Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It is 35 outside right now, sunny and calm, much too nice to be
sitting in front of the computer. The weather forecast show
more of the same for the next week. That's the only thing wrong
with living here is that the weather is predictable enough to
give you a wide margin of safety. There are no surprise tornadoes,
hurricanes, and we haven't had an earthquake in recordable history.
The only quake we get up here is when some idiot goes by
in his Dodge Durango with a 35,000 watt stereo. That's also the
same idiot that complains to OSHA that noise on the job is causing
hearing loss.
The reason I am mentioning this is that at the moment Haiti
is still trying to deal with a quake that had great loss of life and
Japan and Chili have had major quakes in the last day and
Hawaii is waiting for a tsunami to hit that isn't big but it is
moving faster than a 747. I am glad that life is boring, 40 years
ago I'd probably be headed for the beach to watch the wave
come in, nevermind the fact that I am a poor swimmer. Ah
to be young and stupid again, beats old and stupid any day.
Enjoy the chips and if you are in Hawaii please move your
computer to higher ground.
buffalo
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Race Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bloke was having a few drinks by himself at a casino when he met
up with a striking but quite small and slim young woman.
They got on famously and ended up in bed.
She told him she was a jockey and that, if he came to the races at
Randwick that day, she'd tip him the winner of each race she was
riding in by giving him a sign as she rode out of the saddling
paddock.
In race 2, she rode out rubbing both her breasts.
The bloke looked through the race book and found "Two Abreast" on
which he placed $100 at 5 to 1. It won by 2 lengths.
"Shit, this is great he thought. In race 4, she rode out rubbing
her fingers around her eyes.
He put the lot on "Eyeliner" at 10 to 1 and was 5 grand in front.
In the last race she came out standing in the stirrups and rubbing
her crotch.
He backed nothing. After the races he met up with her and thanked
her for the winners in races 2 & 4.
"What about "Itchy Mickey" in the last at 66-1?" she asked.
"Shit, he said, "I thought you were telling me the cunt was
scratched".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A MICHIGAN Wife"
Three men married wives from different states.
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to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but
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The second man married a woman from Missouri . He gave his wife
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the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a
little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he
could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alaska Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jon lived in Anchorage, Alaska. Right downtown. His house
was literally right downtown. But he had no indoor plumbing.
He did, however, have an outhouse. The older he got, though,
the further away it seemed to get.
One night, he decided to just skip the trip. Instead, he
decided to just relieve himself right there off the front porch.
His wife was pretty pissed about his decision. "Jon, you
moron. Our neighbors can see you when you do this, you know."
He'd not given THAT scenario much thought, so he promised
his wife he'd not do it again.
Not too many nights later, though, it turned bitterly cold.
Right in the middle of the night he had to piss like a race
horse. He got up, put on his slippers, and headed out of the
bedroom to do his business.
He was back in two shakes (so to speak). His wife,
suspicious as wives are apt to be, said, "You weren't gone
very long."
"That's right."
"You went off the porch again, didn't you?"
"Yes, I did."
"We had a talk about this, remember? The neighbors could
see you, right. They'll know it was you and what you're doing
out there."
"Naw, they won't know it's me! This time I was squatting down!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Labrador retrievers-one brown, one yellow and one black-were
sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they struck up
a conversation.
The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown lab replied, "I'm a wetter. I wet on everything-the sofa,
the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night
when I wet in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the
vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."
The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you
here?"
The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up
flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside,
I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in
my owner's couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.
"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.
The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you
at the vet's office?"
"I'm a humper," the black lab said "I'll hump anything. I'll hump
the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to
hump everything I see.
Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending
down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on
her back and started humping away."
The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So,
Prozac for you too, huh?"
The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Confucius says, "Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with
solution in hand."
It was at the office party. They lay on the office reception couch
in the darkened room, their breath came hot and fast, as he hammered
her pussy. "Oh, Melvin, oh Melvin, I'm cumming again!" she said
passionately. "You've never made love to me like this before. Is it
because of the holiday spirit?" "No," he panted. "It is probably
because I am not Melvin!"
New girl friends like a fresh roll of toilet paper. It may be hard
to get the first piece, but after that you can rip one off anytime.
Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in
Virginia where I work. They accidentally walked up to the offices
where hunting licenses are sold. "We're from out-of-state,
prospective groom. "Can we get a license?" The clerk replied, "No,
but I can give you a three-day permit."
Giving a blow job a win/lose situation. He may have you on your
knees, but you have him by the balls.
Jill had been divorced for a few years and, very lonely, finally
consented to going out on a date with John, the gentleman her son
fixed her up with. John picked her up and they went on a picnic in a
very secluded spot. John also had been divorced for a long time and
found himself very attracted to Jill, and despite her resistance at
first to his advances, he finally was able to make love to her. Jill
was mortified at her lack of self-control and sobbed, "I don't know
how I can face my son, knowing that in a time of weakness I sinned
twice!" John said, "What do you mean 'twice'? We only did it once!"
Jill looked at John and said, "Well, we're going to do it again,
aren't we?"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wedding Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There lived some years ago in western PA., an old circuit preacher,
Father West, by name whose genial humor and general kindness had
greatly endeared him to all the people of his district. He was a
particular favorite with the young fold matrimonially inclined, and
his opportunities to "tie the knot"
were numerous.
On one occasion, he found upon his arrival at a certain town several
couples awaiting his blessing. The old man was tired and wished to
make short work of the job.
"Stand up," he began, "and jine hands." Which being done, he rattled
through a marriage service, that like himself was original.
"There," he said, when it was finished, "ye can go. Ye're man and
wife, ev'ry one o' ye."
Two of the couples hesitated and finally made it apparent that in
the sudden "jining" they had taken the hands of the wrong persons.
The old preacher's eyes twinkled as he took in the situation, but he
instantly straightened up, and with a wave of his hand dispersed
them "I married ye all," he said, "Sort yourselves."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Daybreak Sheds The Dark
http://silverandgol
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
carolyn w/ Young Love
http://carolynsprec
Dancing Friend
http://www.carolspo
His Time
http://www.reflecti
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Surfin Surfari
Mushroom Basics
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Talk To A Human When You Call A Company
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Humor In Politics 4
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Humor In Religion 2
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Paperback Book Exchange
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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advantage of this:
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morning.....
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
PHP or PERL?
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Oqo
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Everything Mac
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Animal World
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Subject:
Sensitivity Training
http://www.buffalos
Serv 3 Chunk
http://www.buffalos
Sex In The Future
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Short Dip
http://www.buffalos
Singing Monkey
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Dirty Sneakers
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Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
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Dog In Trance
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Don't Eat While Driving
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Energy Star
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stranded Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man stranded on a desert island comes across
a woman who has washed up onto shore. The
man helps the woman and welcomes her to the island.
Later on that day, the woman says, "I don't suppose
you smoked before you were stranded on this island,
did you?"
The man explains that he did smoke before becoming
stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a
cigarette from her bag, and they enjoy a smoke together.
A little later, the woman says, "I don't suppose
you drank before you were stranded on this island,
did you?"
The man explains that he did drink before becoming
stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a
flask from her bag, and they enjoy a drink together.
Some time later, the woman says, "So, you've been
on this island for ten years without a woman, huh?"
"That's right," says the man.
The woman continue, "I don't suppose you'd like to
play around?"
"Good Lord, lady," exclaimed the man, "you have
a set of golf clubs in that bag, too?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finger nails
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Lard Ass
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Back Face
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Royal Stuck-up
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Typing
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Book of Mormon
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Big Nutz
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Customs
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Fishing
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn
Though he diddled his best,
And fucked her with zest
She kept asking, "hey Pop, is it in?"
____________
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bow Peep was giving him head.
As soon as he came, she started to weep,
She knew by the taste
he'd been fucking her sheep.
____________
There was a young bishop from Trest,
Who openly practiced incest.
"My sisters and nieces,
Are all dandy pieces,
And don't cost a cent," he confessed.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other,
outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a
little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that
done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up
they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision.
And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done
when I was born...
Couldn't walk for a year....
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Order one today and get a second one at no charge.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the washroom in the airport, I saw a handwritten sign posted
over one of those hot air hand dryers. It read, "Please push button
and listen for a short message from the President!"
There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of fresh shit to give
you that true Obama presence!! --
Patricia
"A shocking new report shows that 83,000 people who took the
diabetes drug Avandia suffered heart attacks. But Avandia is trying
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Toyotas with stuck accelerator pedals."
- Jake Novak
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1239
It's the Cheese Man
BJ has popped some popcorn, his favorite the pour over Chedder
cheese kind and the dogs are huddling close to him.
BJ tosses one to Rudy.... Chomp..
one to Sandi...Chomp.
one to Katie...Pitoey!
BJ: What is the matter with the one I gave you Katie?
Katie: It did not have any cheese on it.
BJ: What? Rudy and Sandi do not care if the popcorn has cheese or
not.
Katie: Tsk tsk, I am not them. I prefer cheese on my popcorn.
BJ: Egads, what a monster I have created.
Rudy: I will take her popcorn if she doesn't want it.
Sandi: Me to.
BJ: Well Katherine...
Katie: Well I have my standards I must uphold.
BJ: Oh give me strength.
The herd in Guthrie
(for real, Katie will spit out the popcorn if it does not have
cheese
on it)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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