THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The easiest thing of all is to deceive one's self;
for what a man wishes he generally believes to be true.
Demosthenes
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The citizens of this great country morn in sadness
today as they learn that June Cleaver, aka Barbara
Billingsly, died yesterday at age 94. She was the epitome
of what every American for the last 30 years thought
was the "perfect mom." who cleaned house in her choker
pearl necklace and high heeled shoes and was always home
to greet her boys or husband as they came in the door.
Perhaps such a person exists on the face of the earth.
Or perhaps there is no such person that would ever be found
who could be such a person. Either way, I suspect
that the truth will never be known. for it is all in how
we perceive our own mom.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
divorce
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s061.html
father and son in law
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s062.html
the battle armor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s063.html
stop staring
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s064.html
play dead
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s065.html
I did the math
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s066.html
you're lucky
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s067.html
women's liberation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s068.html
oh fuck!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s069.html
a health issue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s070.html
_________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Paul Zerdin Ventriloquist at Comedy Rocks
With Jason .Manford - FUNNY -
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/292.html
Tow truck tries to flip an eighteen wheeler but fails
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/293.html
to catch a tree
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/294.html
smart cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/295.html
hidden camera
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/296.html
________________________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
cartoons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd466.html
a friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd467.html
10 words
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd468.html
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an immigrant
claimant outside the Social Security Offices.
'My good man,' the fairy said,
'I've been told to grant you three wishes,
Since you've just arrived in England with your
wife and seven children.'
The man told the fairy:
'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth,
so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin
and -- PING !!!He had a brand new shining set of
gold teeth in his mouth!
'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two, more wishes, to go'.
The refugee claimant now got bolder.
'I need a big house with a three car garage in
Birmingham with eight bedrooms for my family and the
rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country.
I want to bring them all over here.
PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a
beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long
driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a
sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of
his nephews playing their music.'One more wish left
for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.
I want to be English with English clothes instead of
rags, and shawl and I want to have white skin like the English.'
PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out
jeans from ASDA, a dirty Primark T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap.
He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had
disappeared from the horizon.
'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed.
'Where is my new house? Where's my Visa Gold Card?'
The fairy said. .'Tough luck.
Now that you are English, you're entitled to
Sweet f*** all like the rest of us.
__________________
Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just
couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was
a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded
and a real credit to the company and obviously
demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic,
you do a bang-up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear.
It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're
retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if
you came in late there?" "They said, "Good morning,
Admiral, can I get you coffee, sir?"
______________
Some facts about Men
QWhat is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are…
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would
Hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????…..
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: I) no mind ii) no business
____________
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest,
said, 'It was a good idea to replace the first four
rows of pews with plush bucket theater seats.
It worked like a charm. The front of the church always
fills first now.' The young priest nodded, and the old
priest continued, 'And you told me a little more beat to
the music would bring young people back to the
church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock
'n roll gospel
choir. We are packed to the balcony!!'
'Thank you, Father,' answered the young priest.
'I am pleased that you
are open to the new ideas of youth.'
'However,' said the elderly priest, 'I'm afraid you'
ve gone too far with the drive-through confessional.'
But, Father,' protested the young priest,
'my confessions and the
donations have nearly doubled since I began that!'
'I know, son, but that flashing neon sign,
"Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell,"
just can't stay on the church roof.'
______________
Job Applicant "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."
Employer "I'm sorry, we already have enough consultants."
Applicant "That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor."
Employer "More than we can use already."
Applicant (as he is getting desperate), "I'm not proud,
I can do paperwork,
I'll be a clerk. If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor."
Employer "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings
for a person with
your qualifications."
Applicant (as he stands up and angrily yells), "To work
for you I'd have to
be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"
Employer "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney,
have a seat. We may
just have an opening."
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Indian Teacher Explaining the Word *uck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsxa.htm
Instant Justice Mega Mix
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aqwsa.htm
Iraqi Speed Bump
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aawqs.htm
Irish Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajdku.htm
________________
FUN PAGES
M&M Empire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38557&s=n
Top Truck
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39580&s=n
Whack Your Boss
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41836&s=n
Mario Star Catcher
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41598&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have anice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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