THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"The reason why worry kills more people than work
is that more people worry than work."
~Robert Frost
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
You ever think about health care waste?
what with all the talk about so called "health
reform", I wonder why this is not addressed
more often than it is? For example. My ins. offers
coverage of one eye exam per year. They say that
is important for a diabetic, having his eyes
checked yearly. But at 75 bux for a visit, and I have
to pay only 15 bux, I still wonder. I can tell
for myself if my eyes have gotten worse. I pick
up the phone book every year in January. If I
can still read it, my eyes are ok. Why am I sposta
pay a doctor to tell me what I already know?
Same thing with the newspaper. I look in the
obituaries. I can read em. Eyes are ok, and it
also proves something else: I'm not dead, and that
must mean I am healthy enough to keep living.
See? no need for a physical, either. I can
also go to the the over the counter rack and buy a
five dollar pair of non prescription magnifier
type glasses at Walmart that will do just as well
as the 400 dollar prescription glasses my optomitrist
wants to sell me. But that's
another story. Anyways, the other day the phone
rings, its the eye doctor's office.
"This is Cyndi from So and so's office.
Time to schedule your yearly eye exam."
"Well, ok, how bout next Monday or Tuesday,
maybe in the morning?"
Big sigh, and she says, "You don't understand,
your last yearly exam was in the first week of
July last year, so we need to make the appointment
for this coming July." July???????WTF??? who
knows what they are doing in JULY????? So I said
"What's your first name again?"
"Cindy"
"Look, Cindy, tell you what, on July 1st, I'll pick up
the obituaries in the good ole newspaper.
If I don't see your name or my name in
there, I'll call you, and set one up, ok?"
She was laughing so hard when we hung up she was
unable to voice any objections.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
when I grow up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o030.html
the doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o031.html
Mr. Riley
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o032.html
a nice pear?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o033.html
closing up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o034.html
a patch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o035.html
a last name
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o036.html
caution
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o037.html
first date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o038.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
crazy police chase
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9166.html
police chase/pit manouver gone bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9167.html
police take down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9168.html
defective merchandise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9169.html
dancing with the stars:)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9170.html
ski jumper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9171.html
squirrels
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9172.html
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes
a wonderful stroke of luck. The elementary school
teacher was trying impress upon the seventh-grade
history class how Native Americans must have felt when
they first encountered the Spanish explorers.
"How would you feel," said she, "if someone showed up
on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a
strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't
you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one boy answered,
"I'd just figure it was my sister's date..."
______________
Seems this Catholic priest was feeling despondent
over being posted to a dry, desert parish. He wrote
letters to his bishop constantly, requesting that he
be posted somewhere more hospitable. No reply to his
letters ever came, and soon the letters stopped.
Some time later, when the archbishop was making the
rounds of the rural churches, he stopped in to see how
the unhappy priest was doing. He found a pleasant man,
in an air-conditioned church. There were no parishioners,
since the closest neighbors were many miles away.
The archbishop admitted to some confusion, since the
priest did not look like the desperate writer of so many
letters. He asked the priest how he liked it out in the desert.
"At first I was unhappy. But thanks to two things I have
grown to love it out here in the sparse desert."
"And they are?" the archbishop inquired.
"The first is my Rosary. Without my Rosary I wouldn't
make it a day out here.""And the second?"
At this the priest looked askance. "Well, to be honest,
I have developed a taste for martinis in the afternoon.
They help to alleviate the heat during the worst part
of the day." He looked sheepish at this admission,
but the archbishop just smiled."Martinis, eh? Well,
that's not so bad. In fact, I'd be glad to share one
with you right now, if you don't mind that is."
"Not at all!" the priest exulted. "Let me get one for
you right away." Turning to the back of the church,
the priest shouted, "Oh, Rosary..."
____________
An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly
she had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and
sprayed the air with an Avon pine scented deodorizer.
Two floors later, a gentleman got on the elevator.
He began to sniff, and the Avon lady asked,
"Do you smell something?"
"Well, yes I do," he replied.
"What does it smell like?" she asked.
The bemused gentleman answered, "I'm not sure, but
it kind of smells like someone shit under a Christmas tree."
_____________
The mother of a large family was explaining why she
dresses her children alike, right down to the youngest
baby."When we had just four children, I dressed them
alike so we wouldn't lose any of them.""Now," she added,
looking around at her brood of nine, "I dress them
alike so we won't pick up any that don't belong to us."
_____________
A saleswoman was traveling along this Arkansas road
when her car broke down near a farmhouse. She went
to the farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could
put her up for the night until her car was fixed.
"Sure," he said, "but you have to sleep with my son
because we only have two bedrooms. By the way,
he suffers from tight skin."
She asked if it was contagious and he said no,
so they went to sleep.
When she woke up in the morning the bed was full of
crap, and she screamed. The farmer came running
into the room and asked what was wrong.
"This bed is full of shit!" she yelled.
"I told you last night that he suffered from tight
skin," said the farmer.
"Just what the hell is tight skin, anyway?" she asked.
The farmer said, "When he closes his eyes
his asshole opens up!"
______________
Travel tips
Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a
Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo".
Consider carefully before visiting a country where
the license plate motto is "Die American Pig".
There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent
to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.
If you find yourself in Iran, do not use the word blanket-head.
On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an interpreter.
While in the Vatican, do not refer to St. Peter as "Petey-Boy."
Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.
____________
A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at
the door. She goes to the door and opens the door
to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady "Do you have a vagina?"
She slams the door in disgust...
The next morning she hears a knock at the door,
it is the same man,
and he asks the same question of the woman
Do you have a vagina?"
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she
tells him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells the wife in a loving
and concerned voice "Honey, I am taking tomorrow
off to be home just in case this guy shows up again".
The next morning they hear a knock at the door
and both run for the door.. The husband says to
the wife in a whispered voice, "Honey, I'm going
to hide behind the door and listen. If it is the
same guy I want you to answer yes to
the question because I want to see where he is
going with it.."She nods yes to her husband,
and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is
standing there and asks the same question.
"Do you have a vagina?"......... "Yes" she says......
The man replies "Good! Would you mind telling your husband to
leave my wife's alone and start using yours?"
FUN PAGES
Adriana Lima Compilation
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20495&s=n
World's Oldest Cat
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=34657&s=n
10 Insane De-Motivationals
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41133&s=n
________________
Buffalo Bill
Helicopter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/09i.htm
Hilarious Prank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5t6r.htm
Hombres
http://www.buffaloschips.com/juyg.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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