THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Like a lot of folks who draw SSI, I have a lot of time
on my hands. Money is short, of course, also, so I thought
maybe I could find some sort of work I could do. That
is a difficult challenge, what with my emphasyma, I
don't have a lot of options. Hooters did NOT need
a costume inspector. Then I tried being a Walmart
greeter, but I couldn't handle it. But then I figgered
I found the perfect solution, a dream job. as
a male masseuese. But that was not so good either.
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today..
Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face'
didn't mean what I thought it did.
go figger
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
realistic image
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x011.html
Venice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x012.html
Christmas cards
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x013.html
what the hell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x014.html
moments in history
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x015.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Mini Dachshund Puppy Vs. Mirror
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/500.html
the truck and the bridge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/501.html
the fart man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/502.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
Grand mothers in Brazil
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd538.html
REQUEST FIR SURGERY
Dear Dr. Dover:
I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile.
My reasons are numerous. After being married for
seven years and having had 7 children, I have come
to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless.
After getting married I was advised to use the rhythm
method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife
fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-Cha.
Apart from that, where do you find a band when you
get the urge at two o'clock in the morning?
A doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we
were living with the in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks
for the safe period, when the house was empty. Needless
to say this didn't work, and the wife got pregnant.
A lady of several years' experience said if we made
love while breast feeding we would be all right. Well,
I finished up with clear skin, Silky Hair and was very
healthy, but the wife got pregnant yet again.
Another tale we heard was if the wife jumped up and down
after intercourse this would prevent pregnancy. She
slipped a disk but still got pregnant again.
I asked the chemist about the condoms and he demonstrated
them, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again,
which did not surprise me as I never did believe how
stretching one of those things over your thumb could prevent babies.
We tried the coil next but that didn't work. It had a
left-hand screw and my wife is definitely a right-hand screw.
The Dutch cap was next and seemed to be our answer, but
my wife got severe headaches when the only size available
was too tight across the forehead.Eventually we tried the Pill,
but it kept dropping out, so she tried it between her knees
and I couldn't get anywhere near her.
You must appreciate my problems. If I can't have the
operation I will have to resort to oral sex, and I can't
believe that talking about it is any substitute for the real thing.
Yours sincerely,
________________
A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named
Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the
mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside.
The grass eventually became overgrown.
One day the mechanic was working on a car in the backyard
and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He
couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass
in the backyard. The next morning the mechanic went outside
and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what
had happened he looked toward the heavens and proclaimed,
"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!
___________________
Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of
their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb
visited her every day. One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved
playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all
through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to
Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's
softball there.' Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and
said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's
at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.'
Shortly after that, Rose passed on.
A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a
blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'
'Who is it?', asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'
'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'
'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'
'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.
'Rose! Where are you?'
'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news,
And a little bad news.'
'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.
'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's softball in
Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before
us are here, too.. Better than that, we're all young again.
Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or
snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want,
and we never get tired.'
'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams!
So what's the bad news?'
'You're pitching Tuesday.'
BUFFALO BILL
Girls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skal.htm
Giving Change Adult
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skksls.htm
Kitty Is In Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/87y5r.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES
Killer Elephant
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39823&s=n
Nancy Drew Dossier: Lights Camera Curses
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41764&s=n
Drunk Ants
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39822&s=n
Rino Unicorn
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41410&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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