Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
You spent my tax dollars on what?
A ten-year effort by University of Rhode Island scientist Terry
Bradley to develop transgenic rainbow trout with enhanced
muscle growth has yielded fish with "six-packs" and muscular
shoulders. This development could ultimately provide a boost
to the aquaculture industry.
Just when I was thinking about maybe doing a little fishing for
a hobby, some one has to invent a Terminator fish that will
drag you out of the boat and kick your butt for trying to catch it.
Now here is the kicker on the deal. A Mass. company wants to
grow genetically engineered Atlantic Salmon that use an eel
gene to put on weight quickly and they are looking for permission
to market without telling people they engineered it because
the salmon is no different than regular salmon. Maybe so but
suppose the fish of the first part breeds with the fish of the
second
part and all of a sudden you have a 500 pound salmon that can
bench press 900 lbs. That would give those guys on Swords a little
surprise. heh heh
Enjoy the chips....buffalo
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Slogan Chips
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Commercial Slogans & the real meaning...
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"Which is *exactly* how long you'll be
hearing about it from the wife if you don't
cough up the green for some ice, pal."
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"It's an American version of tough; not *
really* tough, like German cars are tough."
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"Being around Fabio, for even a few seconds,
makes you dumb as a post."
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"The half-assed way to slogan."
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"Must-see TV"
"Yeah, what else are you gonna do, Shakespeare? Read?!"
"Calgon, take me away!"
"I've got my Mr. Showerhead poised for action."
"Like a rock"
"God knows we weren't selling many pickups
with that Boy George tune."
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Wiggle Chips
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Rabbi Levy is addressing the 'Enlighten Your Daughter' meeting of
the synagogue women's guild.
"Ladies," he says, "I'm sure some of you know by now that the
unfortunate Jonathan Bloom has been sent to prison for making love
to his wife Sadie's dead body."
A number of 'Oy Vays' are heard from the ladies present.
"You might also be interested to know," the Rabbi goes on to say,
"that I spoke to Jonathan yesterday and I now firmly believe that
his actions were entirely innocent and accidental. So although we
are all feeling sorry for Jonathan, there is a lesson to be learned.
Ladies, go back home to your daughters and tell them that when
making love with a good Jewish husband, they should please make a
little wiggle."
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Monkey Chips
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The
monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs
some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table
and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he
sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
did?"
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats
everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with
him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out,
and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see
what your monkey did now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled
them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
measures everything first."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Doubt Chips
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Charles, a Frenchman, was leaving his Parisian home for a few weeks
and confided in his friend, Pierre, "I always hate leaving my wife
for so long like this. When I'm away, I just don't know what she is
doing. There's always the doubt, always the doubt."
Pierre said, "Charles, I'll tell you what. Because we're such close
friends, I'll keep an eye on her every evening that you're gone."
"You would do that for me, Pierre?" Charles said, relieved. "Oh
thank you so very much. I know I really should trust my wife, but
it's just that there's always the doubt, always the doubt."
So Charles went off on his business trip and returned to Paris three
weeks later. The two men met again.
"Charles, I'm afraid I have bad news for you," Pierre said. "The
very first night you were gone, I watched this man go to your house.
Your wife opened the door naked and kissed and hugged him. He
fondled her breasts. He rubbed her crotch. Then they closed the door
to go upstairs. Never daunted, I climbed up the tree outside your
house and watched them in the bedroom."
"And so...?" inquired Charles.
"Well, first they took off all his clothes"
"What happened then?" asked Charles.
"Then," Pierre shook his head sorrowfully, "then they closed the
curtains. I could see nothing. I could learn nothing more."
Charles sighed a deep sigh. "So you see how it is, my friend? Always
the doubt, always the doubt."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Costume Chips
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A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he
writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days
later, he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be
just right as a pirate. Very truly yours, A cme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by
and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your
wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the
part.Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing
his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the
company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a
small parcel and a note, which reads:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick
your wooden leg up your butt and go as a caramel apple. Very truly
yours, Acme Costume Co.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Left Behind
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carolyn w/ Never Ending ~Elvis Presley
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Butchart Gardens - (Great Fall photos)
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Surfin Surfari
Halloween Cakes
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WorstPills.org Prescription Drug Information
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Bible-Era Mystery Vessel Found Via Wesley
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See What Pesticides are Used in Your Food Via Wesley
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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PlugIn Manager for Photoshop
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
New Recruiting Ad
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Niggar Family
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Nissan Pathfinder
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Not a morning person
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Not Just A Human Problem
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Both Ways Barack
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Bowl
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Boxing Match
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Brownies
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Camera 21
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Business Chips
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Once a young boy was watching his mother take a bath.
As she got out to dry off, he notices her upper torso he asks "Momma
what are those?"
She replies "Son those are my breasts," as she turns her back to him
he asks "Momma what is that?" she replies "Son that is my derriere."
As she turns to slip on her robe he spies her nether region and asks
"Momma what is that?" She replies "That son is none of your
business!"
Later the boy is playing by the kitchen door, and the father comes
in from work hungry. The father hollers toward the kitchen to the
mom, "Hey honey, what's for dinner?" She replies "None of your
business."
The son shaking his head says "YUCK!"
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Toon Chips
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blonde bull
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blonde chocolate
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blonde science
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blonde swing
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blonde upside
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blonde Washing
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Limerick Chips
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There once was an old man from Wicket.
Who asked a young lady to lick it.
She promptly said no,
And started to go,
But she did tell him where he could stick it.
My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
But, in charming my cobra,
The bosom with no bra
Can almost reduce it to tears.
The model climbed up the ladder,
As Titian, the painter, had bade her
Then her position
Suggested coition,
So he climbed up the ladder and had her
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
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" Morning Sex"
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said
Softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming
Or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then
Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,
Her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,
"What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
Peggy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1889
Caldwell's Chilifest
Diana: Come on guys let's walk over to the park for the Chilifest.
Rudy: Oh boy I just love Chili.
Val: What is Chili?
Sandi: You will like it but stay upwind from Rudy.
Katie: Oh yes, please do.
Rudy: Hey it wasn't bad in Guthrie last year.
BJ: I remember the men in the EPA outfits showing up.
Later at the park...
Rudy: Oh boy look at all the different tents and tables...
Diana: Rules: Stay together and enjoy but try to be modest
in your food intake.
ZOOM!
BJ: Nice try.
to be continued
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Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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