[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 2-2

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

From The Archives

I must apologize. We attempted to provide herd
members in this area with an accurate forecast
for the remainder of winter but it just didn't
work out. AS you may know we are two weeks
behind Pennsylvania here so when Punxsutawney Phil
sees his shadow and claims there is only six week
left, there are really 8 weeks back here. Our
big problem was lack of a ground hog. To begin
with Groundhog Guild is siding with their brothers
in the Screen writers Guild and honoring their
picket lines. As you may guess from what I just
said Phil is a Scab or non-union Groundhog riding
on the backs of past generations of Groundhogs
that organized and provided better wages, benefits,
and working conditions for Groundhogs everywhere.

To make matters worse the union was already mad at
me because the Groundhog I had last year got ran
over by a snow plow as he came out of his hole. The
Union requested 800.00 in burial fees which I refused
to pay as the body was never found. Even worse I didn't
have the option of using a Scab Groundhog like Phil
because Buffy and her friend ran over a non-union
Groundhog last summer and instead of taking it for
medical care they gave it to the police who took it
around the corner and used it for target practice
and then tried to cover it up by saying he had a warrant
and tried to escape.

I tried a last minute call to the Fraternal Order of
Chipmunks and Squirrels and they were able to send me
a large Grey Squirrel. We set up on the back deck and
waited for the sun to come out and just as the squirrel
stepped out to the sun rising in the East, a large
chunk of ice fell off the roof and flattened him. The
union is not returning my calls and there are vans from
the SPCA and OSHA outside and 60 minutes will probably be
next. I have had it, no more live animals will be
sacrificed here in the name of weather reporting, I
am having a stuffed groundhog prepared for next year.

Enjoy the chips and the next eight weeks of winter..

buffalo

P.S. I did actually go out this morning with my stuffed ground
hog from the Caddy Shack movie and he cast a shadow as he was
singing I'm Alright in the sunlight from the clear cold skies. Then
his batteries froze and he stopped moving much the same as a
real ground hog would if they were dumb enough to get up
in this weather.

P.P.S 2010 Update Since no animal wants to participate in a Ground
Hog Day's celebration this year I decided to use a nice inanimate
object
instead. A suitable replacement was the fire hydrant that is just
down the
street from my house. It was about the right height, had it's own
hole in the
ground it came out of, and most important, the city keeps them dug
out
in the winter, I guess so the dogs will have someplace to go other
than
on the clean white snow.
I took a look at the weather though, an as you can see there is no
Ground
Hog or fire hydrant that will see its shadow in the morning.

For Sault Ste Marie... at 6 am...mostly cloudy. Scattered flurries.
Temperature around 13. Light winds. At 8 am...mostly cloudy.
Temperature around 14. Light winds. At 10 am...mostly cloudy.

Another good reason for a ground hog to stay in bed was on the Food
Page
of today's paper.

Take gun (.22 cal is good). Load with bullets and accurately fire at
head [we're assuming the groundhog's head, not your own].

Skin groundhog and gut him. Clean out carcass with water hose.

Cut critter into quarters.

Make up a big batch of your favorite marinade (make sure it has oil
and vinegar to help tenderize the groundhog).

Throw marinade and critter pieces into plastic trash bag and
marinade around 2 to 3 days in the refrigerator.

Take out marinated critter pieces and throw on the grill on low
heat. Cook until rare to medium rare. Do not overcook, critter will
dry out.

And no one likes their critter dry.

Ah Gourmet eating at Uncle Jed's

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Fireman Chips
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There was a fireman who was very regimental and did everything by
the bell. He gets married and on his honeymoon night explains this
to his new wife.

Fireman: "Honey, I do everything by the bell, so when we hear one
bell (ding), we run upstairs; two bells (ding ding), we get
undressed and; three bells (ding ding ding) we make wild passionate
love."

Wife: "OK sweetheart, I understand."

So the night goes on and soon you hear one bell (ding) they run
upstairs; two bells (ding ding) they get undressed and; three bells
they start making wild, passionate love to each other. All of a
sudden...

Wife: "Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding."

Fireman: "Honey, honey, what's that for?"

Wife: "More hose, more hose."

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Fishing
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000672.html

Fishing With Moses
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000673.html

Fitness On Bus
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000674.html

Frank's surprise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l003.html

the bee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l004.html

blind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l005.html

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Random Chips
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Some times it's difficult for disabled people to find jobs, so I was
happy to hear from Terry, a paraplegic who used a manual wheelchair,
that he had a job. Terry said he worked in a strip club, taking back
the clothes after the women had left the stage. I asked him what the
money was like. 'Twenty bucks a week,' he told me. 'That's not
much,' was my comment. 'That's all I could afford!' he replied.

When their first grandchild was born, Minnie asked her husband Earl,
'Well, Earl, how does it feel to he a grandfather?" Earl replied,
"Oh, it feels wonderful, of course, Now what feels strange is that
I'll have to get used to the idea of sleeping with a grandmother.

Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia. One day,
the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who were about to
leave and seek their way in life. "You have led a very sheltered
life and you are going into an extremely sinful world." she said. "I
must warn you that men will take advantage of you. They'll do
anything to get their way. They'll take you to restaurants, buy you
drinks and dinner, then back to their apartments and motels where
they'll undress you, do terrible things, give you twenty or thirty
dollars and kick you out." "Excuse me, Mother." one of the girls
asked. "You mean men will take advantage of us and give us CASH?"
"Yes child, why do you ask?" "Because the priests only give us
Candy!"

I've been to many debutante balls and the girls all wear low-cut
gowns. It's very clear why they call them "Coming out parties."

Stan Kegel

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Random Chips
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"If there was a 'Bi-Sexual Pride' parade, would it go both ways?"

A middle-aged woman seemed timid as she visited her gynecologist.
"Come now," coaxed the doctor, "you've been seeing me for years!
There's nothing you can't tell me." "This one's kind of strange..."

said the woman. "Let me be the judge of that," the doctor replied.
"Well," said the woman, "Yesterday I went to the bathroom in the
morning and I heard a plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down,

the water was full of pennies." "Mmmm, I see." said the, doctor.
"That
afternoon I went again and there were nickels in the bowl."
"Uh-huh."
the doctor said as he got more and more interested in her story.
"That
night," she went on, "there were dimes and this morning there were
quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!" she implored.

"I'm scared out of my wits!" The gynecologist put a comforting hand
on
her shoulder. "There is nothing to be frightened about. You're
simply
going through the change."

95% of all people have hemorrhoids. The other 5% are perfect
assholes!

A man goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks the assistant
for
an inflatable doll. "Would you like male of female?" "Female,
please."
"Would you like Black, or White?" "White, Please." "Would you like
Christian or Muslim?" This question confused the man and he replied,

"What has the religion got to do with it? It's an inflatable doll!"

"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"

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Random Chips
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Little Johnny is sitting on the front porch steps, and his
17-year-old sister is sitting in the swing in a dress with no
panties. She notices Johnny trying to get a look up her dress so
she picks up her knees and spreads her legs and asked "Johnny, what
do you think about my WILDCAT?" Johnny looks up, stares all bug-eyed
and replies, "That's a mean motherfucker, sis!" Sis asks, "Why do
you think he's mean?"
Johnny says, "Just look at him, sis, he's got blood in one eye and
shit in the other!"

The waitress at the Greek beanery married the boss, and they seemed
quite happy. But one day she sued him for divorce. Her charge: He
was indifferent.

Just because your penis surgery was not successful is no reason to
go off half-cocked.

If sex was sold in a grocery store, there's gonna be confusion over
"Trix on Aisle 3" and "Tricks" on Aisle 10.

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart. The
music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a
couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod!

Band Members do it in front of 100,000 people

Cross Poster: A transvestite who abuses newsgroups

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Paint Chips
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Jim strolls into the paint section of a hardware store and walks up
to
the assistant.

"I'd like a pint of canary-colored paint," he says.

"Certainly," says the clerk. "Mind if I ask why you need it?"

"My parakeet," says Jim. "See, I want to enter him in a canary
contest.
He sings so sweetly that I know he's sure to win."

"Well, you can't do that, Man!" the assistant says. "The chemicals
in
the paint will almost certainly kill the poor thing!"

"No, they won't," Jim replies.

"Listen, Buddy, I'll bet you ten bucks your parakeet dies if you try
to
paint him."

"You're on!" says Jim.

Two days later Jim comes back looking very sheepish and puts ten
bucks
on the counter in front of the clerk.

"So the paint killed your bird?"

"Indirectly," Jim says. "He seemed to handle the paint okay, but he
didn't survive the sanding between coats."

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Random Chips
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Mary: I'm sorry I'm a bit late! My cab driver almost had a wreck
getting me here!

Jill: What happened?

Mary: The driver in front of him started to go when the light turned
green, but he slammed on the brakes to look at a gal on the sidewalk
who was wearing a mini-skirt. My driver almost hit him in the rear!

Jill: My goodness! How short was the skirt?

Mary: Well, she was wearing blue panties!

If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.

Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes
all
their decisions.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and
good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.

Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.

Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.

What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put
in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the
stove.

What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when
you take
them around the block.

Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag
about
it

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.

How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.

How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - did it ever happen??

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or
extremely small.

What is a man's idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

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Cardio Twister - Get Fit with a Twist

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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Talking Dogs
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/G_L.html

Rick w/Love Thee
http://wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/ra/LoveThee.html

Carolyn w/Blue Eyes Crying
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/country/blueeyescrying.html

When Sandman Attacks
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari

Groundhog's Day
http://www.groundhogsday.com/

groundhog day for kids
http://holidays.kaboose.com/ground-hog-day/

Groundhog.org
http://www.groundhog.org/

Groundhog Puzzle
http://www.surfnetkids.com/games/groundhog-c.htm

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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
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As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Deleting Files
http://www.malwarebytes.org/fileassassin.php

Rootkit Scan
http://www.f-secure.com/security_center/

Mcafee Site Advisor
http://www.siteadvisor.com/download/ie.html

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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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Animal World

Cat Motivational Posters
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catposters.html

Amazing Albino Animals
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/albino.html

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Movie Links

Men's Locker room
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010907.htm

Magic Finger Find The G Spot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010908.htm

My new Philosophy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010909.htm

My SS Check
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010910.htm

NEVER MARRY A WOMAN BIGGER THAN YOU!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010912.htm

It Looked Like A Parking Space
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gssjak.htm

Kind So Flunky
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjskla.htm

7 Wonders Of The World
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfsgfagh.htm

ABC Banner
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012101.htm

Adidas DM
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012102.htm

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Motel Chips
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Two guys are getting drunk in a bar talking.

One was going on and on about a motel he and his wife had stayed at.

"I tell ya," he said excitedly, "this place was cool. It had a
Jacuzzi, a sex swing, hell it had a contraption that we just
couldn't figure out what to do with--so I shoved it up her ass."

"Really? Hmmmm," his friend said.

"You gotta take your wife there."

"My wife? I'm not taking my wife, she won't do any of that stuff.
I'm thinking I'll take your wife."

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Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker

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Toon Chips
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blame dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nmnnbvhhkj.htm

blanket repair
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mmbkkhm.htm

blind
http://www.buffaloschips.com/zzdddrtghj.htm

blind 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksfnjsklf.htm

blind asshole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksfjksdklf.htm

blind date
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kfmskfnh.htm

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The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
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Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder

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Limerick Chips
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"When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorous abbot.
"Although it's more fun,
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"
(Mike Spence)

I know that you'll think me quite dotty,
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple espresso -
I put on a dress, oh,
And really start acting quite naughty!

Were you a more elegant chap,
I'd ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legg'd, like a swami
For 'hide the salami',
But it seems that you're ill with the clap!

Ross

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The new Buxton Palm Wallet will hold everything and keep it
organized so you can find what you need fast. Store everything
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Dual compartments
Available in black, brown or red
Includes magnifier card
Security zipper

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Parting Chips
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Every neighborhood has its own Casanova and Bill was the one who
always got the most pussy on his block. When he smiled, he had pussy
written all over his face. Unfortunately, lately his prowess had
fallen off a bit. Bill went to his doctor to complain about what was
happening. The doctor was in awe; he couldn't believe it. "Bill,"
he said, "how could this happen?" Everyone in this area knows you as
the King of Pussy you have an incredible reputation." Bill continued
to complain to the doctor and said, "What good is a reputation if
you
can't make it stand up!"

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Heel-Tastic is the incredible, easy-to-use, roll-on cracked heel
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is also great for rough knees, dry, itchy elbows and even cuticles.

Additional Ordering Details:

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Bonus Chip
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It was tea-time in the pad, and the air hung heavy in thick blue
folds
as the beat bunch and their tourist friends lit up. Suddenly, a loud
voice in the hall demanded that they open the door in the name of
legality. The smokers frantically gathered their still-smoking weeds
and
stuffed them in the cuckoo clock. The police entered, searched
diligently, found nothing and left.

The bunch breathed a sigh of relief and made for the cuckoo clock
just
as the clock's hands announced three A.M. The little door popped
open,
the bird poked his head out and said,

"Heyyyy mannnn, what time is it?"

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Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
SnakeT specially designed head grabs & locks onto hair clogs to
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1514

The Ride

Diana: Isn't today the day you take Katie for a ride around the
block in
the car?

BJ: Oh yes, thanks for reminding me. I almost forgot. Katie want
to go
for a ride?

ZOOM!!!!

BJ: Don't run me over girl. I see you have your riding scarf and
all.

Katie: I am ready to go father.

Outside they approach the car only to see Rudy and Sandi beside the
car.

Rudy: Wanna go.

Sandi: Me to.

BJ: I can understand Rudy wanting to go. He usually can either go
or not,
but Sandi... you do not like to ride.

Sandi: Today I wish to go.

BJ: Okay..everyone in.

Sandi: Shotgun!

Katie: Hey that is my spot.

Sandi: Not today.

BJ notices they are all sitting up..that is sitting on their behinds
as he
drives. This is different. Usually one or two of you are lying
down.

Rudy: I always like to look out the window.

Sandi: I never get in the front seat and it is helping my car
sickness. This
is great Daddy.

Katie: I am okay ... though I am in the back seat...Hrumpt!

Later after arriving home....

Sandi: Thank you Daddy I had a good time. Perhaps next time we can
take some sandwiches.

BJ: My dogs...always different.

The herd in Guthrie (they actually surprised me with this)

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Remember 9/11/01

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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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