Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Ok listen carefully because you aren't going to hear this very often.
The President and First Lady are right to take control of school food
and try to make our students and children more healthy. We have spent
too many years trying to keep children in school by kissing their butts
and giving them junk food and energy drinks at a time when both the
mind and body need nutritious food to develop along with exercise and
sleep. This was true 50 years ago when President Kennedy started
the JFK's to make children more fit and also to reward their work. I
have been overweight since I was a child but eating good food in school,
gym class 2-5 days a week, and living on a farm kept that from turning
into gross obesity. A lot of children today spend their non-school hours
playing their X-box, munching on junk food, and not getting enough
sleep at night to stay awake in school. I see people with children in
grade school that weigh almost as much as they do. There is a problem,
not that they are bad parents but there is still a problem and they are
leaving them open for a really miserable life. If someone wants to help
for 8 hours a day, I am all for it. Throw out the vending machines, make
every school district have a hot meal program and supply USDA meat
and produce to that program. Note that is not the crap from China but
from good American farms. That is the kind of stimulus we can use,
farmers growing crops, chefs preparing meals along with a student
with a well fed mind.
BTW I also agree that any man from any country that wants to complete
four years of military service deserves citizenship and free college. That
has
been a path to citizenship for a long time. If they make a mistake during
that
time give them a ticket home.
Enough for politics, enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A Newsletter You may Enjoy
*:*:*:*Fireside Chat:*:*:*:*
Crafts and Recipes only
Crafts range from beginners to difficult
Recipes range from easy to difficult
with different ethnic recipes included
Come and have a seat by our fire
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Mail Chips
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There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all
the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no
actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money
I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for
dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family
to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other
workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an
envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and
the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my
friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful
gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna
Heather
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Flying Chips
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Top Ten Ways to Make Airport Security More Pleasant
10.For an extra ten dollars, screeners will give you a luxurious Shiatsu
massage
9.To your left, X-ray conveyor belt; to your right, complimentary hot buffet
8.Passenger's naked body scan ends up on YouTube -- hey, that joke was in
the monologue!
7.Anyone caught with something suspicious has to eat it
6.You can watch other passengers get groped for 99 cents a minute
5.Guess the TSA agent's weight and you can bring any liquid on board
4.Passengers have option to be frisked by security or airport Cinnabon
employee
3.Pipe in soft rock classics from the 70s, 80s, 90s and today
2.Concludes with a good luck pat on the ass
1.Vibrating wands
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Soup Chips
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A woman filed for divorce. The reason: her husband did not
satisfy her sexual needs.
"Tell your side of the story," the judge said to the
husband.
"When we just married," the husband said, "my wife said,
'Let's us save money for furniture.' I agreed, so I ate
only soup until we had money for furniture. Then she said,
'Let's save money for a TV set..' I agreed, so I ate only
tea, until we bought the TV set. Then she said, 'Let's save
money for a car. She switched me to water...."
"It's interesting," the judge said, "But you better tell us
about your performance in bed. Your wife complains that you
do not satisfy....."
"Citizens, Judges! Just give me one bowl of soup, and I'll
satisfy all of you."
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Cinder Chips
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This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 1970's. Ronnie
Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after
how many takes.
The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much
for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the
spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read.......
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits,
and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters
were right bugly astards.. One wascalled Mary Hinge, and the other
was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they
had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy
fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there
would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve.. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!"
said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so
dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked
on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in... Suddenly,
Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper
on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking
funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
halls and
a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it
fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
follen swanny!
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Random Chips
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It was the first time that had made love. They were fondling each
other intimately. She had his dong in her hand. "What do you call
it?" she asked. "Some guys call theirs Dick or Peter, John Thomas or
Willie. What do you call yours?" "I don't have to call mine
anything," he replied "It usually 'cums' without being called."
A zipper on a gay Italian's pants is a Mediterranean fruit fly.
When my neighbor proudly told me he was surprising his new wife with
a horse for Christmas, I asked what kind of horses she liked to
ride. He said he wasn't sure, but she could probably ride about
anything since she had worked several years at the Mustang Ranch out
in Nevada.
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3
hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting
on"
A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be
taken apart like machines?" "Of course not, where did you hear such
nonsense?" replied his mother. The young boy answered, "The other
day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he
screwed the ass off his secretary."
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Manger Baby
www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/MangerBaby.html
Sands Of Christmas Via Juanita
http://www.mamarocks.com/sands_of_christmas.htm
Carolyn w/ The Christmas Song ~ Nat King Cole
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/thechristmassong.html
Come Adore Him!
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Surfin Surfari
How To Make A Wreath
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Disney Christmas
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Ice Hotel
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Liberty Air Show!
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Christmas "Gifs To You From Me *
http://www.angelfire.com/ky2/holly/index.html
Nostalgic MIDI Music
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Christmas Graphics
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Making Up
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Mama's Boobs
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Milk
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Money
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What Came Over Me (Buffalo Made Me Do This)
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaol.htm
Why College Takes 5 Years
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Wild
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Dirty Sneakers
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Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
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Dog in Trance
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Potential Chips
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This little boy goes up to his dad and he says "Dad?, What's the difference
between Potentially and Realistically?" To which the father replies "Well
son, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million
dollars. Then you ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a
million dollars. Then you ask your brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise
for a million dollars." So the boy goes up to his mom and asks her if she
would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars and the mother replies
"Oh my god, of course I would, he is so good looking!" So the boy moves on
and asks his sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and she replies "He is so fucking fine, of course I would!" Then last but no
least he goes up to his brother and asks him if he would sleep with Tom
Cruise for a million dollars, his brother says "Of course I would, who
wouldn't for a million bucks?" So he goes up to his dad and says "I think I
learned the difference between potentially and realistically" "Well what's
the difference?" says the father. "Well, potentially we're sitting on 3
million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 sluts and a fag!"
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Toon Chips
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camp tent feet
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camping
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campus
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can of shut the fuck up
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can you see my penis
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Limerick Chips
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Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball
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Parting Chips
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Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were
arguing over whose father could beat the other' up.
The brown-haired kid said, "My father is way better
than yours."
The blond came back, "Maybe, but my mother is better
than yours."
"Ya, that's what my father says too."
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Avandia shown to cause heart attacks and heart related injuries.
Have you taken avandia?
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Health warning for WOMEN who used Zyban to quit smoking.
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Do you take Paxil?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1943
The Elf Rudy is chuckling..
Then Sandi is smiling. Katie is laughing..
Val: What is so funny?
Rudy: Your turn to look in the mirror.
Val trots to the mirror: Ack, gag, an elf hat. This is silly. When did she
do this?
Katie: While you were sleeping. Sandi: I don't know about the rest of you
but I am hiding when I sleep.
Katie: Yes I might wind up a tree ornament.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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