THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Hope is the only good that is common to all men;
those who have nothing else possess hope still.
Thales
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
In years gone by, I've always made an attempt
to keep the trees trimmed on my property, especially
since the neighborhood is older and they get to be a
pretty good size. However, as I get older my self, I
find it a little more and more difficult to trim, and
etc. And yesterday, I looked out the back door because
my attention focused on the strong wind outside. It
knocked down a rather large, rotten branch of the walnut
tree, which is in the far corner of my lot.
And it lay in the alley, blocking my driveway.
Fortunately, neither of the cars was parked in the
drive. and a little while later, a passerby came through.
He picked the branch up and threw it out of the way,
and onto the property of the neighbors, even tho it was
actually from my tree. If I am lucky, the neighbor will
take care of it. Or, maybe the neighbor will throw it
back:) Or should I be honest and go over and drag it
back on to my property myself? Ah decisions decisions.
We do hope you enjoy today's issues!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________
THE COMICS
why are you pissed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u021.html
pardon me sir
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u022.html
trick or treat?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u023.html
superman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u024.html
going to bed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u025.html
file import
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u026.html
handbrakes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u027.html
not too far
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u028.html
tv shows for kids
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u029.html
Rodney
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u030.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
a dress code
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/352.html
cold and refreshing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/353.html
young lovers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/354.html
the slowest quickee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/355.html
Willie Nelson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/356.html
unbelievable building demolition
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/358.html
how not to play dead
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/359.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
stunning wall art
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd495.html
top five men of the year
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd496.html
do you really like the big mac?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd497.html
A man walked into a drugstore looking for a card.
"I'm looking for a really special greeting card,"
he said to the druggist behind the counter.
"I think I have just the thing," said the druggist.
He came out from behind the counter and walked over
to the racks of greeting cards. The man followed.
"Here it is," the pharmacist said, pulling out a card.
"It says, 'Words cannot describe how much I love you,
my sweetheart. You'll always be my one and only true love.'"
"That's perfect!" the man said. "I'll take three of those cards."
___________
During a coup attempt by a number of rebellious nobles,
King George I had a huge mahogany rack constructed to
punish the leaders of the uprising. His advisors
transported the rack to the upcoming battle site, at a
precipice overlooking the valley containing the enemy
encampment, by renting forty pachyderms and hiring an
African engineer with reputed expertise in harnessing the
huge beasts for productive labor.
Unfortunately, shortly after their arrival at the scene,
the elephants stampeded, carrying the ramp with the African
on it tumbling down the hill, rolling over the opposition
and virtually destroying it.
One of the survivors painfully cried out, "What in creation was that?"
An anguished companion stammered, "I'm not sure, but it
looked like a rambling rack from George's attack and an
elephant engineer."
_______________
Said the sergeant in the recruiting office, "what's your name?"
"McCoy, sergeant."
"And what was your civvy job?"
"I was a cork socker, sergeant."
"A cork socker? What's that?"
"Well, I worked in a winery, see, and my job was to put the
pretty paper over the corks in the wine bottles.
A cork socker, they called me."
"Okay," said the sergeant, "through that door there and
see the medical officer. "Next!" The next bloke fronted up.
"Name?" asked the sergeant. "McCoy, sergeant." "Another
McCoy! And what was your civvy job?"
"I was a coke soaker, sergeant."
"A coke soaker? What's that?"
"Well I worked in the foundry, see, and it was my job to
keep the coke damp so it burned hotter.
A coke soaker they called me."
"Okay," said the sergeant, "through that door there and
see the medical officer. "Next!" The next bloke fronted up.
"Name?" asked the sergeant. "McCoy, sergeant."
"Not another McCoy! And what was your civvy job?"
"I was a sock tucker, sergeant."
"A sock tucker? What's that?"
"Well, I worked in a sock factory, and when the socks
came off the production line I had to fold them neatly
and tuck them together. A sock tucker, they called me."
"Okay," said the sergeant, "through that door there
and see the medical officer. "Next!" The next bloke fronted up.
"Name?" asked the sergeant. "McCoy, sergeant."
"Not another one!" the sergeant groaned. "And what the
hell are you lad? A coke soaker, a cork socker or a sock tucker?"
"None of those sweetie," lisped the bloke. "I'm the real McCoy!"
______________
The congregation for a Westchester synagogue was interviewing for a
new Rabbi. The best candidate turned out to be the first Japanese
rabbi they ever met, so, they offered him the position on a one-year
trial basis.
At the end of the year, the hiring committee met with Rabbi Naknamura
and informed him that they were not going to renew his contract.
The Rabbi was surprised and disappointed by this turn of events.
He asked, "Would you tell me what my deficiencies were so that I may
correct them? Was it my sermons?"
The committee assured him that his sermons moved the entire
congregation to tears or lifted them to the heights of rapture. His
sermons were the best they ever heard.
"Was it that I was not friendly enough, not approachable enough, then?"
No, he was told, no rabbi they had ever had had been so diligent in
seeking out every family of the congregation. No, he was very
approachable and friendly he was told.
"Was my singing at the services not good enough, then?"
He was assured that he had a wonderful voice and they were delighted with it.
"Well," he asked puzzled, "how was I deficient, then?"
The chairman of the committee looks a little uncomfortable as he
said, "It was your manner of conducting a bris. Our congregation just
isn't ready for you to shout out 'Bonzai' as you circumcise."
______________
Boudreaux was out in da field talkin' wit his frien Thibodeaux.
Thibodeaux said, "Boudreaux , you see dat ole barn out dere? Well
man, its completely infestered wit' rats. I tried everything I know
an' can't get rid of dem."
Boudreaux say, "Thibodeaux, I know zactly how to get rid of dem rats.
You gotta get you one of dem bull constriptors."
Thibodeaux say, "Whats a bull constriptor?"
Boudreaux explains, "Man. Dats one of dem big ole snakes and he loves
to eat rats and swallers dem whole, all at once."
Well, da nex' day Thibodeaux went down to Kliberts reptile farm and
bought him da biggest bull constripter dat dey got.
He brought dat snake to da barn an let him loose right in da middle
and just sat dere and watched.
Well, Thibodeaux was watchin' for a long time, I mean long, an dere
wasn't nuttin' happenin'. Dat big o le snake jus curled up hiself in
da middle of dat barn and slept all day. He didn't even move and dem
rats jus run all around.
Thibodeaux got real frustrated and he called up Boudreaux on da
phone, "Boudreaux, man dats some bad advice bout dat snake. Dem rats
is still runnin' al around an' dat snake jus lays dere sleepin' all
day long."
Boudreaux say, "Man, Thibodeaux, I know just what to do. Give dat
snake some Viagra."
Thibodeaux say, "What! Viagra! What's dat gonna do?"
Boudreaux say, "I was just listening to da radio and de man say dat
Viagra is da best t'ing to use for a reptile dysfunction.
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Ride a Fat Boy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42513.htm
Bum Fuck Egypt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42514.htm
Good Spanking
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42515.htm
No screwing in public restrooms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42516.htm
____________
FUN PAGES
Split a Starfish
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42217&s=n
Dentist Electric Chair
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=34739&s=n
Frog Teeth
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42242&s=n
Headless Cockroach
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42231&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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