feet, except
for snoring Sandi.
A few hours later. Diana: That was some concert did you guys like it?
Rudy: Loved it.
Val: Me to. Thanks for the t-shirt.
Katie: Love mine to.
Rudy: Let's get Sandi.
Katie: I know, I get the feet.
Rudy: I get the front.
The herd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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