Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
NORFOLK, Va. - A Norfolk-based sailor feared lost at sea was rescued late
Wednesday afternoon by sea and air personnel from the George H.W. Bush
Strike Group following a search effort lasting more than five hours, U.S.
Second Fleet announced.
The sailor, who was not identified pending notification of family and a full
investigation, was pulled from the water off Cape Hatteras, N.C., about 5:40
p.m. Eastern time. He was undergoing a full medical examination aboard the
carrier Bush on Wednesday night after surviving more than five hours in the
water.
The sailor had been missing since a crew muster aboard the destroyer
Mitscher at 12:15 p.m. After an onboard search and complete personnel roll
call, the sailor couldn't be accounted for and was assumed to have gone
overboard.
The strike group, which was taking part in training operations, immediately
initiated search-and-rescue efforts, Second Fleet said. Assets taking part
included Bush, Mitscher, fixed and rotary wing aircraft from Carrier Air
Wing 8, and the cruisers Gettysburg, Philippine Sea and Monterey.
One of the most frightening things that can happen to a sailor, be it
on a fishing boat or a super carrier in the largest Navy in the world
is to fall overboard undetected in the middle of the ocean. Even in
calm warm water you are overcome with a sense of loneliness and
impending doom as you watch your ship sail off without you. The
only thing sometimes that keeps a person from giving up is the
knowledge that when he is discovered missing that his shipmates,
any other ship in the area, and the Coast Guard will expend any
resources available to find you. From the sounds of things the
sailor had went to eat lunch and had failed to report back for work
or a watch so he was discovered missing within an hour or so.
If this had happened after Taps and they hadn't discovered him
missing until morning muster there could have been a less pleasant
outcome as it is not uncommon for a carrier group to steam at
15 to 30 knots leaving a large chunk of sea to search. Man
overboard is not a frequent occurrence and it will be interesting to
hear the report of the investigation.
In 6 plus years on carriers I can recall under ten man overboard
that happened, usually involving someone walking behind a plane
and get blown overboard by the jet wash or falling off of a liberty
boat caused by inebriation but those people were recovered. The
only person that died was a suicide in which rumor had it the man
had been caught in his bunk weighing drugs by an officer and he
had knocked the officer unconscious and then realizing he had
no where to go weighted himself down and jumped off of the fantail
and his body sunk immediately.
Regardless of the situation here, these people deserve an attaboy
or two for recovering their shipmate.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Honeymoon Chips
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Lena and Sven got married in St. Paul. They planned to honeymoon in
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deer hunters. About 30 minutes out of St. Paul the bus broke down
right next to a nice hotel. Sven said to Lena, "Lena, there's a
comfortable hotel right here. How about consummating our marriage?"
Lena replied, "No. I vant to wait till ve get to Duluth."
The repaired bus took off. Fifty miles down the road, it broke down
again. This time it was next to a good-looking motel.
Sven turned to Lena and asked, "Look Lena. There's a nice motel. Can
ve consummate our marriage?"
Lena said, "No. I vant to wait till ve get to Duluth."
The bus was repaired and off they went. Ten miles down the road, the
bus broke down. This time they were our in the woods. However, there
was a little clearing out of the sight of the bus.
Lena turned to Sven, "I tink ve should go back into the voods and do
it."
Later when they returned the bus, Sven asked Lena, "Earlier ve vere
next to a nice hotel and you said "No". Then, ve vere by a motel and
you said "No". But, here ve vent out into the grassy voods and did
it. Why?"
Lena said, "I vas listening to the hunters. They said if the bus
broke down again, fucking season vould be over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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waste words
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the trouble with getting old
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Thought Chips
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MEN'S THOUGHTS DURING LOVE MAKING Kissing/Light Petting What he hopes you're
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Undressing What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the SIZE of
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What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"
Foreplay/Oral Sex What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the
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Penetration What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting
me in half!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"
Your Orgasm What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!" What
he's afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this
performance." What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes, (other guy's
name here), yes!"
Postcoital Bliss What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an
earthquake feels like." What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should
let my lesbian friend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after
all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Halloween Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All eyes turned to stare as Suzanne, a gorgeous redhead walked into the
costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept her.
"Where's your costume?" he hissed through clenched teeth. "This is it," she
calmly explained. "I came as Adam." "Adam?" her host exploded. "You don't
even have a dick!" "Well gee, I just got here,"she replied. "Give me a few
minutes!
A couple is getting ready to go to a costume party. The woman goes into the
bedroom and emerges completely naked, except for a lemon hanging on a string
from her vagina. Her partner is shocked and amazed, and questions her about
it. She answers that this is her costume, and this is the way she's going
to the party. So the guy goes into the bedroom and emerges a few minutes
later also completely naked, but with a potato hanging on a string from his
penis. He looks at her and replies, "If you can go as a sour-puss, I can go
as a dick-
tater."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sneeze Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in
first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his penis and
wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she
just saw and decides she is hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls it
out again and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to
go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person
exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again.
He repeats the procedure. The woman has finally had
enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times
you've sneezed,and three times you've removed your
penis from your pants to wipe it off! What kind of
degenerate are you?"
The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you,
ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I
sneeze, I have an org*sm."
The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you
taking for it?"
The man looks at her and replies, "Pepper."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Birth Control Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman with eight children happened to run across a childhood friend of
hers on the street corner. "Nancy," she asked, "why do you have no
children?"
"I practice preventive measures," was the answer.
"Preventive measures? What's that?" asked Donna.
"I use two saucers and a box. My husband's shorter than I am and we like to
screw standing up. When he gets a hard-on I pull up my dress, spread my
legs, and put two saucers on the table. He stands up on the box so he can
get all the way inside me and starts jumping up and down."
"So where does all this get you?" asked Donna, confused.
"That's when I got to watch him very closely. When his eyes get as big as
those two saucers, I kick the box out from under him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Lonely
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Little Sad Ghost
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Valley couple's Radio Flyer car turns heads
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What To Wear On Halloween
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Advise for the Dimocraps
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Obscene Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether the
owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity.
The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to the
club and see the allegedly obscene act.
The judge and the jury watched the act once, focusing on the part where a
sexy couple performed the "Dance of Love" with a climactic scene of
lovemaking on a bearskin rug. The jury was unable to decide definitely
whether it was obscene or not. So the jury members asked to see the act one
more time. They watched it carefully again. But they still couldn't reach
a decision. So this time they asked the understudies to perform the same
act one more time.
Fortunately, the police involved in the case were very understanding.
According to the Detective: "It is a difficult matter. The police have
watched the show 75 times."
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Experience
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fake O
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I came first
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Fuckin A
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Hammer
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Halloween love story
An ugly old minister, Hume
Too many dark peas did consume
It killed him, that's shown
That's why he's now known
As preacher from the black legume
One night under bloody full moon
The time of the month made for woo'in
Hume went on the prowl
And heard his ghoul howl
And knew he cadaver real soon
Hume asked her "Would you like to dance?
I'll help you get out of your pants?"
"I'd not be caught dead
With you in my bed
You haven't a ghost of a chance"
She cried with a howl of great sorrow
Which chilled poor Hume's bones to the marrow
She doesn't let men
Get under her skin
For they won't re-spectre tomorrow
Still she and her dance partner Hume
Waltzed all through the night I presume
She said as she tripped
Across creepy crypt,
"Oh listen, they're playing our tomb"
(By Gary Hallock)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family
of a weeping wife and their four children.
Three of the children are tall, good looking and
athletic; but, the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt.
"Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that
the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the
truth before I die, I will forgive you if..."
The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest,
absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave
that you are his father."
The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her
breath: "Thank heaven he didn't ask about the other
three."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1902
The Crisis With Sandi
Over the years we have had a crisis with Katie that cost about 2,000
dollars,
her spine problem and two bouts with tick fever. When Rudy adopted us
after living in the wild, we spent close to a thousand removing a bullet and
fixing his jaw and getting him well. All along Sandi has been fine, even
though
she has been the hunter, killing coyotes, and armadillos and other
creatures.
Only once did she even get a minor wound...
Friday night, I was watching the Yankee Texas baseball game and Sandi, as
usual had her head on my lap when she suddenly fell heavily from the couch
unto the floor. No whine, no sound of pain. Yet her left front foot was at
an
odd angle. I cried for Diana to come help as I thought her foot was broken.
Diana: She is in shock! She is shaking and appears to be in shock.
I was on the floor with her and holding her (stupid with my knee and the
hardwood
floor).
Diana: No, she is not in shock, she is having a seizure.
BJ: What! I am a seizure patient, not my doggie.
Diana: It will be over soon.
A few minutes later, Sandi's eyes refocused and she was breathing very
heavily.
Diana: We need to take her to a Vet asap.
We did.they ran tests. She was fine. Perhaps the stress of being seperated
from
Dad.
So this week she is coming to stay with dad. If she has another one, she
will be on
phenobarbitol and valium.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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