THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Words have no wings but they can
fly a thousand miles.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Old man winter is not through with us yet.
It had to raise its ugly head with more fluffy
white here in beautiful West Michigan again,
yesterday. Want to know what two feet of snow
look like? Thought you might like to see
just for curiousity sake...
I woke up after a couple hours of sleep last night.
Had a pain in my back that would just not quit.
So, I got up and for a good portion of time, composed
this edition of the page standing up. It was the
only way that it did not hurt. Believe it or not,
this is a good thing. It shows the war department
that I am NOT a pain in the a** like she thinks,
She has the wrong part of the anatomy:)
Anyways, you don't want to hear about my aches and
pains, so lets have some jokes!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
so long Superman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o010.html
jolly green giant
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o011.html
black tie affair
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o012.html
old computer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o013.html
have you tried that new Iphone application?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o014.html
a good reason to live in the tropics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o015.html
no thanks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o016.html
hooked up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o017.html
t shirts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o018.html
a thief
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o019.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Jimmy Grey's igloo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9152.html
nature
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9153.html
grizzlies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9154.html
Billie Jean dancing senior citizens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9155.html
table cloth prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9156.html
transport Canada
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9157.html
the ketchup bottle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9158.html
_____________
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls
getaway trip - shopping, casinos, massages, facials..
Two days before the group is to leave, Mary's husband
puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going. Mary's
friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find
Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.
"Wow, how long you been here and how did you talk your
husband into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening
I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind
me and put his hands over my eyes and said 'Guess who'?"
I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was
his birthday suit." "He took my hand and lead me to our
bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen
candles and rose petals all over. On the bed, he had
handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to
the bed, so I did." "And then he said, 'Now, you can
do whatever you want.' So here I am."
________________
Little Johnny went to his first school dance. He didn't
know if he would ever get up the nerve to ask a girl out
to dance. As the night went on everybody was dancing except
Little Johnny. He just sat in the corner looking at everyone
having fun. Finally as the last song started to play Little
Johnny spotted two very cute girls across the room sitting at
their table. He walked over and asked one if she would like
to dance. She looked him up and down and said "I am sorry but
I am very particular with whom I dance."
Little Johnny being the smart boy that he is, replied,
"You can damn well see that I am not."
_______________
Murphy's Rules of Sex
~ Never have sex with a stranger unless you are
stranger than them.
~ Abstain from wine, women, and song mostly song.
~ Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
~ A woman never forgets the men she could have had a man, the
women he couldn't.
~ It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
___________
Vicky was at a business conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect.
Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger's
voice say, "We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?"
Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging
outside screaming, "Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!"
______________
It was the first day of school, and the elementary school
teacher was establishing the fact
that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.
While taking the roll, she was told
by one boy "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer". So she said
"There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny;
tell me your REAL name!". The kid said "No, really teacher,
it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to
fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!"
Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing,
the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the
fourth grade classroom door. The fourth grade teacher
had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment,
so she entered the room and directly asked the class
"Do you have a Fuckhauer in here?" "Hell no!"
replied a little kid from the front row,
"We don't even get a cookie break!"
___________
FUN PAGES
Unbelievably Strange But True
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=40998&s=n
D Day Normandy
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41588&s=n
Dancing Yoda
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20494&s=n
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Pregnant
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32804.htm
Disgusting
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32805.htm
Bob Barker
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32806.htm
__________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Holding It In Toilet
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000726.html
Home Alone
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000727.html
Home Depot Ad
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000728.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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