Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Need a reason to party before Columbus Day? Here is a list
of those little known October holidays so that you will
always have a reason to crack open a brew and celebrate.
October 1 is World Vegetarian Day and Magic Circles Day
October 2 is Name Your Car Day
October 3 is Virus Appreciation Day
October 4 is National Golf Day
October 5 is National Storytelling Festival
October 6 is German-American Day and Come and Take It Day
October 7 is National Frappe Day
October 8 is American Tag Day
October 9 is Moldy Cheese Day
October 10 is National Angel Food Cake Day
October 11 is It's My Party Day
October 12 is International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day
October 13 is National Peanut Festival
October 14 is Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day
October 15 is White Cane Safety Day
October 16 is Dictionary Day
October 17 is Gaudy Day
October 18 is No Beard Day
October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day
October 20 is National Brandied Fruit Day
October 21 is Babbling Day
October 22 is National Nut Day
October 23 is National Mole Day
October 24 is National Bologna Day
October 25 is Punk For A Day Day
October 26 is Mule Day
October 27 is Sylvia Plath Day
October 28 is Plush Animal Lover's Day and National Chocolate Day
October 29 is Hermit Day
October 30 is National Candy Corn Day
October 31 is National Magic Day and Increase Your Psychic Powers
Day
I haven't been keeping up with anything political except what is
happening in Michigan. If I can't change it, why worry about it,
right? Then I started seeing headlines like GOP warms to O'Donnell
and Palin agrees with O'Donnell and even Rush supports O'Donnell
and I was thinking the Conservatives like a Liberal Lesbian like
Rosie
O'Donnell, that's pretty strange. Then I found out there was
Christine
O'Donnell who is running for something somewhere. That is a good
reason to not ask me to discuss politics.
Enjoy the chips, buffalo
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Mixed Up Chips
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Mixed-Up Slogans
Living in the Information Age certainly gives companies a broader
medium in which to advertise. Unfortunately this also allows
advertisers to bury consumers under an avalanche of products and
slogans. It takes a very gifted customer to sort out all the fast
paced images. Imagine what would happen if an ad agency
"accidentally" mixed up some of the slogans. Well, don't imagine,
just read.
The National Audubon Society... Aim High!
Burger King... Kills bugs dead
Flexall 454... Snap, Crackle, Pop
Fruit of the Loom... Where's the beef?
Tampax Tampons (without the applicator)... Finger lickin'
good
Vaseline... You're in good hands
Miller Genuine Draft... Get behind the wheel
Port O Let... Nobody beats the Wiz
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals... No one can
eat just one
United Savings and Loan... Make a run for the border
Pepto Bismol... Nothing runs like a Deere
Department of Public Safety... Everywhere you want to be
Operation Rescue... The incredible, edible egg
Alcoholics Anonymous... And leave the driving to us
Your Local Family Planning Center... Once you pop, you can't
stop
Local sewage treatment plant... We bring good things to life
The Wiz... An outdoor tradition since 1912
The National Organization of Women... We're looking for a
few good men
K Y Jelly... I can't believe it's not butter!
Fisher Price... From Sharp minds come Sharp products
Geo... Crunch all you want, we'll make more
Trojan Condoms... Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
Japanese Board of Tourism... Little. Yellow. Different.
Better.
Metamucil... It keeps going and going and going...
Ex-Lax... plop, plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is
(Author Unknown)
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
through the years
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q038.html
portrait
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q039.html
toilet talk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/q040.html
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Investment Chips
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INVESTMENT VOCABULARY
EBITDA: Earnings Before I Tricked Damned Auditor
EBIT: Earnings Before Irregularities & Tampering
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
NAV: Normal Anderson Valuation
FRS: Fantasy Reporting Standards
P/E: Parole Entitlement
EPS: Eventual Prison Sentence
Bull Market: A random market movement causing
an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market: A 6-18 month period when the kids
get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and
the husband gets no sex.
Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high
and selling low.
Value Investing: The are of buying low and selling lower.
P/E Ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the market keeps crashing.
Broker: What my broker has made me.
"BUY-BUY": A flight attendant making market
recommendations as you step off the airplane.
Standard & Poor: My life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split
your assets equally between themselves.
Financial Planner: A guy who actually remembers
his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper
and cigarettes.
Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it
disappears down the toilet.
Yahoo: What you yell after selling it to some poor
sucker for $240. per share.
Windows 7: What you jump out of when you're
the sucker that bought Yahoo at $240./share.
Institutional Investor: Past year investor who's now
locked up in a nut house.
Profit: Religious guy who talks to G-d.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
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A proposed Nebraska law will allow parents to abandon their
teenagers if they can't handle them. To which Britney Spears
asked, "Why would anyone wait that long to abandon their kids?"
- - - - -
The founder of Enzyte was convicted of defrauding customers
Seeking male sexual enhancement products. Ironically, he will
end up becoming the product himself and provide sexual
enhancement performance to all his cellmates.
- - - - -
Now we go from the Beijing Olympics to the Democratic
Convention. Oh goody. That's like going from a naked super
model hot tub party to a root canal appointment.
- - - - -
Trojan is giving away free condoms at the Democratic
National Convention. It makes sense because it seems
Democrats have been screwing each other since the
convention started.
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Difficult Chips
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I met a guy on the golf course who played
to scratch using nothing more than a large
weight on the end of broom handle for
everywhere except the green, and an old
umbrella for putting.
In the nineteenth, I told him how impressed I was.
"I guess it's because I'm a genius" he
replied casually. "I find things so easy
that I have to make everything more difficult."
"Snooker for example," he continued, "I play
with a rubber bung stuck on the end of a metal
pole twisted like a corkscrew. I could still
beat Ronnie O'Sullivan with one hand tied
behind my back. I have to make it difficult,
or I get bored.
"Or rifle shooting," he went on. "I've taken
the sights off the gun, hold it one handed
[left hand even though I'm right handed]
sight with my right eye [even though the gun's
in my left hand] and stand on one leg while
the rest lie prone to hold the weapon stable.
Even then, I could win easily whenever I want.
Nothing's any fun unless I can make it into a
challenge."
I was impressed. "Got any kids?" I inquired.
"Yes," he replied. "And before you ask ......
Standing up in a hammock."
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Sweetest Day is October 17th.
Order personalized Sweetest Day Gifts they'll love!
Photo Frames
Keepsakes
Romantic Gifts
Apparel & More!
To shop now, please visit the link below:
(Copy and paste the URL listed above if link does not appear)
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Honeymoon Chips
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On his honeymoon, a very thick redneck farmer, Billy Joe, insisted
on having a room at the luxury hotel with a balcony overlooking the
sea.
On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged
from the bathroom dressed in some very sexy lingerie.
"Hey Billy Joe, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting
for you to savor for the first time" she said coyly.
"No thanks, I want to sit out here," he said.
So Daisy sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after
which she invited Billy Joe once more to come in off the balcony to
take pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually
Daisy grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and
fell asleep.
In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony.
"Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have
been making love all night?" she asked.
"Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most
beautiful night of my whole life - and I didn't want to miss a
moment of it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Few Minutes To Dream
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Ky/A_Few.html
Autumn's Gentle Reminders
http://www.loratrue2000.com/poems/autumnreminder.htm
Dancing Friend
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol02.html
The Wild Ones
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildones.html
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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Four-Winged Fossil Bridges Bird-Dinosaur Gap ? Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/ydhw9cc
WordSpy Via Wesley
http://www.wordspy.com/
PROLIFIC TV WRITER-PRODUCER STEPHEN J. CANNELL DIES
http://deathbeeper.com/5957621.html
Micro Folk Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/microart.html
Up Close And Personal
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/personal.html
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Privacy International
http://privacy.org/
Old Versions of your Favorite Software!
http://www.versiondownload.com/
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
Kitty Korner
http://www.infinitecat.com/index.html
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documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
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Movie Links
Voting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91101.htm
Argument Settled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91102.htm
Been Married To long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91103.htm
Beer Diet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91104.htm
Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91105.htm
Bowling Bloopers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9267.htm
Boy & Labrador
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9268.htm
Brass Pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9269.htm
Bud Light Wheel
http://www.buffaloschips.com/92610.htm
Brownie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/92699.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The young swain was putting forth a good argument. "You see,
darling," he was saying to the pretty young thing, "We can live
together for a while; then if we find we have made a mistake - we
can
separate very easily." "
Yes," replied the little chick," but what the hell are we going to
do
with the little mistake!"
The science teacher was discussing insects in her biology class for
the kids. She said, "Moths always fly with their legs apart. Can
anybody tell me why?"
Some of the students looked at each other in a state of total
confusion.
Then, Johnny raised his hand. When called upon, he said, "Miss, have
you ever seen the SIZE of moth balls?"
A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted to buy
an
evening gown for his wife as a surprise.
"What size?" asked the clerk.
The man shrugged blankly.
Trying to help, the clerk inquired, "Well then, what are your wife's
measurements?"
The man thought for a moment. "Small, medium, and large and in that
order."
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just Once
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42051.htm
IRS
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42603.htm
It Fits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32157.htm
Crane
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32158.htm
Marriage Penalty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32159.htm
Coffee Break
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32160.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
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"A sermon", thought Father O'Flynn,
"I should write 'bout The Evils Of Sin...
But my mind is a blank,
So I'll sit here and wank,
'Til some new inspirations begin."
His housekeeper, taken aback,
Cried, "Oh Father! It's sinful to wack!"
So she whipped off her scanties,
(Her bra and her panties)
And guided him into her crack.
"Lord Jesus!" cried Father O'Flynn,
"Inspiration at last to begin!"
As his housekeeper dribbled
He grabbed paper and scribbled
His sermon: 'The Pleasures Of Sin.'
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
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A drunk stumbled into a doctor's office and said, "Shey, doc, you
gotta
help me put my dick back on."
"Where is it?"
"Right here in my pocket."
"That's a cigar."
"Oh my God, doc! I smoked my dick!"
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1884
Stone Toss
Rudy: So what kind of game is this?
Diana: It is stone throwing. They have a stone in a cloth and
throw it.
Rudy: Well thanks to Pops invention of us having mechanical hands,
I can do this.
Sandi: My hero...
Katie: I will watch.
Val: I might try.
BJ: Okay, read the saying: "Those who try and die are better than
those who never try and ask why?"
Katie: Gulp! Trying, dying... ack!
Rudy gets in line and tosses a stone a long ways.
Val alas poor Val tries but she is a little lass. It just doesn't
go very
far.
Judge: The winners are: MacIntosh first, and Rudy of the Cassady
clan
second.
Applause!!!
BJ: Rudy you did well!
Rudy: Were is my tankard of ale?
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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