Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Dear Buffalo,
Love your letters! Always take the edge off a tough day. My day, of course,
does not begin to be as tough as a soldier's day, especially one who has
been wounded in battle. A soldier from our area has suffered horrific
injuries. I do not know him personally, but I am able to enjoy freedom
because of people like him. According to his friends, interviewed in the
local paper, he is facing some very hard times. Please....check out the web
site they have put together to help him and his family.
http://www.johnmasson.com http://www.johnmasson.com
And if any of your readers would like to help, I am sure his family will be
very grateful. God bless you and Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Susan Zivich
buffalo says I am always happy to pass these on to the group.
I know about 26 million people play Farmville with me so I thought
I would pass on this warning. I bought a Christmas Tree down at the
market, the one that sells for one coin and did all of the steps to get
it set up to receive gifts. I came back this morning and I got a notice
saying I had pending presents but no tree. I went over there and all
that remained was a big scorched spot on the snow where the tree had
been and a fire truck still soaking a few embers. The State Fire marshal
was there and he had determined the cause of the fire to be defective
Christmas Tree lights that had been imported from Bangladesh. I know
that all of my lights were donated by my neighbors but they got them from
Farmville so they should take the blame. Right now I have two of those
big white turkeys that were roasted from the flame, my chickens are so
scared they won't lay, and my pigs refuse to hunt truffles. To make
matters even worse there was extensive damage to my ice house but
that is no where near as bad as the poor girl who was feeding the chickens
and had all of her hair burned off. I am looking into a class action suit
requiring Farmville to replace all of the lights and reimburse all for
damages
including Chicken Counseling. I think I can motivate the pigs to start
truffle hunting again as I added ghost chilies to their slop and they can
have ice cream to stop the burning when they find a truffle.
I recommend turning the lights off on your trees when there is no one around
at least till they come up with new lights and some fireproof flocking for
the
trees.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Scent - Refillable Perfume Atomizer
Take your favorite perfume wherever you go with My Scent. Refillable
atomizer as small as a lipstick - fits in any purse or pocket. It features a
clear window to indicate when it's time to refill. My Scent comes in three
fun colors - black, silver and pink.
Stay fragrant all day with My Scent,
Buy 1, Get 1 Free
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/mycent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5 Sexual Techniques to Make Her Wild with Desire and YOU happy till dawn!
From a good American friend of mine who states this really does work!
Between being married a long time, and also being a woman, I can tell you
blokes that there are certain things you can do to make your wife swoon.
They aren't difficult, anyone can do them and they are some of the most
sexiest things I can think of... and I have quite the imagination!!
So. Are you ready? Are you a real man? Wipe that drop of drool from the
corner of your mouth and read on....
Technique #1 : Wet Hands (One of the best)
Yep, it is the wet hands technique. Certainly one of the most popular among
most women of today who were recently polled for this article.
So simple. So exciting. You will leave her almost breathless.
* Fill the kitchen sink up with hot water and add a few drops of a scented
dish liquid. Not too many, you don't want it to be harsh.
There are many very nice scents out now, from vanilla and lavender to
grapefruit. It is completely up to you. With a soft cloth in your hands
plunge your hands into the water and get the cloth very wet.
Now, moving slowly and gently place a dish in the water and rub the cloth
Across the surface of it.. over and over again. Place the dish in clean
rinse water and repeat until she is moaning with pleasure.
Technique #2: Vibrate Me Baby This technique utilizes what many women think
of as toys... It is a little more difficult and takes a little more muscle,
but you being a big strong man, I know you can do it.. Extra credit on this
one if you wear a black "wife beater" shirt at the same time. Are you man
enough?
Carefully pull the vacuum out of where it has been stored. You know you
want to. Plug it in and push ALL the right buttons. * Slowly move back and
forth and back and forth across the carpet, you will know when to move to a
new spot. Move to the next spot and repeat as long as it takes to get
results (I hear they are graded from A to G so keep it mind as you work away
and head for that G spot!).
Technique #3 : The Wet T Shirt Game This game is pretty easy, although you
will have to think quickly while in the midst of gettin' your game on. If
you can handle the amount of agitation and vibration in the first few
minutes you will be o. k. until the end.
You will need two piles... no I did not say poles, I said piles. Put
everything white and light coloured in one and everything dark coloured in
the other. Fill the washing machine with warm water and laundry soap (this
is imperative... use the amount suggested by the manufacturer).
Add the light pile. Close the lid. Write her a love letter about how great
her eyes are while you are waiting for it to finish. Repeat with the dark
colors except use cold water. Quick note: If your wife is screaming "Yes!
Yes! Yes!" Don't stop what you are doing.. that is called domesticus
interruptus and it really is frustrating for women.
Technique #4: What Goes Up Must Come Down This is best used as the quickie,
whether in the middle of the night or during a chaotic afternoon. She can't
say no to this one. When you put the toilet seat up.... put it back
down... Every time.
I know... I know.. you almost can't take any more verbal titillation.
Good thing this is a short list. This last one is amazing. It is
incredible... it definitely saves the best for last.
You don't have to thank me... no.. really. Good luck all you blokes out
there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
mexican word of the day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x021.html
www-watching wicked women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x022.html
hee hee hee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/x023.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why does Santa have such a big sack?
A. Because he only cums once a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My girlfriend calls me Santa Claus because I only come once a year but when
I do I fill her stockings.
Dozens of art enthusiasts gathered at an important gallery for the
exhibition of a favorite artist. One critic asked the artist how he had
managed to achieve such interesting effects. "It's very simple. I put a
canvas on the floor, dump paint on it and then have two or three nude
beauties slither all over it.
"That must be quite stimulating."
"Not especially, but cleaning the brushes is a kick."
What has one eye, one horn, is purple, flys, and gives the Pope head?
A one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple papal eater.
Q. Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?
A. Because they were originally made for children, but father wants to play
with them.
Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children?
A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the
chimney.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Press Dough - Design your own cookie creations
Make fun, editable art with Press Dough. Take cookie making to a new level
with creating patterns, animals, shapes, and more. All Pieces are dishwasher
safe so clean up is a breeze. Just press, bake and decorate--Eat all the fun
you make.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/presdo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samurai Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new
Chief Samurai Warrior. After a year, only three applied for the job: a
Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly.
He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly
divided in two!
"What a skillful feat!" said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what
you can do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny
box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!*
*Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
"Ah-h-h, that is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top
that, Number three Samurai?"
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing a fly,
drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh!* flourished his sword so mightily
that a gust of wind blew through the room and the fly let out a high pitched
sound. But the fly was still alive and buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that?
The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead, schmead," replied the Jewish Samurai. "Dead is easy. Now,
circumcision .....THAT takes skill!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bare Lifts - Invisible Bra Support
Bare Lifts is the invisible solution to a naturally perky look. Wear them
with any outfit, dress or swimsuit. They give you proper shape and support
and lasts up to 24 hours. Just place, peel, lift and go - it's that simple.
Bare Lifts works on all cup sizes A-D and you can forget spending hundreds
on specialty bras and lift systems.
Buy 1, Get 1 on us - order today.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/lifts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top Ten Signs You've Hired A Bad Department Store Santa
10. He wears the Santa costume all year round
9. Tells salesgirls that "Me & Mrs. Claus have an understanding"
8. After every toy request says "Yeah, right"
7. Tries unsuccessfully to hide the fact that he's wearing handcuffs
6. Charges $5.95 for the first minute, $2.95 each additional minute
5. Every day around 10 A.M. throws up on the down escalator
4. Keeps sending elves out for more vermouth
3. Whether they want it or not, gives every kid a crewcut
2. Keeps reminiscing about his vice presidency under Bill
Clinton
1. He's packin' heat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be Alert, Keep Track!
Get Your Sleep Diary!
Many people suffer sleeping disorders and keeping track of sleeping habits
is the first step in finding a solution! With Quality Health's FREE sleep
diary, being alert and keeping track has never been easier.
Act Now - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's address bar:
http://buffaloschips.com/slpdry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steak Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Cook A Fucking Steak
Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery.
A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you pussy. You
want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally
conscious, go ahead, I don't give a shit, just get a
fucking steak. Ribeye is good. And, yes, bone-in. Schmuck.
Take the steak home. Get a bigass frying pan and put the
shit on the stove, cranking the heat up as far as that
fucker will go. Take a shitload of salt-rocksalt, you dumb
motherfucker, none of that fine-grained crap here-and toss
it around the bottom of the pan. When the pan is hot as
all fuck--it should scorch the shit out of your finger if
you're stupid enough to touch it--put the fucking steak on
there. You can crack some pepper on the top of the steak
as the bottom is searing, but don't even talk to me about
garlic or onion powder or COMPOUND FUCKING BUTTER, asshole.
This is steak, all you fucking need is salt and pepper.
After a bit (3 minutes for pink, 5 for cooked good), flip
that shit over and do the same fucking thing you just did
with the other side, i.e. sit on your ass and wait for
your motherfucking steak to be ready, you useless assbag.
When you're done, sling that shit on a plate. Beringer's
1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes
an absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if
you've taken care to let it breathe a bit before quaffing.
Also, make some fucking potatoes, because that's what you
eat with a fucking steak. God, sometimes I just want to
smack the shit out of you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISH Network, plans from only $24.99/mo + HD for life
w/agreement
1. FREE Upgrade to HD DVR (Record/playback 200 hours, only $5.98/mo)
2. FREE 3 Months HBO & Showtime w/18 + Premium Channels (w/commitment)
3. FREE Dish Remote Access (manage you DVR... anytime, anywhere)
4. FREE Six Room Pro Standard Installation (in as little as 24 hours)
5. FREE activation (up to a $99.00 value)
NFL REDZONE:
What is NFL Zone? Sunday afternoons during the season, NFL RedZone takes
fans from game to game to see all the key moments - as they happen - in HD.
NFL RedZone is the must-have channel for every football fan and the perfect
network for fantasy football.
Only $7.00/mo
DISH Network and DISH Network logos are registered trademarks and/or service
marks of DISH Network L.L.C. The DISH Network trademark and/or service marks
are used by the authority of DISH Network L.L.C. and/or its applicable
affiliate(s).
http://buffaloschips.com/dshtv
First-time DISH Network customers only. This promotion expires and is
subject to change after Jan 31st, 2011.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Child Again
www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/LetMeBe.html
Christmas - Elvis Presley - Jingle Bell Rock Via Peggy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KsCh3x2ylI&feature=related
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
Carolyn w/ Leroy The Redneck Reindeer
http://tinyurl.com/yzt3oov
The Birthday Story
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/TheBirthdayStory.htm
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Holiday Traditions
http://www.californiamall.com/holidaytraditions/
Hangovers and Hangover Cures
http://www.bbc.co.uk/stoke/features/christmas/hangovercures.shtml
Winterize Your Home
http://www.askthebuilder.com/Winterize_Your_Home.shtml
Christmas Quiz
http://biblequizzes.org.uk/real-christmas-quiz.php
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Windows XP Power Toys
http://www.microsoft.com/windowsxp/downloads/powertoys/default.mspx
32 nearby stars
http://kisd.de/~krystian/starmap/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://teacupspuppies.com/
Nanny Animals!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Jamacos
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsdw.htm
Just Walk It ff Sissy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfssd.htm
The Vasectomy Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssss.htm
Kangaroo Court
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsssaw.htm
Kilted Scotsman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsdd.htm
Robbery
http://www.buffaloschips.com/alkqwoie.htm
Roll Over Donner Pass
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdskdjs.htm
Russian Bar Trio
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkldkl.htm
Snow Plow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/laksaoiw.htm
The 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/salksalka.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman's husband dies, and while at the funeral home watching the mortician
prepare her husband for final internment, she asked if he would cut off her
husbands dick for her. The mortician thought this to be an odd request, but
since it was her husband, he complied with her wishes and cut it off and
gave it to her. She wrapped it up and took it home. When she got home, she
pulled out a frying pan, threw some chopped onions, garlic, green peppers,
and some butter into the pan, and started cutting up the dick. Her neighbor
walked in at this point and saw what she was doing, and asked, "What are you
doing with
*that*??!!"
The woman replied, "Hey, for 35 years I ate it his way, now I'm gonna eat it
my way!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
call ahead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/flbjhclgvnbvn.htm
call girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khdjkgdf.htm
call the paramedic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kxgjkxcvgc.htm
calorie1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vgkjdfkgjdfg.htm
camel toe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jcbkfcgbfd.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BedBug Out - Don't Let the Bedbugs BiteReduce Bedbugs and other pests
in as soon as 2 weeks. Rid your home of pests, dust mites and bedbugs
quick and without harmful chemicals.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschips.com/bedbu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With his pecker limp on the floor,
And his wife still imploring for more
"Ten hours of screwing
Has been my undoing,
I simply can't Fuck any more!"
_________________________________
Young Alice is known for her poise
During quiet foreplay with the boys.
But then when she has 'em
At the brink of orgasm,
You can't hear yourself think for the noise.
_________________________________
"When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorous abbot.
"Although it's more fun,
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball
Mesmerize the mind and confuse the senses. Fushigi is an incredible,
therapeutic form of relaxation. The art of maneuvering a clear, reflective
sphere through mind and body isolation and manipulation creates the illusion
that the sphere is moving on its own.
Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/fushi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day an old farmer fell asleep in the top level in a 2 level hay
shed. When he woke up, he found his son having
sex with his girlfriend on the bottom level of the hay shed. He
decided he wouldn't disturb them, so he laid down
and rested. After a while he heard his son say, "Father, father up
above. Give me strength for one last shove."
So the father, being smart, replied, "Son, son down below. Get off
and give your father a go."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elvis Commemorative $2 Bill
Now is your chance to own the Elvis Commemorative $2 Bill, colorized U.S.
legal tender that honors the King of Rock & Roll. It's sure to become one of
the greatest collectibles of all time - a must have for any collector. Each
one comes complete with protective display portfolio and includes an
individually numbered Certificate of Authenticity.
Order now - only 25,000 are being created.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/elvisc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1941
Decorating the Tree Rudy puts an ornament in the tree..
Katie: That is an unusual ornament. What is it?
Rudy: Sigh, it is a piece of the bullet that was removed from me when Toots
and Pops took me into their home and got me fixed up. It is a reminder of
how fortunate I am to have a family, a home.
Sandi hangs an ornament and steps back.
Katie: What is that Sandi?
Sandi: A small piece of driftwood from the lake where you found me. It
reminds of where I came from. I to, am thankfull to have a home, a family.
Val hangs a small heart on the tree and steps back.
Val: I was adopted on Valentine's Day. The heart reminds me of that day, the
day I found my home, my family.
Katie hangs an oddity and steps back.
BJ: What is that Katie?
Katie: It is a cash register receipt from the people who had me before you
guys. They owe me 17.11.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
----------------------------------------------------------
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 9.0.869 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3249 - Release Date: 11/10/10
14:34:00
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment