The Postman's Corner
There are three ways to get something done:
Do it yourself, hire someone to do it,
or forbid your children to do it.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Since Nancy Pelosi is no longer Speaker of the House,
she must give up her private jet.
She'll be flying Southwest from now on because
"Bags fly free"!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Maartin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
24 hrs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x006.html
how was school
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x007.html
my god, Jim
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x008.html
stuck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x009.html
when we grew up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x010.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Serious problem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/497.html
when garbage truck workers flirt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/498.html
911 call
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/499.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
of dogs and people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd535.html
Someone cares
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd536.html
grizzly bears
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd537.html
One time when I was visiting Toronto I asked a chap
where I could find a good house of ill repute. He
gave me an address and said to ask for Sally.
I went to the address and requested Sally. She took
me to a room, stripped down and said, "Go ahead,
but let me know how it is." After a few minutes
I said, "It's not bad but a bit loose."
She said, "Get off for a moment."
I did that and she reached down and fiddled about
with her privates. "Try it now." she said.
I did and found it better but still a bit loose,
so I told her so. She repeated her actions and when
I tried it again it was perfect. When we were
finished and I was paying her I asked, "How do you
manage to adjust it's size to fit anyone?"
"Well," she said, "I've been in this business for
some time and have developed warts on one side and
wormholes on the other. I just button them up."
______________
One day in a third grade classroom a teacher asked
her students what their fathers did for a living. The
first boy raises his hand, and says my dad is a
fireman. The teacher replies, "Hey, thats a great
profession, he gets to fight fires and he has to be very brave."
So the teacher calls on a second student. A young girl
is chosen, and she tells the class that her father is
a policeman. The teacher replied, "Oh thats a great
job, he has to be very brave, and he gets to put all
the criminals behind bars."
So a third student raises his hand and is chosen by
the teacher. She asks him what his father does for a
living and he says that his father eats light bulbs.
The teacher, now confused, says, "That's crazy, what
makes you think that he eats light bulbs?"
The student replies, "Well last night I got up out of
bed to get a drink of water, and when I walked by my
parents room I overheard my father say, 'Hey baby,
turn out the light and I'll eat it.'"
_____________
When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had
committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away.
He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated
on his income taxes, and that the only way he could get
into heaven would be to sleep with a 250 pound, hopelessly
stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it.
Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven.
So off he went with this enormous woman, pretending to be happy.
As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up ahead.
Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier woman than he was with.
When he approached Carlos he asked him what was going on,
and Carlos replied, "I cheated on my income taxes and
scammed the government out of a lot of money... even more then you did."
They both shook their heads in understanding and figured
that as long as they have to be with these women, they might
as well hang out together to help pass the time.
Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were walking
along, minding their own business when Tony and Carlos could
have sworn that they saw their friend Jon up ahead, only this
man was with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous supermodel/centrefold.
Stunned, Tony and Carlos approached the man and in fact it was their friend Jon.
They asked him how is he with this unbelievable goddess, while
they were stuck with these god-awful women.
Jon replied, "I have no idea, and I'm definitely not complaining.
This has been absolutely the best time, and I have five years
of the best sex any man could hope for to look forward to.
There is only one thing that I can't seem to understand.
After every time we have sex, she rolls over and murmurs to herself,
"Fucking income taxes!"
_______________
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director
started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him.
They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said,
"It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope,
matured in steel containers."
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass. "It's red wine , cabernet, eight years old, a
southwestern slope, oak barrels." "Correct."
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blond, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month.
And if you don't give me the job, I'll tell who's the father!"
BUFFALO BILL
German Coast Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsafe.htm
Gun Control
http://www.buffaloschips.com/4r4n.htm
How Aliens Fish
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34r43r.htm
Idiot 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5y5g3g.htm
FUN PAGES
Killing Lefties
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42250&s=n
World's Oldest Cat
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=34657&s=n
Headless Cockroach
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42231&s=n
Lion Seul
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20493&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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