Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
NAES Lakehurst has sucessfully launched an F-18 Super Hornet
using the Navy's new magnetic launch system. This state of the art
system is being developed for the new generations of carriers and
is capable of propelling aicraft from the flight deck at up to 180 mph.
It will also eliminate miles of steam piping and the steam recievers
and launch valves that are used with catapults allowing the crew to
enjoy more fresh water.
I guess I am in reminiscing mode after watching the crew of the
Harry S. Truman return to Norfolk yesterday. It is awesome
that the Navy got them home before Christmas but for every crew
returning, another crew, 5-6000 people had to say goodbye to
their loved ones.
Today was a much better day than yesterday and I actually got
something accomplished including a little negotiating of my
telephone plan with ATT. I actually got a human in 15 seconds this
time.
As Eva is singing, " WE wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy
Halloween." Hey it's her two favorite holidays and she celebrates
Halloween all year.
Enjoy the chips... buff
A newsletter you may enjoy
Eating-Pointed-Recipes Welcome to Eating Pointed Recipes.
This Group is for anyone who are on Diets and count PointsCalories etc.
We only have a few requirements:
1-Do not sign up unless unless your age is listed in your Profile.
2-Do not post a recipe without Calorie Value or Points.
3-The only recipes that can be posted without Point Value are WW Core.
So please relaxsit back and enjoy.
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Eating-Pointed-Recipes>
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Sign Chips
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TOP FIVE SIGNS CHRISTMAS IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER
1. Seriously? You need a sign?
2. Mrs. Claus starting to work on page 4 of the "honey-do" list
3. The stores are starting to put up their Easter Decorations
4. Elves booking Hawaii time-share vacation
5. Santa yelling out, "I've got a sleigh to catch!"
TOP FIVE SIGNS THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR MAY BE AN ELF
1. Ladder always out by mailbox
2. 3-foot high basketball hoop on garage
3. Has 14 tiny cars in his garage
4. Bumpersticker on car says "Elves Local 1410"
5. Refers to Santa Claus as "A slave driver"
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE NOT GETTING A CHRISTMAS BONUS
1. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips
2. What you call "my new office," everybody else calls "the supply
closet"
3. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under
avalanche of stolen office supplies
4. In your most recent performance evaluation, the word "crap"
appeared 78 times
5. You're the starting quarterback for the Miami Dolphins
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
toystory, what are they looking at?
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Air Force one
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fire hydrant and the dog
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Parrot Chips
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One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking
for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested
a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This
seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young
man asked, excitedly.
"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was
the shop owner's reply.
The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot.
Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner
then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's
tune changed, and the air was filled
with: "Silent Night, Holy Night..."
The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper
and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When
the
wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.
"How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"
"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So
the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's
left
foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle
Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's
right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."
The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What
if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not
know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife.
So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted
his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly
like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an
open fire...."
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Random Chips
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Rectal biopsies are a real pain in the ass
The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office
to tell me the good news: I was being promoted to Vice President of
Corporate Research and Planning. Of course, I was excited, but that
didn't stop me from asking for my new title to be changed to Vice
President of Corporate Planning and Research. "Why?" asked the
chairman. "Because," I said, "our organization uses abbreviated job
titles, and I don't want be known as VP of CRAP."
Gypsies are thought to be lousy loversbecause they have crystal
balls.
Larry gets home late one night and, Linda, his wife says, 'Where in
the hell have you been? 'Larry replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.
''A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get? ''I got
a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly. 'What the
hell were you thinking?! She said, shaking her head in disgust. 'Why
on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill Tattooed on
his privates?' Well, One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once
in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money
feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping,
you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you
want. Larry is recovering in room 232 at the Hospital
Mom took little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.
Doc. said, "How did such a thing happen?" Johnny said, "It's that
damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned sharp."
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Tiger Chips
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Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry.
He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika.. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses,waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."
She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year !!!!!
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Flying Chips
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*A modern romance novella *
He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me
into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were
alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a
low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax." Without
warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands
start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my
calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew
I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so
experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I
gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was
pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my
ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his
hands, I inhaled sharply.
Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands
to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my
panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and
expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge.
A man not used to taking `no' for an answer. A man who would tell
me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say.....
"Okay, ma'am," said a voice. "All done."
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling,
holding out my purse. "You can board your flight now."
Dianne
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Most Wonderful Time
www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/MostWonderful.html
Carolyn w/ Christmas Together ~ Walter Brennan
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/christmastogether.html
Joan w/ A Story To Remember
http://alongpoetryroad.com/story_remember.html
Christmas With Jesus
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ChristmaswithJesus.htm
Unto This Day
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Surfin Surfari
Wreaths Across America
http://wreathsacrossamerica.org/
Proud Of Our Troops 4
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops4.html
Mountain Folk Art
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Amazing Cop Cars 2
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Disney Christmas
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
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Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Christmas Graphics
http://www.christmas-graphics-plus.com/
Christmas Games
http://www.merry-christmas.com/games/
Hyper Gurl
http://www.hypergurl.com/
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Animal World
Miracle Coyote
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Super Puppies
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Movie Links
Scottish Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akdjsi.htm
Sexy Kapper
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Showing Her Boobs On A Catwalk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsewas.htm
Sling Shot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsw.htm
So Funny
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsrewrw.htm
Korean
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Larry The Cable Guy 111
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Love Bird
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Love Hurts
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Megan True Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/klkdl.htm
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Santa Chips
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I believe Santa Claus has to be Gay!
If you're not sure, look at some of these examples:
Christmas is a big, well organized, fully catered,
decorated, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social beverage
deal, and I have a tough time believing a
straight man could possibly pull it all off!
"Fairy lights". What about those over-the-top
decorations? A straight man
cannot even organize a matching shirt and tie!
Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have
time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a
bell all day. But if you're a Gay, out-of-work Actor/ Dancer/Waiter,
it's the perfect gig until you get your big break.
Also, if Santa was straight, he would have picked
an animal much more masculine than the reindeer
to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the
reindeer just happen to appeal to Santa's inherent
sense of grace and beauty.
Speaking of masculine, my dear, what about those
names for the reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
Vixen? You fill in the blanks.
Mrs. Claus has been married to him for eons yet he's
never ever fathered a child with her. She's over-weight
and still content. Why I hear you ask? Can you say "Fag-hag"?
Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's Gay too!
Come on, you have thought about it too. "All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join
in
any reindeer games." As if he wanted to. Besides, isn't Rudolph
really only a metaphor for the Gay child living in a straight
society
anyway?
Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert
at Christmas time? Well, now you know. And stop
pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've
always liked fruitcake.
Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one-night trip!
And his outfit?? Red velvet with a white, fur collar?
Black, knee high boots and a thick black patent leather
belt. Just the attire all straight men rush to buy!
Darling, just think about it!!! Physically, he's a dream
come true for the Chubby Chaser Club and the perfect
"Bear" poster child.
Also, with his love of giving gifts, Santa's the perfect
Sugar Daddy for all those old sad aging queens who
don't like to work!
Which straight man has ever thought of using
"stockings" to hide their candy?
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Toon Chips
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cat evil art form
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cat pack
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cat porn
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cat sleigh
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cat catch up
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Limerick Chips
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An old little man named Joe Spiving
Was arrested for drinking and driving.
The cop said, "Don't you think
That you might spill your drink
And get stains on your new leather lining?"
There was a young engineer named Miss Holt,
Who had an assistant as spry as a Colt.
When she asked for a screw,
What did the young man do,
But offer her two nuts and a bolt.
An opera tenor in Rio
Had vocal cords where he did pee-o.
As he jerked on his dong
It broke into a song,
Most notably, "O Solo Mio."
When a corpulent spinster named Snow
Was approached by a dwarf for a blow,
She replied, "I have pride!
Your request is denied!
I could never, sir, stoop quite that low!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
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Blonde Christmas Story
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching
for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few
close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and
said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether
it's decorated or not!"
Dear Diary,
I was reminded today just how awful my wife's cooking was when we
were first married. Yes, it's cliché but it's true. It was so bad
that I teased her relentlessly. Recently, after an exceptionally
exquisite meal, I put my fork down and asked her to what she
attributed her acquired culinary mastery. She smiled a warm smile
and
looked at me as if I were an angel of light delivering divine
revelation. "Well," she said as her voice took on an ethereal
grace, "I believe it is a reflection of my heart. That the joy and
love I feel are manifested in my cooking, in my gardening, in our
children, in everything! I believe all things in life turn out well
if they are done soulfully and honestly." "Damn, baby," I said, my
head awhirl at the thoughts and sounds from the woman next to
me. "I'm going to call that shrink of yours and tell him he has
finally nailed the combination of Prozac, Lithium and Paxil!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avandia shown to cause heart attacks and heart related injuries.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1948
Christmas Cards
BJ whispering to Diana: Look at these Christmas cards Rudy made.
You know how hard he worked with his mechanical thumb and how hard he worked
in school a few years ago to learn to write and such.
Diana: Yes. Is it okay if we read them?
BJ: I don't think he would mind. The first one is to Sandi. It reads:
Deer Sandi, I ain't much of a poit, but I will try.
Christmas wood not be nutin without you.
Christmas wood just be colored blu.
I cain't think of much to say, xcept I love you.
Merry Christmas, Your Rudy.
Diana: I think that is precious and sweet. Should we tell him about his
spelling errors?
BJ: Not on your life. He wrote it and we leave it the way it is.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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