Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Cool, rainy, afternoon in the Great White North, it only got up to about
45 today. Must have had some wind last night because there are more
leaves on the ground than on the trees. Took a quick drive to get soda
today and got off the main drag and there are a lot of people out there
doing a great job at celebrating fall and Halloween. Judging by the size
and number of pumpkins spread around town, it must have been a good
growing season because there are quite a few yards with 50 or so pumpkins
out as decorations and at 4.00 each that could be quite a chunk of change
for something that will rot before Halloween if we catch a warm spell like
last year. Buffy wanted to know if she should pick up candy last week and
I told her no. Around here if you buy it, it will get eaten and replaced
several
times before the trick or treaters get here and I would like to continue
with my weight loss.
Today I am trying plain text in my email to see if that helps the link
problem.
If you are still having problems with toons or movies in today's newsletter
drop me a note and tell me which ones have problems and hopefully we
will have this straightened out before the new movies go up.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
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Get laughs and loads of diversified posts,
Something for everyone's interest.
This is an adult group but
You will not be assaulted with graphic nudity or porn.
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Random Chips
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If your wife tells you sex is a 'pain in the ass', turn her over.
What bracha (Hebrew prayer) does one say before taking the Viagra
pill? There is a choice of 3 blessings:
1. Boruch Atah HaShem zokeif k'fuffim - bless you God for
straightening those who are bent*
2. Ya'aleh v'yavo - arise and come*
3. Boruch Atah HaShem mechayei hameitim - bless you God for
raising the dead.
The Scottish farmer thought he'd caught a nasty STD. But it turns
out he was just allergic to wool.
A man walks into his doctors. The doctor asks the man why he is
there.
He replies, "It's my penis, I would like you to take a look at it."
The doctor says, "Very well then, if you get up onto the bed and get
it out I'll have a look for you." The man jumps up onto the bed and
produces a 12-incher from his underpants. After about five minutes
examining it, the bemused doctor says, "I have to say, I can't see
anything wrong with it." To which the man replies, "I know, it's a
fucking beauty, eh?!"
Men are like..... Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around,
then you're riding it.
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Storm Chips
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It was a terrible night, blowing cold and snow in a most
frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker
was just about to close up shop when a little Jewish man slipped
through the door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and
was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so he
still looked wet, freezing, and bedraggled.
As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, "May I have two
poppy seed bagels to go, please?"
The baker said in astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"
"That's right," answered the little man. "One for me and one for
Sherry."
"Sherry is your wife?" Asked the baker.
"What do you think," snapped the little man, "my mother would
send me out on a night like this?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.
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Short Chips
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Mary: I went shopping for bras this weekend. How depressing! I
wanted one with good support.
Jill: Have you tried under wire?
Mary: Yes, Ma'am! Unfortunately, I have graduated to steel girders!
Wife: Okay, today's Friday. Where's your pay envelope?
Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house.
Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $480?
Man: Eight rounds of drinks.
Mary: I knew right away he was a loser.
Jill: How did you know so fast?
Mary: He said he could give me "multiple organisms."
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30 feet away. Its weatherproof and solar powered.
Learn More
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Tight Chips
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One time when I was visiting Toronto I asked a chap where I could find a
good house of ill repute. He gave me an address and said to ask for Sally. I
went to the address and requested Sally. She took me to a room, stripped
down and said, "Go ahead, but let me know how it is." After a few minutes I
said, "It's not bad but a bit loose." She said, "Get off for a moment." I
did that and she reached down and fiddled about with her privates. "Try it
now." she said. I did and found it better but still a bit loose, so I told
her so. She repeated her actions and when I tried it again it was perfect.
When we were finished and I was paying her I asked, "How do you manage to
adjust it's size to fit anyone?" "Well," she said, "I've been in this
business for some time and have developed warts on one side and wormholes on
the other. I just button them up."
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Chips
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HIP REPLACEMENT RECALL CENTER
Thousands of Hips have been recalled due to failure!
If you or a loved one have used this product and experienced adverse
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Follow here and get a Free Private Case Evaluation:
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/If You Ever Have Forever
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Fr.htm
Carolyn w/ Stuart Hamblin
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Videos/stuarthamblin.html
Today She Cried
http://www.carolspoetry.com/shecried.html
Life's Little Oops 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops5.html
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
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Surfin Surfari
Ginny's Gourds Awards Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/27hnn6r
Are You On A Homeland Security Watch List
http://www.tsa.dhs.gov/travelers/customer/redress/index.shtm
Strange Tombstones!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tombstones.html
Woman's Dream
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woman.html
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Total Commander
http://www.ghisler.com/
FOR: MONSTER, October, Owl...
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_k-o.html
FOR: Harry POTTER, PREHISTORIC, SCOOBY-DOO, TRICKorTREAT...
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html
FOR: VAMPIRE, VULTURE, WITCH, WOLF, WORDS:Boo, WORDS:Hallo(ween)
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html
Webshots
http://www.webshots.com/
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Kitty Korner
http://www.petsinclothes.com/
World's Largest Rodent
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/caplin.html
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files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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Movie Links
Movie Links
Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm
Dead or Alive Holly Vance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghy.htm
James David Manning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjik.htm
Jeff Dunham Achmed the Dead
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdes.htm
Jeff Dunham & Bubba
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asded.htm
High Power Worker
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfrde.htm
High Speed Web Cam
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghjuyuh.htm
Hillary Wasn't Lying Bosnia Gunfire Footage
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gnbhghg.htm
Home Alone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gkjjkk.htm
Home Security
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfdrdft.htm
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Random Chips
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(#18, my fav)
Random Thoughts for the Day:
1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly
involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
4. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.
5. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how
did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or
message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are
soft.
6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
7. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger
and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when
I first saw it.
8. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
9. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
10. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
11. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying
to finish a text.
12. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to
the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
13. Was learning cursive really necessary?
14. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing
else to say".
15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
16. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street
smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay
strong, brothers!
19. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
20. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
21. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.
22. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in
the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
23. Bad decisions make good stories
24. Is it just me or do high school girls get trampier every year?
25. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.
26. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing
anything productive for the rest of the day.
27. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I
don't want to have to restart my collection.
28. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for
China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly
certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
29. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
30. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal
cruising speed for pedophiles...
31. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always
hate cyclists. (That's okay. They hate you too.)
32. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
33. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
34. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket, finding their cellphone, and Pinning the Tail
on the Donkey - but I bet anyone can find and push the Snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...
35. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day - "Dad what
would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to
that?
36. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
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Toon Chips
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Amish gas sign
http://www.buffaloschips.com/43ui.htm
Amish Mechanic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2ddw.htm
Amish Viagra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/983u.htm
An Alien on the moon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qr3.htm
Anal sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/390.htm
Analist
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2ew.htm
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a man named Roy
Who screwed a hot gal named Joy.
When he came, he did stop,
And while lying on top
Said, "I'm over come with Joy."
(Kirk Miller)
A Certain Sweet Girl From Key West
Was Uncommonly Large In The Chest
Any Man's Close Attention
To Her Outside Dimension
Brought His Own Measurement To Its Best
Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.
<snaged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Sister
Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they
know and what they are used for.
*
The first pupil said: 'Tylenol?' 'Very good! And what is it used
for?' 'It is used for a headache.'
*
The second pupil said: 'Nytol.' 'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine.
'And what it is used for?' 'To help you sleep', replied the student.
*
Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.' 'And what is it used
for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister catherine. 'It is used for
diarrhea.' 'And who told you this, Johnny?' 'Nobody, but every
evening my mother tells my father 'take a viagra, and maybe that
shit will get harder.''
*
Sister Catherine fainted.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1897
Let's Hang On
Diana: Everyone in the van.
Rudy: Where are we going?
BJ: I have tickets to see the original singers from the Jersey Boys.
Val: Are they cows?
Sandi: I think they are from a broadway musical and sing
songs from a group called The Four Seasons.
Katie: Kool, winter, summer, spring and fall, I like them all.
BJ: This is the music I listen to when I was young.
Katie: Do I need to write this down?
Diana: Of course when we were young, it was a long time ago.
Rudy: Did they have TV back then?
BJ: It was before HDTV, before CD's, before DVD's.
Katie: Oh, how primitive.
To be continued
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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