Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva did the downtown trick or treating route today and came back
with her pumpkin full of candy from the stores. Her witch costume
was made by Sandy for Buffy when she was the same age and it
still got compliments but when Buffy got it out of storage last night
Eva decided she was going to wear it and go trick or treating. She
is not only bull-headed but she screams and stomps her feet till she
gets what she wants and since I am in no shape to chase a 4 year old
I made Buffy handle it. That went well until Buffy went into a tantrum
of her own and I had to send them both to timeout. Sandy mellowed
the situation out by making a big bowl of popcorn ball mixture. None
of it got made into balls but by the time everyone got done munching
popcorn they were getting along with each other.
I ran across something interesting in the candy today called candy sticks
in a little box. I knew what they were the second I opened the box. They
took the candy cigarette and removed the red from the end and got
around the stigma of smoking. Pretty good idea for reworking an old
product for the 21st century actually. Might work for Toyota, bring back
all of their models with no insignia on them so people won't think about
that no brakes thing, at least till it happens.
Enjoy the chips ... buffalo
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Raisin Chips
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A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who
likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.
One day a young man enters the store, glances
at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread
behind the counter. Noticing the length of her
skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the
raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
"I'd like some raisin bread please," the man
says politely.
The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to
reach the raisin bread, which is located on the
very top shelf. The young man standing almost
directly beneath her is provided with an excellent
view, just as he surmised he would.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he
really should get two loaves, as he is having
company for dinner.
As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread,
one of the other male customers notices what
was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his
own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to
enjoy the view.
With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems
to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty
soon, each male customer is asking for raisin
bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking
that she is really going to have to try the bread
herself.
Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops
and fumes, glaring at the men standing below.
She notices an elderly man standing amongst
the crowd, staring up at her.
Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the
elderly man,
"Is it raisin for you too?
"No," stammers the old man, "but it's twitchin a mite'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
we are tolerant
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broad jump
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my own robot
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Sperm Chips
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There are two sperm and they're swimming and swimming and swimming for what
seems like forever. They're starting to get tired and one sperm says to the
other, "Do you think we should pull over and ask for directions?"
The other sperm replies, "Naaaahhhhh, we can find it."
So, they keep swimming. Finally, they see another sperm, who's almost dead,
and decide to stop and ask for directions. They ask, "Do you think you can
help us get to where we are going?"
The almost dead sperm says, "I'll try, where ya going?"
The two sperms reply, "Well, we're trying to find the fallopian tubes so
that we can try and fertilize the egg."
The almost dead sperm just starts laughing. The other two sperms look at
one another, somewhat confused, and ask, "What's so funny?"
The almost dead sperm finally regains his composure and replies, "Well, you
guys have a long way to go...... you're still in the esophagus."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fraternity brother confronted a junior member, telling him, "A sorority
girl is running around campus telling people you have a small dick." "Yeah?"
the junior member replied. "Well, she has a big mouth."
Women think they're so clever because they can fake an orgasm for the sake
of a relationship, but men can fake a whole relationship for the sake of an
orgasm.
If you don't enjoy masturbation, you have only yourself to blame.
A blonde and a brunette were standing in an elevator. A man with dandruff
walked in. The brunette said, "Somebody needs to give him some Head &
Shoulders." The blonde asked, "How do you give shoulders?"
A man went to the doctor after he twisted his knee playing golf. "You need
to stop masturbating," the doctor said. When the man asked why, the doctor
replied, "Because I am trying to examine your knee."
Will I be the first to do this to you?" a man whispered when his bride to be
finally consented to have sex. "What a silly question,"
giggled the girl. "I don't even know what position you want to try yet."
When does a cub become a boy scout?
When he eats his first Brownie.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100 out loud?
Because when she says 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
What's the definition of a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trivia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at
home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 time s a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life..quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.....)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-
handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
( I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy
facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a
chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone !
(and God love that pig!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Word Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WORDS YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR DURING SEX
"You feel almost as good as my wife."
"You know, your mother is so much better!"
"Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
"Oh my God!!! 3.5 seconds, a new record"!!!!!!
"Do you mind? I'm trying to watch TV."
"Darling, don't you think that the ceiling needs painting?"
"Oh Janet!" . And your name is Carol
"Oops I did it again."
"Will you please hurry up there is a really good movie coming on in
one minute."
"Is it hurting? I can't even feel it."
"Is it in yet?"
"Do you think your sister would like to join us?"
"I think we should paint the ceiling ivory"
"Are you sure you're not named 'Speedy Gonzales'."
"Oops, sorry I called you by your brother's name."
"Did you just have salami for lunch?"
Fart, giggling, fart, giggling, fart, giggling.
"WRONG HOLE!!!"
"Finished! I didn't think you started yet."
Laughing with the explanation: "I just remembered a joke I heard
today."
"But you said you would be through by the time the commercial was
over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Weep Not When I Am Risen
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/Weep.html
Portrait Of Middle Age
http://www.carolspoetry.com/middle.html
Trust
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Sweet Baby Overload!
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Surfin Surfari
Halloween Cakes
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Casa Batllo - House Of Bones
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Chapel With Bone Art
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Horse Costumes
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Layouts and Backgrounds
http://www.dazzlejunction.com/
Christmas Countdown Banners
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J's Magic Galleries
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Moments with Baxter Via Carol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIrDbzoOxZc&NR=1
A Tribute to Baxter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5T51Qj8wB0
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Movie Links
Midgey
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abjhuh.htm
Momma Is Santa
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agfrtt.htm
Morning Peepers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgff.htm
Moshonov
http://www.buffaloschips.com/afgftt.htm
Mother's Day
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Moulin Huge
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Love 2008
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Love Boat
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Lucha
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Luckiest Man On The Planet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshshjs.htm
Lucky 1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two friends are discussing the possibility of love. "I
thought I was in love three times," one friend says.
"How so?" his friend asks.
"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted
nothing to do with me."
"Was that not love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two
years ago I deeply cared for an attractive woman who
didn't understand me."
"Was that not love?"
"No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I
met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She
was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere I
followed
her on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit of
my stomach."
"Was that not love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was motion sickness."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aol Toilet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ilugl.htm
apple
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fhrgh9.htm
apples
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjkhkkjkvk,xv.htm
appointment
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hhhwiehkadn.htm
arab blowup doll
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hfhjfnf.htm
arab get oil
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjfjfjfs.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She frowned and called him Mister
Because in sport he kissed her
And so in spite
That very night
This Mister kissed her sister.
To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
Has your east tit the least bit
The best of the west tit?
Or is it just a trick of perspective?"
There once was a man from Nantuckett
Who got his foot stuck in a bucket
Though he tried and tried
He could not come unpried
So finally, he up and said "F*** IT."
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIGNS OF TROUBLE IN SANTA'S MARRIAGE
10. He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange
students.
9. Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear."
8. He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.
7. He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized holiday
Barbie.
6. His new live-in person elf valet, Steve.
5. Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from New Jersey.
4. He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake because he's
bugged the bedroom.
3. Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she brings the elves
their morning coffee.
2. Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of the
fireplace.
1. Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1910 Sandi, the Roamer Back in Caldwell, BJ has
to have a discussion with Sandi and her apparent misdeed while BJ was gone.
BJ: So here is what I heard. Diana went to the doctor and Billy was over (a
person who is mentally handicapped)
and when both left, you decided to go downtown and shop.
Sandi: I wanted to make certain Billy made it home okay.
After he made it home, it was only a block more to downtown and I am a
girl.and there are stores there.
BJ: Sandi dear, they could arrest you and put you in doggie jail.
Sandi: For shopping?
BJ: I know it seems trivial, but they have laws, and they may seem silly to
you, but they are laws. You can go shopping with daddy or mommy but not
alone.
Sandi: Can I take Rudy with me?
BJ: No, it has to be a bi-ped.
Sandi: Silly laws. Probably why they didn't sell me a pizza.
The herd <!--.style1 {font-size:x-small}-->
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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