Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From the archives
It's one of those sleepy mornings, sitting alone reading my email and
watching AC-DC's Ten Greatest Hits on VH-1 when a cartoon about fruitcakes
came through and whisked me back to my youth and Christmas goodies.
With 10 kids in the family my mom became an expert baker quickly and she
absolutely outdid herself at Christmastime. There was usually four or five
different types of fruitcakes, of both the baked and no-bake variety already
made and sitting in the freezer or in her bedroom which was off-limits for
months before Christmas. These were not as stories of fruitcake go as hard
as a rock with the pieces of candied fruit like crystals, these were moist
with enough character to keep them from falling apart and you could taste
each piece of fruit, raisins, and red and green cherries and of course
walnuts.
With the size of our family cookie recipes that said makes 3 dozen never
worked real well. We could wipe the first three dozen out before they had
time to cool so my mom would quadruple the recipe and work on them while we
were in school and in bed so they wouldn't get eaten before she was done. I
remember seeing shopping bags full of sugar cookies coming home from school
and the next morning they would be frosted and packed in large tins. My
favorites were the drop cookies with candies, jams and nuts on the inside.
Then there was the bar cookies like cherry nut bars and of course at least
four different flavors of fudge and different candies.
I figure it would be one of the thing that I would miss most when I joined
the navy but each year I got a box from home and even the one that came in
looking like they had used it for high-altitude bombing was delicious and we
sat in the lounge and pigged out on cookie and candy crumbs. When I got
married, the care packages stopped, which I can understand because Sandy is
an excellent cook but my brother's wife could cook too and he still got
packages each year. My mom always liked him better anyhow heh heh.
Enjoy the chips and have some fruitcake preferably infused with rum or
brandy and to heck with what everyone says...... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
Friends Luvin' Each Other We are a group of online friends who have come
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Random Chips
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As an English major, I'm always amused by foreigners who don't speak the
language very well. For example, when a Parisian hooker once wanted to
applaud me for my performance, she said, "I give you clap."
?
Bill gets a call from his buddy Doug one day, and Doug is on the phone
crying. Bill asks, "Doug, what's wrong? You sound really upset." "Well,"
replies Doug, "my wife's been cheatin' on me." "With who?" asks Bill. "The
neighbor," replies Doug. "That damn dirty slut!" says Bill. "Yeah," replies
Doug, "you think I was upset, you should've heard how upset the neighbor's
husband was."
?
Men aren't attracted to me by my mind. They're attracted to me by what I
don't mind. (Gypsy Rose Lee)
?
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and
female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. Male reindeer drop
their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to
mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give
birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition
depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to
Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known.only women would be able to
drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and
not get lost.
?
Tiger's Philosophy: A man needs mistresses just to break the monogamy. (Stan
Kegel)
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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When my neighbor proudly told me he was surprising his new wife with a
horse for Christmas, I asked what kind of horses she liked to ride.
He said he wasn't sure, but she could probably ride about anything since
she had worked several years at the Mustang Ranch in Nevada.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Shirley: Did you manage to find Janie a date for the
Christmas party?
Delores: Oh, yeah! It was no problem. I just told the guy that she was like
that 10-10-220-phone service commercial: Easy AND cheap!
~~~~~~~~~~
It was New Year's eve
. A mother was busy making pies and the like for the big dinner when the
phone rang. She answered it.
"Mom, it's me," the voice on the other end said. "I am down at the bus
station. Will you come and pick me up?"
The woman couldn't figure out what had happened that one of her 3 sons
would arrive on the bus, so she asked him, "Who is this?"
The young man answered, "It's me, Mom, Joe."
The woman replied, "Oh, dear, I'm sorry, I'm afraid you have the wrong
Mother."
~~~~~~~~~~
An alarm clock is a small device used to wake up people who have no children
at home.
Tom
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Time Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Virginia State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
When he carefully approaches the car to get a closer look, he sees a young
man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.
He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her
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Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and
gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer'?
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing'?
The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine'.
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And
her, what is she doing'?
The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails'.
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at
night in a lover's lane . ... And nothing obscene is happening!
The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man'?
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir'.
The trooper asks: 'And her, .... what's her age'?
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes
and 22 seconds.'
Rob
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Random Chips
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Have you heard about the fellow who had syphilis, gonorrhea, AIDS
and herpes? He was an incurable romantic. (Richard Lederer)
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told
that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was
to mess with the men. It wasn't until four weeks later that someone
finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
Scientific studies have proven diaphragm contractions can cause
hiccoughs or pregnancies depending on their location. (Stan Kegel)
Saw a commercial for Cialis. The end of the commercials always have
some "warnings" about using it. One of their warnings stated
something like 'erections lasting more than 4 hours may need
immediate medical attention'. I can see this guy going to an
emergency room and saying "I've got a hard on that won't go away!"
"Well sir, would you like to see a doctor?" "No, maybe a nurse or
two."
Now that female athletes are earning fortunes, lots of poor guys
dream of marrying one. They'd like to come into money. (Charles
Wukasch)
It was really something else, man!" said the cadet policeman to his
partner. "When I was off duty Saturday night, I went to this big
party, see, and pretty soon I noticed this fabulous little bird
giving me the eye. Then she asked me to take her home. And just as
soon as we were in the car, she unzipped me and went right down on
the old fella - and I still didn't even know her name." "So what did
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situation where I'd shoot first and ask questions afterward."
Stan Kegel
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Job Chips
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To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind
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1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder
to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is
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3. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the
river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have
a Happy Holiday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Most Wonderful Time
www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Christmas/MostWonderful.html
A Childs Christmas Prayer
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Fun With Snow In Russia!
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Maxine On Jesus!
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My Gift To You
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I'll Be Home For Christmas
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Never Enough Lights - Links Via Wesley
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Bailey's Jesus
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God's Little Love Notes
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Proud Of Our Troops 3
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Christmas Midis
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Defrag
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marine Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas In The Corps
T'was the night before Christmas
and all the the Corps
Not a sole had liberty,
the troops were all sore.
Yes, every Marine
every Marine in the lot
was lying on a rack of nails
called a Marine Corps Cot.
When out on the Parade Deck
I heard such a clatter,
I sprang from my cot
to see what the hell was the matter.
With bayonet in hand
I moved stealthily to the door
I cautiously waited to see
if there were more.
Yes, it was the Commandant of Marines
this there was no doubt
he was wearing his poncho
green side out.
He carefully moved from rack to rack
he cautiously inspected each rifle and pack
to a chosen few a 96 chit
but to the majority a ration of s*it
As he pulled away in his gold plated tank
pulled by ten colonels all bucking for rank
I heard him say, and he said with a shot
Merry Christmas you *uckers you'll never get out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Not Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twas the night before Christmas
And naughty girl I
Went to offer my Santa
Some sweet honey pie
I knew he couldn't
Resist this sweet treat
I know for a fact
Tis his fave thing to eat
So I put on my stockings
My heels and my lipstick
And asked him to show me
Where he keeps his dipstick.
I went down on my knees
And unzipped his fly
Then sucked his cock down
In the blink of an eye.
He moaned and he whimpered
As my tongue stroked his sac
He said this is better than all
The toys in my pack!
His hands held my head
As I continued to blow
Then he laid me down quickly
And put his tongue down below
He was sure and so lively
He made me scream and then beg
As he sucked on my clit
And pinned down my legs.
You're mine, you bad girl
He said with a spank
Then rolled me onto my stomach
Deep inside me he sank
He rode me so hard
I knew when he came
Because he panted, then shouted
And called me by name.
He fucked me all night
And without any warning
He tied me to the bed
And shagged me til morning.
I am sure that the rest
Of the story is clear
You and I will be renting
That suit again next year!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil
appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1949
Christmas Cards Continued
?
BJ: Here is another one Rudy wrote. This one is to Val.
It goes:
Val, you are my many thangs. We play together and run together. You are like
my son except you are a goil. I looked after you like a fadder. I tried to
raise you like you where my on. So I rite you this poit for you.
Val on Christmas day you make me shine Lik the moon and the stars and the
dew.
I guess in my own silly way I am trying to say thanks for coming into my lif
and being like a dauter I never had and friend. So wid this poit that never
rymed, I wish you a merry Christmas, our firsted one together.
You daddy Rudy Diana: That one made me cry.
The herd <!--.style1 {font-size:x-small}-->
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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