THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
But how to dance in the rain.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
A lot of you "oldsters" have written to me
expressing difficulties with the issue of
"texting" ...specifically, the abbreviations
can be a bit challenging. So, here is a list
of them that may be handy for someone who is
a little "older"...
Texting Abbreviations for the Elderly
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing…
And Can't Get Up
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
LOL: Living On Lipitor
OMG: Oy, My Grandchildren!
OMG: Ouch, My Groin!
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
WTF: What's Today's Fish?
WTF: Wet The Furniture
IMHMO: In My HMO…
RULKM: Are You Leaving Kids Money?
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
GTG: Gotta Groan
TGIF: Thank Goodness It's Four
(Four O'Clock – Early Bird Special)
FWB: Friend With Betablockers
FYI: For Your Indigestion…
JK: Just Kvetching
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
MILF: Meal I'd Like To Forget
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
MGAD: My Grandson's A Doctor
SUS: Speak Up, Sonny
WIWYA: When I Was Your Age (my favorite)
GOML: Get Off My Lawn
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________________
THE COMICS
never realized
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w061.html
counseling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w062.html
intriguing gift
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w063.html
a logical answer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w064.html
surprises
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w065.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
elevator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/484.html
glad we could make your day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/485.html
leave work early
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/486.html
__________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd531.html
A brunette, redhead and blonde were at a special
magic Amusement Park.One of the rides was a long
slide at the end of which was a magic pool. On the
way down the slide, all the rider had to do was shout
out his or her favourite drink, and hey-presto they
would land in a pool full of this drink. So off they went.
The brunette went first. On her way down she shouted
out "Vodka" at the top of her voice, and sure enough
she landed in a pool of the finest vodka. After filling
several bottles and glasses she went home, happy
but a little un-steady.Next the redhead - who loved a
10 year old malt, went flying down shouting "Whisky",
and of course into a pool of whisky she fell. She had
to be dragged away practically unconscious.
Now it was the blonde's turn. She was very excited,
and on her way down she was enjoying the ride so much
she shouted - "Weeeeeee"......
____________
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in
Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other one
the Star of David.Many people go by and look at both
beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar
sitting behind the cross.A priest comes by, stops and
watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar
behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind
the Star of David.Finally, the priest goes over to the
beggar behind the Star of David and says:
"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic
country, this city is the seat of Catholicism. People
aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a
Star of David in front of you, especially when you're
sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they
would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the
priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said:
"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
____________
A man returning home a day early from a business trip
got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight.
While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he
would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having
an affair and he intended to catch her in the act.
For $100, the cabby agreed. Quietly arriving at the
house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom.
The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket
back and there was his wife in bed with another man.
The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very
generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money."
"He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for
our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our house at the lake."
"He paid for our country club membership,
and he even pays the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun.
He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket
before he catches a cold."
BUFFALO BILL
Royal Canadian Air Farce
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7831.htm
x352
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72212.htm
Yeah Right
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72213.htm
__________
FUN PAGES
Fat Fun
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41411&s=n
Frog Teeth
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42242&s=n
Lion Seul
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20493&s=n
How to Make a Paper Catamaran
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42156&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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