THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The best way to forget all your
troubles is to wear tight shoes.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Next year, both Groundhog Day and the State of
the Union address occur on the same day.
It is an ironic juxtaposition of events; one
involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to
a creature of little intelligence for prognostication,
while the other involves a groundhog.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
THE COMICS
a bonus
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x041.html
boobs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x042.html
oops!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x043.html
allergies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x044.html
remember
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x045.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
The Christmas (Pat Down) Song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/524.html
Crabby Christmas Blues
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/523.html
Maxine's Night Before Christmas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/522.html
The 12 Days of Winter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/521.html
It's a Jolly Holi-dog Celebration!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/520.html
____________
POWER PoinT DISPLAY
bananas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd544.html
A prostitute on her period decides to catch a client
anyway. She thinks to herself: "I'll find some drunk.
He won't even notice anything."
She goes to the bar, finds a really drunk guy there,
takes him to the nearest hotel and they spend the night
together. The guy wakes up the next morning (the prostitute
is already gone by then) and as he starts to get out of bed
he sees that his hands are covered in blood. He starts
running around the room, saying to himself in panic: "Oh
my God! I killed her! I killed her!!!..."
As he runs to the bathroom he passes the mirror, stops,
looks at himself for a second and then screams:
"Oh my God!!! And I ate her too!!!"
_______________
A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change
a tire alongside the highway, and pulled over to see
whether he could help. The man had a very red face,
and a dark smear across it where he'd wiped off sweat
with dirty hands.His tie was undone and his shirt collar
askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on
his once-white shirt. Close to him stood an immaculately
neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones.
"Hello, there," said the motorist. "Say, I've changed a
lot of tires. . . maybe I can help here."
"You sure can," the man with the flat tire replied wearily.
"My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the
arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed,
I can concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done."
_________________
Little Suzy, age 9, and Little Johnny, age 10, are sitting
on the front porch swing.Little Johnny says to Suzy..."Screw you Suzy."
A minute goes by and Little Suzy turns to Johnny, and says..."Screw you
Johnny."Another minute goes by, and Johnny says to Suzy..."
Screw you Suzy."
In a minute or two Suzy says to Johnny..."Screw you Johnny."
A few minutes pass, and Johnny says to Suzy..."Screw you Suzy."
A minutes later Suzy says to Johnny..."Screw you Johnny."
About that time an adult steps out on to the porch and says...
"What are you kids doing?"
They answer in unison....."We are having oral sex!"
__________
Every time a new Pope is elected, there are many rituals in
accordance with tradition.
Well, there is one tradition that very few people know about.
Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi of
Rome seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope's presence,
whereupon he presents the Pope with a silver tray bearing a
velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled
envelope. The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture
of rejection.The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope
with him and does not return until the next Pope is elected.
A new Pope's reign was shortly followed by a new Chief Rabbi.
He was intrigued by this ritual, and that its origins were unknown
to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research
it, but they came up with nothing.
When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his
presence, they faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but,
as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave, His Holiness calls him back.
"My brother," the Pope whispers, "I must confess that we Catholics
are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries
between us and you, the representative of the Jewish people. I have
to ask you, what is it all about?"
The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies: "But we have no more idea
than you do. The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions
of ancient history." The Pope said: "Let us retire to my private
chambers and enjoy a glass of kosher wine together; then with your
agreement, we shall open the envelope and discover the secret at last."
The Chief Rabbi agrees.
Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the
curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the Chief
Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper.
As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opens it.
They both gasped with shock -
It is a bill for the Last Supper from "Moishe the Caterer"
BUFFALO BILL
Mum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaoo.htm
My New Country Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/oqqooq.htm
Never Smash A WD-40 Can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kajasoa.htm
New At Canadian Tire
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aioao.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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