Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It's another Monday and even though I had a few complaints about
broken toons yesterday the bandwidth was up where it should be again
so it looks like for right now the chips will be staying as plain text.
I had a great weekend of football beginning with MSU beating Illinois
and Ohio State losing to Wisconsin. We don't play Ohio State this year
but we did beat Wisconsin already so that's as good as beating Ohio State.
Anyhow with Alabama losing last weekend that puts us as number 7 in
the rankings with 5 more games to play against a tough schedule. I would
like to see MSU play Oregon in the BCS Championship but it is a little
early to predict that, but either way it is good football. I got caught
napping
by my daughter during the game and she said I was snoring but when
the crowd started cheering and the Fight Song started I woke up humming
it in time to see the replay of the touchdown.
Sunday I watched another great Lions game. once again they didn't win
but they did score first and gave the Giants a good run for their money
scoring touchdowns against the number one defense in the country. If
they just can stop having 10 plus penalties a game or at least try not
to be so blatant about it.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A Newsletter You My Enjoy
Echoes from the Past: A Sagerose Publication
"Free Weekly Newsletter"
"Western History, Sagebrush Inspirations
and Other Things"
http://www.rtconnect.net/~rosiec/news.htm
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Wilford went to the doctor for constipation. He explained to the doc that it
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you were with the directions on that laxative."
Doc said," I glad you are feeling better. So, you made it just fine to the
toilet?"
"No, explained Wilford, you were 3 feet short."
Randy
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Short Chips
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The Rabbi has a very good looking young protege who is his constant
companion and student. One day the Rabbi tells the protege: Go to the East
corner of the room and play with yourself. Of course, the youngster
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A young mother came to an OB-GYN clinic for a scheduled appointment
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Stan Kegel
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Job Chips
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My Daddy, The Dancer :
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for
a living.
All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman..
so forth..
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the
teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic
dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men
and they put money in his underwear.
Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and
stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside to ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and
helped to get Obama elected, but it's just too embarrassing to say that in
front of the other kids.
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Police Chips
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Interpreting A Police Report
What the report SAID (1), What the report MEANT (2)
(1) While on routine patrol...
(2) I was in the car because the coffee shop was
closed.
(1) The motorist was operating his vehicle in a
reckless manner.
(2) He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN-
DON'T FEED THE PIGS"
(1) The accident scene and the safety of the victims
prevented this officer from doing traffic
control.
(2) It was raining.
(1) This officer went out-of-service to obtain
intelligence information from a street
informant.
(2) It was too hot to ride in the car.
(1) I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious
manner...
(2) The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked
by.
(1) Knowing the suspect had a criminal history...
(2) He puked on my uniform one night...
(1) The informant is of known credibility and has
provided reliable information in the past...
(2) I've got two theft cases hanging over his
head...
(1) While being arrested, this subject resisted
arrest, and was injured in the act...
(2) He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirrored
sunglasses...
(1) The motorist was cited for multiple traffic
violations...
(2) I wrote one citation for each swearword he
used...
(1) Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a
voice from inside the house say "Come in" so
this writer entered through the door...
(2) The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have
heard Patton's army so I kicked in the door.
(1) The members of the press at the scene were
offered every courtesy within departmental
policies...
(2) I sent then to a non-existent address which I
called the "Command Post."
(1) I gave the motorist a verbal warning for
speeding...
(2) She was a good-looking blonde who owned a
liquor store and who was free after my shift was
over.
(1) The Chief appeared at the scene and took
command...
(2) I sent him to the same address as the reporters.
(1) Further interview of the witness was impossible,
due to conditions.
(2) It was my bowling night...
(1) The motorist eyes were glassy, he had slurred
speech, was unsteady on his feet, and smelled
strongly of an alcoholic beverage.
(2) He was howling at the moon and trying to drive
the car from the back seat.
(1) Using only enough force to restrain the
subject...
(2) My favorite song is "Drop-kick me Jesus Through
the Goal Post of Life"
(1) The defendant asked this officer's advice on how
to act before the judge at his arraignment...
(2) I told him he didn't have the balls to call the
judge the same name he called me.
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny was walking along the railroad tracks when suddenly he got his
foot caught under one of the railroad ties. He tried to get it out but it
was really stuck. As he struggled to free his foot, he heard a noise and
turned around. To his horror he saw a train coming.
Panicked he started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks
and I'll stop being bad!"
Nothing happened, his foot was still stuck. He looked up to see the train
getting closer! He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop
swearing AND being bad!"
Still nothing his foot was wedged tight. The train was just seconds away!
Little Johnny struggled frantically as the train's horn blared.
He tried his plea one more time, "God, please, if you get my foot out of the
tracks, I'll quit being bad, I'll stop swearing, AND I'll stop trying to
look up little Mary's dress."
Just as the train was about to hit Johnny, his foot broke free and he fell
backwards, the train narrowly missing him. He got up, dusted himself off, l
ooked toward Heaven and said "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Love Is The Answer
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/C/Ans.html
He's Helping Me Now
http://www.loratrue2000.com/poems/helpingmenow.htm
John w/ Take My Hand, Precious Lord
http://heavens-gates.com/gospel/takemyhand_ep.html
Crying In The Wind
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Zodiac Blinkies
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Levis
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Lip Balm Commercial
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Hoppalas Turnen
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Javelin Live Fire VS T72
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Hat Chips
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A man goes into a bar with a black cat sitting on top of his head.
The bartender draws him a pint of Lowenbrau, brings it to him and
says, "Look. I don't know if you realize it, but there's a CAT
sitting on your head."
"What of it?" asks the man. "I ALWAYS wear a cat on my head on
a Monday afternoon."
"But today's Tuesday," replies the barkeep.
"Oh my God! Is it?" asks the man. "I must really look fucking retarded !"
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Toon Chips
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A XXXmas Story
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Anger Management
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Angry Residents
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Good Lickin
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Limerick Chips
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Said a lecherous fellow named Shea,
When his prick wouldn't rise for a lay,
"You must sieze it, and squeeze it,
And tease it, and please it,
For Rome wasn't built in a day."
A short-organed fellow named Kevin,
Used a vacuum to stretch it to seven,
Then to eight and to nine,
And thought ten was divine....
There will be film at eleven!
There was a young lady from Cheam
Who tried out a breast-growing cream
She awoke in the night
With a terrible fright
Another had grown in between!
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny's teacher was asking all the kids in
the class what their parents did for a living.
Little Mary got up and said "my Dad is a pilot, and
my Mommy is an architect."
"Great," said the teacher.
Michael got up and said " my Dad is a Doctor, and
my Mom is a housewife."
"Good," said the teacher.
Johnny was last in the class and when he got up he
said: "My Mommy, she is a substitute."
Knowing better about his background and always
striving to correct the kids, the teacher said, "you
mean she is a Prostitute."
"No," Said Johnny, "my Sister, she is the Prostitute,
but when she does not feel well, my Mommy
substitutes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1899
Summer of 65
The concert went well and by the
end of the concert the dogs were howling
along with the music.
Sandi: They were pretty good.
Val: I like the part where you and Rudy got up
and danced in the aisle along with mom and dad.
Katie: I thought we danced well Val.
BJ: I believe a good time was had by all.
Diana: I know I am exhausted.
Sandi: No, not yet mommy. The night is young and
the music is in the air.
BJ: I have an idea..
BJ pulls over the van into a deserted parking lot.
He puts in a Four Season's CD and cranks it up.
BJ: Let's Dance..
The six get out of the car and on the parking lot.
Dance..and dance.
The moon shines down on this strange and happy sight.
The end
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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