THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
A bad attitude is like a flat tire
you are not going anywhere till you change it
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Its that time of year. The leaves are falling
fast out front. Ours is an old neighborhood and
the trees are tall. Leaves are many and the
squirrels are plentiful. The war department and
I have already put the box fans and window air
conditioners away. We have an older home that does
not have central air. So we use a couple window
air conditioners, couple box fans, and a couple of
ceiling fans to cool the house down. And it got to 80
degrees today. Reminds me that I need to fix the
ceiling fan in the living room. The other ceiling
fan is in my office and I spent most of today in
the office for that very reason. For some reason,
having a little breeze on me always seems to help
my emphasyma. Not sure if I am imagining that but
having one near me always seems to improve things.
It appears that a wire has broken in the switch on
the fan. so it should not be a major repair. Oh well,
guess that will give me something to do tomorrow.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
why are you cutting down those trees?
The gov. has selected this place for making up a office building to
teach and assist people "how to stop deforrestation"
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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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THE COMICS
we fuck so often
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s011.html
why
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s012.html
both his balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s013.html
I'm glad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s014.html
how do you feel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s015.html
in the elevator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s016.html
c'mon baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s017.html
I think
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s018.html
the pole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s019.html
Frank?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s020.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Abbot and Costello
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/261.html
spectacular crashes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/262.html
a snatch and a champgagne bottle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/263.html
one day on southbound 241
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/264.html
asta la vista dick heads!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/265.html
1 year in 40 seconds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/266.html
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POWER POINT DISPLAYS
nice looking woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd453.html
alzhiemers prevention
find the red dot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd454.html
a joke
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd455.html
TOMMY COOPER one liners
1 . Two blondes walk into a building..........
you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...I
f you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only
Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can
clearly see you're nuts.'
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other
day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him
50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
'No, the steaks are too high.'
__________
Pierre and Boudreaux was flying Cajun Airlines to da
Mardi Gras. Boudreaux was flying da plane, and Pierre
was in da back foolin wit da cargo equipment an stuff.
Da plane hit some turbulence an started bouncin around
an Boudreaux got knock unconscious. Den da plane start
driftin. Pierre come run up to da front an Boudreaux
was sprawl out all over da steerin wheel.
Well, Pierre don't know nuttin bout flyin an he start
to get panaky. He grab da microphone and holla "May
Day! May Day! Dis is Cajun Air Line 90210. Boudreaux,
him knock unconscious an I don know nuttin about flyin dis plane!"
"Dis is da control tower," someone answer. "Don you worry
about nuttin. We gonna splain how you to land dis plane,
step by step, ah gar-own-tee! Jus leave anyting ta us.
Fus, how high you are, an whas you position?"
Pierre thought a minute, den say, "I'm five foot ten an
I'm all da way to da front of da plane." "No! No!" answer
da tower. "What you altitude, an where you location?"
Pierre say, "Man, rat now ah got a po attitude, an ah'm
from Thibodeaux, Laweezeeanna!"
"No! No! No!" came an exasperated voice. "Ah needs to
know how many feet you got off da groun an how you plane
in relation to da airport!"
Pierre, he start to panic by dis time. He say, "Countin
Boudreaux's feets an mine togedder, we got fo feet off da
groun an I don believe dis plane related to you airport!"
A long pause ---- de silence was deafanin. "We needs to
know who you next of kin..."
____________
Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the
question. "Will you marry me, darling?" he asked.
Lisa smiled coyly and said, "Yes, if you'll buy me a mink."
Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, "Okay, it's a
deal...on one condition."
"What is that?" Lisa asked.
"You'll have to clean the cage," Kurt replied.
__________
Only in Texas my friends...Only in Texas ....Too bad...
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's
deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because
he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a
better education then any cop from Houston , TX . He
decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at
the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.'
'What for?' says the lawyer...
The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at
the stop sign.'
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'
'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy.
License and registration, please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'The difference is you have to come to complete stop,
that's the law. License and registration, please!' the Deputy repeats..
Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference
between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and
registration; and you give me the ticket... If not, you let
me go and don't give me the ticket.'
'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts
beating the shit out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me
to stop, or just slow down?'
___________________
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious
financial troubles While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and
distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for
$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen
and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious
doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor
Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the
minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars
stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the
results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister
immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our
bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my
sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I
collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!", the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.
"You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the
Church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am
a professional salesman.. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church,
and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are
truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie,
did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered
the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the
contents. "What is this?. Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you
suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in
just one week?"
Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in
unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10
times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely,"
the minister! agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed
to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just
tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-
y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-
f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ------o-o-o-or-------- wo-wo-would yo-you j-
j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read
it t-to y-y-you??"
_________________
BUFFALO BILL
6664
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfertt.htm
AA.WMVPV
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfrrtrrr.htm
Achmed Jingle Bombs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdeeree.htm
AH L'Amour
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dferrrew.htm
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FUN PAGES
The Idiot Test 4
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41838&s=n
Madagascar Penguins
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38553&s=n
Fishin Fever
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41580&s=n
Pregnant Goldfish
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39826&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
MArtin aka the postman
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