Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Something interesting for you to read for a change.
"True Story of Rudolph"
A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty
apartment window into the chilling December night.
His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bobs wife,
Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her
mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and
asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw
tightened and his eyes welled with tears.
Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the
story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob.
Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too
little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd
rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to
fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful
to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great
Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all
short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings
and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in
the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938. Bob
struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy
a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined a make
one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and
told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope.
Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.
Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May
created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created
was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little
reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just
in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story
doesn't end there.
The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook
and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book.
Wards went on to print, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to
children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed
and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a
major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated
version of the book. In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of
Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller.
Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a
growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his
grieving daughter. But the story doesn't end there either. Bob's
brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the
song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah
Shore , it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph the
Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success,
selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of
"White Christmas."
The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on
returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the
lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so
bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.
buffalo says Ok I know Snopes says parts are stretched a little bit in this
story. Bah Humbug
I want to thank everyone that sent a Christmas Card this year. I stopped
sending them because I would ponder too long on what to write in them and
that my hoof scratches were too messy. Just writing Merry Christmas, Bill,
Sandy, and Buffy like Sandy would always felt so incomplete for the way I
feel about all of my friends on the net. Shame too cause I am sure that the
USPS could use the business.
Be Good Santa is watching you.. right now, he's behind you, no, over there
behind the drapes. Never mind he's in your refrigerator now.
buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
**Attention Group & List Owners**
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Christmas Chips
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This guy is on a rooftop about to jump off. His wife has left him, he has
lost his job and he owes thousands of dollars to the bank.
Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump, Father
Christmas taps him on the shoulder.
Are you OK?" asks Father Christmas.
The man explains why he is so miserable and gets ready to jump.
"Stop!" shouts Father Christmas. "I will grant you three wishes on the
understanding that you will do me a favor".
"Would you?" the man replies. "That would be wonderful!! Thank you, thank
you!"
Father Christmas promises him that:
1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her sexiest
underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your return, she will
have no recollection of her new boyfriend.
2. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue with your
work. Your salary will have increased by 50%. Also, nobody will have any
recollection of your sacking.
3. You shall go to your bank and you will be in credit, you will have no
outstanding bills.
"Oh thank you, thank you !" says the man. "What is it that I can do for
you?"
Father Christmas tells the man to drop his pants and bend over.
After a quite brutal humping, Father Christmas asks the man how old he is.
"36" replies the man.
You're a bit old to believe in Father Christmas!" laughs the jolly fat gay
bastard.
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Santa Chips
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Dear Christeen,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies
for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.
I was going to bring you all the gifts from the "Twelve Days of Christmas,"
but we have had a little problem up here. The Twelve Fiddlers Fiddling have
all come down with VD from fiddling with the Ten Ladies Dancing. The Eleven
Lords a Leaping have knocked up the Eight Maids of Milking, and the Nine
Pipers Playing have been arrested for doing weird things. Four Calling
Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves, and the Partridge in a Pear Tree
have me up to my ass in bird shit.
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, eight of my
reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the Gay Liberation and some
dumb-ass has scheduled Christmas in Poland for the 5th of February.
Sincerely, Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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12 Chips
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Dearest John, I went to the door today and the postman had delivered a
Partridge in a Pear Tree. What a thoroughly delighted gift! I couldn't
have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection, Aberdine
Dearest John, Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine-
two Turtle Doves! I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are
just adorable. You big silly, what next?
All my love, Aberdine
Dearest John, Aren't you the extravagant one! Now I really must protest. I
don't deserve such generosity - 3 French Hens! They are just darling, but I
must insist, you have been too kind.
Love, Aberdine
Dear John, Today the postman delivered 4 Calling Birds. Now really, they
are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too
romantic.
Affectionately, Aberdine
Dear John, What a surprise! Today the postman delivered 5 Golden Rings; 1
for every finger! You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all
those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
All My love, Aberdine
Dear John, When I opened the door there were actually 6 Geese a-laying on my
front steps. So you're back to the birds again, eh? Those geese are huge!
Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are starting to complain, and I
can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.
Cordially, Aberdine
John, What's with you and those F---ing birds? 7 Swans a-swimming? What
kind of goddamn joke is this? There's bird crap all over the house and they
never shut up. I can't get to sleep at night, and I'm a nervous wreck.
It's not funny! Stop with those F---ing birds already.
Sincerely, Aberdine
Okay buster, I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I to do with 8
maids-a-Milking? It's not enough, but they had to bring their goddamn cows!
There's manure all over the lawn, and I can't move in my own house. What
are you doing to me? Just lay off, smart-ass!
Aberdine
Hey asshole:
What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's 9 pipers piping, and Christ
do they play. They haven't stopped chasing those 8 maids since they got
here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all
over those screeching birds. What am I to do? The neighbors have started a
petition to have me evicted. You'll get yours...
Aberdine
You rotten prick!
Now there are 10 ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sl*ts
ladies. They've been at it all night, along with those frigging pipers!
Now the cows can't sleep, and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a
river of t*rds. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give
cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
I am going to ask to ask the police to intervene. One who means it.
Venomously, Aberdine
Listen F---head:
What's with the 11 lords a-leaping all over those maids and ladies?
Some of those broads will never walk again! Those pipers have run through
the maids and are committing bestiality with the cows. All
23 of the birds are dead! They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I
hope you're satisfied you rotten, vicious, swine.
Your sworn enemy, Aberdine
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of 12 fiddlers fiddling, which you
have seen fit to inflict on our client, Aberdine. The destruction of
course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you
should attempt to reach Aberdine at the Happy Valley Sanitarium, the
attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter,
please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Sincerely, Badger, Bender, Cajole - Attorneys at Law
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on
Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for
Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe." Santa
looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with
Ken." "No," said the little girl, "She comes with GI Joe, she fakes it with
Ken."
It was Christmas Eve and a woman came home to her husband after a day of
busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed
he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg.
He asked her what it was she told him that she had visited the tatoo parlor
that day and on the inside of one leg she had "Merry Christmas" tatooed, and
on the inside of the other one she had "Happy New Year."
Her husband asked her what all that meant and her reply was, "Well, now you
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Head Chips
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A young woman has just given birth to her son, but the Doctor won't let her
see him. "I'm afraid", says the Doctor, "that he's a litle disabled..." But
the woman, her mind filling with love for her new son, demands to see him.
Sure enough, the Doctor shows her her baby
- a handsome, healthy boy - but - just a head. He has no body....
"I know he's lacking in some limbs," , says the Doctor, " (like all four),
but he is a minor miracle - he is in perfect health..." So, the woman and
her husband take him home, call him 'Eddie', and set about building a
normal, healthy family life.
Ediie's first, second, third and fourth birthdays come and go without a
hitch.
Then comes his fifth. His mother is looking for him to come and open his
birthday present. "Where's Eddie?", she asks her husband.
"Oh, he's having a roll in the garden". She goes into the garden, and
shouts "Eddie, Eddie!" "What Mum?" "It's your birthday, Eddie"
"I know Mum" "Don't you want to come and open your present?" "Oh fuck off.
It'll only be another hat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Christmas Jukebox
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Wav/Jk.html
Marlene-Christmas times a coming/
http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML3/Christmas-Time_a_Coming.html
Unto This Day
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The Gift Of Christmas
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Melva/Joy Of Christmas
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Melva/Heart To Heart
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Surfin Surfari
Ugly Christmas Sweaters Via Day
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Christmas Lyrics Via Dianne
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Santa Claus and Christmas at the Northpole
http://www.northpole.com/
Christmas Trivia Quiz
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Christmas Clip Art
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Christmas Coloring Book
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Christmas Stories
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Christmas Poems
through the years.
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<A href="http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/GreatestGift.htm">
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<A
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AOL Link</A>
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<A
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AOL Link</A>
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<A
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AOL Link</A>
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Movie Links
Streaker Goal
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Sunrise Gold
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Super Gra
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Money Chips
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Older brother, Joe, was giving advice to his younger brother, Kevin, on how
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So in terms of directions Joe told Kevin you want to look at a girl's crotch
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dollar, and the bottom is a dime. So Kevin goes and thinks about this.
Kevin and his girlfriend finally decide to have sex, so he uses the advice
his brother gave him. He starts out real slow going "quarter....,
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it in his mind faster "quarter..,nickel..,dime..,dollar.." He goes even
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orgasm and he starting screaming out loud "Buck forty, Buck forty."
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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That wily old pervert St. Nick
Made good use of the curve to his dick.
He glazed the whole shaft
Painted stripes, then he laughed
As he offered young ladies a lick.
The night started with hot sexual talk,
As they screwed they lost track of the clock.
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They continued to play,
Until neither were able to walk!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
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Helping me sort clothes into 'save' and 'give
away' piles, my six-year-old daughter came
across a garter belt.
"What's this?" she asked.
"It's a garter belt," I said.
Seeing that meant nothing to her, I added,
"It's for holding up stockings."
"Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the 'save'
pile, "we'll use it next Christmas Eve."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Health warning for WOMEN who used Zyban to quit smoking.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1950
Christmas Cards Continued
Tami goes out to her mailbox and finds some Christmas cards, obviously
handmade. She goes into the house and sits down to read them.
Dear Miss Tami, Though through out the years I may have played some tricks
on you, I consider you a dear friend. So please take these gift cards as a
token of my friendship at this special time of the year.
Your friend, Katherine Kassity Enclosed A free travel voucher for KSR
Airlines.
A free seven day and six night vacation at any KSR vacation site.
A bag of KSR popcorn.
Tami: Wow that is pretty cool. Let me read the fine print.
KSR Vacation sites are limited to:
The South Pole The North Pole The Sahara Desert Somalia Tami: ACK!!!
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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