Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Had a real busy day on Wed., unfortunately a lot of it involved
redoing work I had already done which means you don't get a lot
accomplished even though you are running around like you are on
fire.
Being as it is 0300 I will not try to entertain you with an introduction
as they generally end up being not worth reading so we will hope
tomorrow is better.
Enjoy the chips .... buffalo
A Newsletter You may Enjoy.
I am starting this Group to have some fun and meet new people.
You may post anything BUT Betty Boops (I am so tired of BOOPS LOL)
Post child friendly sites,recipes,poems etc.. as long as it is not Adult
Material.
We may even play a game or two.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Anything-Butt-Boops/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learn A Language in 10 Days
The entire Pimsleur Approach is what language learning should be:
quick, fun, and easy! Many travelers have a hard time translating
while they are on vacation in some of the most beautiful countries.
Dr. Pimsleur designed each lesson as the foundation for the next. In
other words, you'll keep building on what you've previously learned.
Best of all, the Pimsleur course does not waste your time by
cramming grammar down your throat. Learn a new language today and
travel abroad!
17 Languages available.
http://buffaloschips.com/language
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sheep Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old Oxford professor is nearing retirement and decides that he wants to
do something fun for once. He's spent his whole life researching scientific
theories in his lab and wants to do something outside for a change, so he
asks his assistant for a suggestion of something different to go and
research. This assistant is a bit of a git and decides he'll play a prank
on the old man, and suggests he research 'sheep shagging'. The professor
thinks this is a great idea and heads off to Wales to begin his research.He
heads out to the countryside and finds a farmer to quiz about his unnatural
habits.
The professor greets him and asks if he's got time to answer a couple of
quick questions. "No problem boyo" says the farmer, "go right ahead.
"Well," said the professor, "what I'd like to know first is, do you own any
sheep here?" "Of course boyo, biggest farm for miles round here I have.
We've got loads of 'em" "Great, now the next question is a bit personal - do
you use your sheep for sex?"
"Ohh, too right boyo. There's three or four out there who are my particular
favourites." "So, how exactly do you .... do it?" "Well, normally I take
them down to the river, I slap their back feet in my wellies, the sheep
pushes back from the water, bloody heaven boyo"
The professor thanks him and heads for the airport. Having heard about the
Kiwis, he heads out to New Zealand with exactly the same plan. He finds a
farm, talks to the farmer and gets the same responses. "Round up the sheep,
head 'em up towards a cliff and off you go. Back feet in my boots, sheep
pushing back from the cliff, bloody marvelous mate." Again, the professor
thanks him and decides that his research needs only one more addition. So
he jets off to the world centre of sheep shagging, Australia. Once in
Australia, he drives out to the bush, finds the biggest farm he can and
knocks on the farmhouse door. He repeats his questions to the farmer "Too
right mate. Usually I stick their back legs in me wellies, front legs over
me shoulders and away we go!" "So the sheep faces you?
That's strange - I've been talking to people around the world about this,
and they all do it with the sheep facing away from them." The Aussie is
shocked. For a few seconds he can't speak, then he manages to stutter:
"What? No kissing?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Martha Stewart
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t028.html
Eminem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t029.html
false advertising
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t030.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soap Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All I Need to Know About Life, I Learned at
Melrose Place
1. If your "significant other" leaves town for
more than a week, sleep with whomever
you want. After all, you can't be expected
to wait around forever.
2. Never sleep with your boss or co-worker.
Just kidding. You should do both, often.
3. A good way to unwind after a hard day at
the office is to build a fire, curl up with a good
book, and rapidly drink seven large glasses
of straight vodka.
4. Every once in a while, just go ahead and
slap somebody in the face, really hard.
5. Pretend you're pregnant.
6. Feeling a little insecure? Buy a gun!
7. If marriage isn't working, consider a divorce.
If divorce isn't convenient, fake your own death.
8. Don't walk too fast when feigning blindness.
9. Never base a relationship on lies and deceit.
Just kidding! Dishonesty should be an integral
part of any relationship.
10. When you leave someone to die of carbon
monoxide poisoning, be sure to shut the door
tightly on your way out.
11. Don't date drug dealers...unless they're really good-looking...
or have a lot of money...or unless you can gain something from it in
someway...or... oh hell, go ahead and date drug dealers.
12. Don't get too close to people in comas.
Sometimes they wake up and try to choke
you.
13. If you get fired, get drunk.
14. Call your ex-wife "Baby."
15. If you've got to fix your Harley, you might as
well take off your shirt and do it by the pool.
16. Randomly insult the people around you.
17. Parents will be parents. Sometimes they'll
nag. Sometimes they'll be judgmental.
Sometimes they'll commit you to a miserable
insane asylum where you'll be bound in a
straightjacket and heavily sedated.
18. If you lose your job, wait a few minutes and
you'll get an even better job
at twice the salary.
19. A good way to aggravate your sister is to
tell her that Mom liked you best. Another good
way is to sleep with her husband a bunch of
times.
20. Just because you're in the midst of ruining
someone's career doesn't mean that you can't
car-pool to work with them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rotoshave - The World's #1 Electric Razor
Rotoshave gives you the closest shave you'll ever get in 90 seconds. With
its patented multi-angled blade technology and curved head design it adjusts
to your shape while giving you a safe and smooth shave.
Offer includes two cartridges, travel case, personal grooming kit and
demonstration DVD.
Get More Info
http://buffaloschips.com/rotosha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What did the dirty old tramp say to a bunch of
school girls?
"Hey girls, do you wanna go turkey shootin?"
"OK" came the reply.
"Good, you gobble I'll shoot."
~~~~
Bill asks Doug to go with him for a drink.
Doug replies, "Sorry Bill, I have to go to the drugstore to pick up
a 'patch' subscription for my wife. She's quitting smoking today."
"Oh okay, well, good luck to her!" Bill said.
"Yeah, well it is really lucky me," grinned Doug. "I told her to let
me know any time she has an urge to put something in her mouth to
suck on."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bare Lifts - Invisible Bra Support
Bare Lifts is the invisible solution to a naturally perky look. Wear them
with any outfit, dress or swimsuit. They give you proper shape and support
and lasts up to 24 hours. Just place, peel, lift and go - it's that simple.
Bare Lifts works on all cup sizes A-D and you can forget spending hundreds
on specialty bras and lift systems.
Buy 1, Get 1 on us - order today.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/lifts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rabbit Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The newlyweds had been married only a few months but she realized that the
magic had gone from the marriage.
As he sat at the breakfast table, head buried in the newspaper, she cried
"What's wrong, honey? What am I doing wrong? What's missing from our
marriage?"
"Hasenpheffer!" he exclaimed.
"Hasenpheffer? What's Hasenpheffer?" she asked.
"Well, its kinda like a rabbit stew in a tomato sauce. My mom used to cook
me the greatest Hasenpheffer all the time. You never cook me Hasenpheffer."
"That's it?" she cried, fantasies of marital bliss rushing through her mind.
"Honey, when you get home tonight, you're gonna have the best Hasenpheffer
you ever tasted!"
"Great, honey." he said as he left for work. "I can hardly wait."
So she gets her "Joy of Cooking" and finds a great Hasenpheffer recipe,
makes a shopping list and as she heads for the door the phone rings. Its
her girlfriend Mavis and like a typical woman she winds up spending the rest
of the morning and part of the afternoon gossiping on the phone.
Suddenly she realizes the time and, fearing her dreams of connubial bliss
are in serious jeopardy, hangs up the phone, jumps in the car and speeds to
the supermarket.
She grabs a rabbit from the butcher, gets a bottle of tomato sauce, swiftly
grabs the requisite vegetables and spices, and rushes through the check-out
counter.
As she dashes out to her car, she catches her heel on the curb, stumbles,
and drops the grocery bag on the ground. Looking at the mess on the ground,
she realizes that her marriage is surely doomed and sits down on the curb
and starts to cry hysterically.
Up walks a drunk, sees the bawling lady, looks at the mess between her legs
and says, "Don't cry lady. He woulda been an idiot, anyway. Just look at
his ears!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The most flexible light you've ever seen. Each Hug Light tip has 2
super-bright LED's, one focused beam and one wide beam, so its right
for any job. The foam-covered steel alloy arms are strong enough to
hold the beam steady, yet flexible enough to point the light
precisely where you need it. Theyre so flexible, you can even coil
the Hug Light like a snake and stand it up.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/huglight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Halloween Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BJ original Halloween do's and don'ts
If you hear a noise, and your companion says it's nothing, it is
something, get the heck out, run!
If you see a shadow where a shadow is not supposed to happen, run
for your car and get away.
If you friend wants to investigate that 'noise' in the basement, let
him. You get in the car and drive away.
If you car doesn't start in the woods, just kill yourself, you going
to die anyway.
For the girls: When you investigate a noise, put on a robe and turn
the lights on. In the movies, the girls always are half naked and
walk into a room where it is dark....but they never walk out.
You hear heavy breathing behind you....do not look back, sprint ...
run for your life forward.
A hand reaches from the grave and grabs your right foot. Use your
left foot and stomp the crap out of it and run for your life.
A vampire is stalking you....You tell it..."Dude I have AIDS"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HIP REPLACEMENT RECALL CENTER
Thousands of Hips have been recalled due to failure!
If you or a loved one have used this product and experienced adverse
effects, you may be eligible for compensation.
Follow here and get a Free Private Case Evaluation:
http://buffaloschips.com/hip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Endangered Wolf
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolf.html
carolyn w/ Beyond The Sunset
http://tinyurl.com/yfsrjuw
Melva sharing from Carol/Inside Your Heart
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/GC/I_H.html
God's Little Love Notes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/notes.html
Love Test
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
The Shadowlands: Ghosts and Hauntings Via Wesley
http://theshadowlands.net/ghost/
Daily With Our Troops #3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily3.html
Common Misspelled Words
http://www.businesswriting.com/tests/commonmisspelled.html
Treat Yourself to a SPA!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/topspas.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Halloween Graphics
Gargoyle, ghost, Halloween+pumpkins, Haunted House
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_f-j.html
Monsters -[Frankenstein - Mummy - Warewolf] Moon
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_k-o.html
Pumpkin, Scooby, Trick Or Treat
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html
Vampire, Witch, Wolf, Words:Boo, Words:Hallo
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Kitty Korner
http://www.porzcat.de/start/starte.php
Endangered Wolf
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolf.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Mouse in Her Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acdhhdd.htm
Movie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abghyy.htm
Movie 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acccd.htm
High Fireman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfdd.htm
Milt Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dffrf.htm
Lucky 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsdhdjd.htm
Lucky 3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjs.htm
Lucky 4
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshslkssjs.htm
Magic 1320
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdhdjd.htm
Magic Food
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdhdjssaa.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cruise Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3
Survivors; Bob, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of
years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely
horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad that she
killed herself.
It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get through it. After a while,
Bob and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable
happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Bob and Tom began to feel absolutely
horrible about what they were doing.
So, they buried Susie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
archie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jjfjff.htm
area
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hfhfhfjedk.htm
army's slogan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdsdgsg.htm
army
http://www.buffaloschips.com/djsjdjkk.htm
Arnold
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fwetwtw.htm
art
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ppappap.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BedBug Out - Don't Let the Bedbugs BiteReduce Bedbugs and other pests
in as soon as 2 weeks. Rid your home of pests, dust mites and bedbugs
quick and without harmful chemicals.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschips.com/bedbu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady stockbroker quite hetera'
Decided her fortune to bettera.
On the floor, quite unclad,
She successively had
Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner, et cetera...
********************************
There was a girl from Cape Cod,
Who thought all babies came from God.
But it wasn't the Almighty,
Who lifted her nighty,
'Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!
********************************
There once was an OB named Randy,
Whose rapport with young patients was dandy;
To get their feet high
In the stirrups, he'd try
Distraction, by giving them candy.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball
Mesmerize the mind and confuse the senses. Fushigi is an incredible,
therapeutic form of relaxation. The art of maneuvering a clear, reflective
sphere through mind and body isolation and manipulation creates the illusion
that the sphere is moving on its own.
Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/fushi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on
a rolling bed by the nurse and brought to the corridor.
Before they enter the room, the nurse leaves her behind the surgery room
door and goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man, wearing
a white coat, approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her
naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The
second man comes over and performs the same examination. When a third man
starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says, "All
these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start
the operation?" The man in the white coat shrugs his shoulders, "I have no
idea. We're just painting the corridor."
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do You Have a CuteKid? Check out
http://buffaloschips.com/cutek
The CuteKid of the Year is the world's largest and most respected
professionally judged child and baby photo contest.
Does your kid have what it takes to get spotted? Register for free and enter
the contest to win!
The CuteKid is the largest & most respected baby & child photo
contest & resource for getting your kid into the modeling & talent
business... while awarding great cash prizes.
In the last year alone, CuteKids have worked with Sesame Street,
Wilhelmina Models, the March of Dimes charity, GAP, Parents magazine
& many more thanks to opportunities found on The CuteKid.
CuteKids have been signed to top agencies such as Generation Model
Management & The Campbell Agency by being spotted by carefully screened
agents on the site.
We've partnered with some of the biggest names out there to become a #1
resource for parents with CuteKids.
-Get top modeling advice on The CuteKid from Former Ford agent, model & TV
personality, Judy Goss.
-Expert photo advice from The Nation's Top Child Photographer,
Jade Albert.
-Be seen by our pro industry judges, such as Carrie Haugh, Freelance
Casting for "Sesame Street", Ryan Prescott, Marketing Dir. for
"Carter's", Johnnie Raines, Casting Supervisor for "Supernanny", &
more!
Get into the 2010 CuteKid of the Year contest now giving away over $100,000
in cash and prizes!
http://buffaloschips.com/cutek
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1901
Katie and the Dog Run
BJ had to leave Katie in the dog run Friday through Sunday afternoon and
here is what happened. The dog run runs the length of the house and has
four dog houses, two gallons of water, 10 lbs of dog food and probably about
500 sq feet of running room, plenty of space for a doggie.
Friday: 7:30 am Katie: Oh boy, I have a can of dog food. The weather is
great
this is going to be a fun day.
Friday: 7 pm Katie: Hmm, I wonder where father is. This is not his
bowling
night. He has already done his church thing. Maybe he is visiting friends.
Yes
that is it, he is visiting friends. He will be home soon.
Friday: 10 pm Katie: Okay, he is not visiting friends. He should be home
by
now. Maybe he won free movie tickets. Yes, that is it. I might as well
take a
nap.
Saturday: 7 am Katie: Okay, this is not funny. My coffee is in the
house. My
cellphone is in the house. Father is not home. No TV. This is barbaric!
Sunday: 7 am Katie: Abandoned.. No hope. Left to die. I have made my
last
will and testament. I have made a crude H E L P sign with the blankets in
hope
that a passing plane will see my plight.
Sunday: 4 pm Katie: FATHER's Home!!! Yay! All is well. He is bringing
me a
can of dog food. Hip hip horray for father! What a guy!
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment