THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
If you would be a real seeker after truth,
it is necessary that at least once in your life
you doubt, as far as possible, all things.
Rene Descartes
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Just a little advice today...
Those of you that are on your meds....please continue
The rest of you that have stopped takin your meds
Please see your pharmacist ..............
If you "smoke" your meds...........ummmmmm
make sure you have your permit updated
Now listen, I got a really cool introduction
to give for today...so, uh,.......dang,
I forgot what I was goin to say ......
Whatever...all I know is....I got the munchies
Hand me a potato chip, will ya?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
out fishin one day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u001.html
the fan fell
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u002.html
holy shit!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u003.html
amazing what u can get on the internet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u004.html
wanna see what hell is like?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u005.html
Helda goes to the anger management group
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u006.html
Honey did you let the cat in last night?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u007.html
over analyzing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u008.html
near the ocean
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u009.html
wonder if thats kinda like an std??
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u010.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
MRS MAC'S - Lean Meat Crusty Top
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/339.html
helicopter crash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/340.html
getting off the elevator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/341.html
Airforce 1
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/342.html
golf/you won't ever see that again
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/343.html
History exam/coca cola
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/344.html
light bulbs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/345.html
_______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
A very old city from the 1950s
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd489.html
Dallas cowbows cheerleaders
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd490.html
to my friends...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd491.html
__________________
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain
all summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN,and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be,
that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears
on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they
sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'ACORN stages
a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news
stations film the group singing, We shall overcome.
Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray
for the grasshopper's sake. President Obama condemns the ant
and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher
Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight. Nancy
Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make
him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic
Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of
the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number
of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government GreenCzar
and given to the grasshopper.The story ends as we see the grasshopper
and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the
ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you
recall, just happens to be the ant's old house,crumbles around
them because the grasshopperdoesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident,
and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of
spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful,
neighborhood. The entire Nation collapses
bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010
________________
A ventriloquist is walking in the country, when he
comes upon a farmer and his dog standing at the
side of the road. He stops and they exchange greetings.
The ventriloquist is bored from walking alone for so
long, so he decides to have a little fun with the farmer.
"Would you mind if I spoke with your dog?" he asks the farmer.
"Are you stupid or somethin'?" the farmer says
incredulously, "Dogs can't talk!"
"Well, I'll give it a shot anyway," the ventriloquist replies.
He bends down by the dog and says, "How ya doin' there,
dog?" He then does the voice of the dog without moving
his lips and says "Oh, I'm doin' fine."
The farmer is flabbergasted. The ventriloquist proceeds
to have a pretend conversation with the dog, asking him
how the farmer treats him, where they go for walks, etc.
When he's finished, they walk up the path to the farm
and go to the stables.
"Mind if I talk to your horse?" the ventriloquist asks.
"You can talk to horses, too? Well, shoot, I guess I
don't mind..." answers the farmer.
Again, the ventriloquist has a conversation with the
animal, asking him how often the farmer takes him out
riding, how often he is fed, etc. Then they walk out of
the stable towards the fields. The ventriloquist spies
a herd of sheep in the pasture.
"Mind if I talk to your sheep?" he asks.
The farmer turns bright red and stammers, "Them sheep
ain't nothing but liars, every single one of 'em!!!"
_____________
A pair of stage-door Johnnies are ogling the cuties who
are leaving the dressing room. "Do you see that redhead
over there? I feel like banging her again."
"Wow," said his buddy, "Do you mean to tell me you've
been doing it with that great looking broad?"
"No, I felt like it before, and I feel like it now.
______________
A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds
his way to a bar stool and orders a drink
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender
in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you Wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls deathly quiet. In a deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that
joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are
blind, that you should know five things:
One: The bartender is a blonde woman.
Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.
Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a
professional boxer.
Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200-pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a
black belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!
Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to
tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says:
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
______________
George Bush and Barack Obama at the barbershop . . .
George Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber,
Not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a
Conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in
His chair reached for the aftershave.
Obama was quick to stop him
Saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that
and think I've been in a whore house.'
The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you sir?'
Bush replied, 'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a
Whore house smells like.'
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Beer By the Pool
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91106.htm
How To Put On a Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91107.htm
Knife Guy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91108.htm
Ladder
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91109.htm
_____________
FUN PAGES
M&M Empire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38557&s=n
Time Racing
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41611&s=n
Beans in Space
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39813&s=n
Fitz
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41719&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM
MARTIN AKA THE POSTMAN
__._,_.___
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