THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"There is only one you for all time.
Fearlessly be yourself."
Anthony Rapp
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Thought I'd better warn you.
I Just got scammed out of $25.
I bought a Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes."
Turns out it's about golf ! Absolute waste of money.
Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
I was leafing through one of my hunting
magazines when a unique add caught my eye
it was featuring camouflague toilet seats.
Jokingly, I pointed it out to my wife.
She seriously looked at me and said,
"You're kidding."
And then the war department replied.
"Ya, then you would have an excuse for
when you miss."
Damn woman.
Go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y006.html
scary santa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y007.html
incence
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y008.html
urinal poster
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y009.html
an eco urinal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y010.html
no wonder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y011.html
beach voyeurism
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y013.html
an hour
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y014.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
hospitals abroad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/547.html
the donkey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/548.html
holiday cheer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/549.html
_________________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
a man's Christmas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd549.html
A Polite Way to Call Someone a Bastard –
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first
hole when a second golfer approached and asked
if he could join him The first said that he
usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes. The
second guy said, "We're about evenly matched,
how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The
first guy said that he wasn't much for betting,
but agreed to the terms.The second guy won the
remaining sixteen holes with ease.As they were
walking off number eighteen, the second guy was
busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he
was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to
pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that
he was the Parish Priest.The pro was flustered
and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I
was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make
it up to you?"The Priest said, "Well, you could
come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And,
if you want to bring your mother and father along,
I'll marry them.
______________
Two blondes decided that this Christmas they
wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they
drove two hours into the country and walked
deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas
tree. They had planned the trip well, especially
considering that they were blond. They were
dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats.
They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect
the tree and rope to drag it back to their
car. Every detail was covered.
They searched and searched. They had gone to all
this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would
do. They searched for hours through knee deep
snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later
with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says
to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I
give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees
out here. Let's just pick
one whether it's decorated or not!"
_________________
An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly
she had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag
and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors
later, a gentleman got on the elevator.
He began to sniff...
The Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?"
"Well, yes I do," he replied.
"What does it smell like?"
The bemused gentleman answered, "I'm not sure, but
it kinda smells like someone shit in a pine tree."
________
Night afo' Crizzmus
Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our stimlus checks.
All of da family, was layin' on da flo',
my sister wif her gurlfriend, my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".
I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,
On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sheet?
Dat Santy didn't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',
an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch...he don did dis befo!"
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo' he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit!
Why Boating Accidents Happen
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/03040667.htm
Blow Fish
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/03050601.htm
Banapptit
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/03050602.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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