Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
First off I stand corrected, not everyone stopped using 1157
light bulbs in the 80's.
I have a '95 Toyota Camry that uses 1157 bulbs...
TxWarlord
Thank you for the input TxWarlord and since I didn't hear Mr.
Toyoda apologizing for taillights in Camry's so I guess they are
performing as they have for over 50 years. Since I am a product
of 50's technology too I can't complain. I may not be as bright
as some of the new bulbs and some days I feel darned close
to being burnt out or at least only running on one filament but
I am still legal to be on the road.
I have to apologize for sporadic deliveries again by Yahoo. They
are doing some long promised upgrades to allow people to
search for old messages and it seems they have had a few outages
and many delays. It is also affecting your ability to see some of
the archived attachments that we post on the Scuttlebutt. Often
these
delays cause your browser to time out and give a " Site Not Found "
notice. Before you blame your computer, wait a little later and try
to open it again and you probably will have better luck. This is
affecting all groups that use the archiving function. It is not
perfect
but it is free and in this economy that is about all we can afford.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Vibrator Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a
strange buzzing noise coming fromwithin. Opening the door, she
observed her daughter with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are youdoing?'
The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five yearsold, unmarried, and
this thing is about as close asI'll ever get to a husband. Please,
go away andleave me alone.'
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzzcoming from the
other side of the closed bedroomdoor. Upon entering the room, he
observed hisdaughter making passionate love to her vibrator.To his
query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and thisthing is about as
close as I'll ever get to ahusband. Please, go away and leave me
alone.'
A couple days later, the wife came home from ashopping trip,placed
the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that
buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She
entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator was next
to him on the couch, buzzinglike crazy.
The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing? The husband replied:
'I'm watching football with my son-in-law.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
a last name
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caution
http://www.thepostm
first date
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Flabby Ass
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Flame Grilled Whopper
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Flight Simulator
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mitzvah Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for their religious
wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling.
The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance
with
men, and women to dance with women at the reception, but, we'd like
your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women
always
dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"NO!" answered the rabbi. "It's absolutely forbidden."
"Well, okay," says the man. "What about sex? Can we finally have
sex?"
"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah within marriage,
to
have children."
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah."
"With the woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah."
"Can we do it doggy style?"
"Sure! Another mitzvah."
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"
"Can we do it on rubber sheets with mirrors on the ceiling, a bottle
of hot oil, a vibrator, a leather whip, a bucket of honey and a
porno
video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah."
"Can we do it standing up?"
"NO, NO, NO!" cries the Rabbi. "Absolutely NEVER standing up!"
"Why not?" asks the man.
"Could lead to dancing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woman Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women's Instruction Book:
* What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Shut the door.
* If we put a man on the moon, why can't we put them all there?
* Tell him you're not his type -- you have a pulse.
* Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be let out
alone.
* Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.
* Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can
tell them apart.
* Bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman
miserable.
* The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.
Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.
* The main point of having a boyfriend is so that he can one day
graduate to the exalted status of a "former boyfriend."
* There are a lot of words that you can use to describe men --
strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong, but you could still use
them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jane: I can't understand why men are so afraid
of commitment!
Martha: Tell me about it! I lived with one guy for a year
and a half, and I finally had to give him an ultimatum.
Jane: What did you say?
Martha: I just told him, "Look, either you tell me
your last name, or get your shit out of my house !"
~~~~
My wife and I are both in an Internet business, but
she's the one who truly lives, eat, and breathes
computers.
I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was
scratching her back one day.
"No, not there," she directed. "Scroll down."
~~~~~~
New Phobias
"Hey, this is a nude beach. I ain't getting in that
cold water!" -- Shrinkaphobia
"Get that *(^%#*# vodka bottle away from me!!" --
Carmenelectraphobia
"He's coming straight for us--with his left turn
signal on!" -- Oldfartophobia
"You have to push `Start` to turn the damn computer
off?!" -- Windophobia
"I won't go to your frat house to eat gyros and watch
a tape of the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra on your
old Sony VCR!" -- ThetaFetaMetaBetaph
"No!! Don't call the plumber!!!" -- Buttcrackaphobia
"No, I don't want to watch `Friends.` That blonde
chick freaks me out." -- Phoebephobia
"Um, Doctor, why are you putting on that rubber
glove?" -- Probeophobia
"You're busy Saturday? Well, how about next weekend
then?" -- Rentanotherpornopho
"It's NOT my imagination! Senator Helms is looking at
me "that" way again!" -- Homophobophobia
"Honey, I bought a Corvette!" -- Smallpenisphobia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pretty coed nervously asked the doctor to perform
an unusual operation, the removal of a large chunk of
green wax from her navel.
Looking up from the ticklish task, the physician
asked, "How did this happen?"
Let me put it this way, doc," the girl began. "My
boyfriend likes to eat by candlelight.
~~~~
In Hell....
An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other
in hell one day. "My lord," the Irishman exclaimed, "what are you
doing here?"
The landowner sighed. "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole
to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine. But you were
a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?"
"For fathering that playboy son of yours," the Irishman replied.
~~~
WHY M & M'S ARE WICCAN:
* MM = Merry Meet*
*Round shape for wheel of the year, cycle of seasons*
*Skins are different colors, but the inside is the same chocolate,
because
we
are all related.*
*Associations with the colors:
-Red = South,
-Green = West,
-Dark Brown = North,
-Yellow = East,
Orange = For the Solar God,
-Light Brown = For the Earth Mother (Copper Woman)
* Rotate the M & M:
- M = 13th letter of alphabet, and there are 13 witches in a coven
-3 = Triple Goddess, three phases of moon
-W = Witchcraft, Wiccan
-E = Enlightenment, Enchantment of chocolate
"Melt in your mouth, not in your hand"
--God/dess's love must be experienced directly to appreciate. Also,
God/dess
will take care of you.*
*Sweetness to remind us of how sweet the love
of the God and Goddess is!*
Author Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate when I have to walk down the street past construction workers
and they always say something disgusting.
It wouldn't bother me so much if they could show me even one
marriage that came from this kind of introduction, "Mommy, how did
you meet Daddy?"
"Well, I was walking along the street one day and your father
screamed something about wanting to eat his lunch off my ass. I was
so turned on, I threw myself in the back of his truck."
Signs your life is about to change
10. While watching the news, you spot your spouse marching in a Gay
Pride parade.
9. The bank notifies you that your paycheck has bounced.
8. On a densely foggy morning, while driving in the center lane of a
highway, you suddenly run out of gas.
7. You arrive at your wedding to find, two ushers, four bridesmaids
and six pallbearers.
6. You ask your doctor for a physical and he replies, "I'm sorry, I
don't do autopsies."
5. The IRS invites you to a weenie-roast and the invitation begins
with, "Dear Weenie. . "
4. While surfing the internet, you suddenly get the following
dialogue box: ICBM launch successful. Confirm strike? (Y/N)
3. You hear that your dentist has been arrested for using
radioactive material as tooth-filling.
2. At the vacant house next door, you notice a U-Haul van and a
truck which looks similar to the ones on old Beverly Hillbillies TV
show.
1. Your twelve year old daughter suddenly develops a craving for
pickles and ice cream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A New Recipe
http://silverandgol
carolyn w/ In My Father's House
http://carolynsprec
With You Always
http://www.withyoua
Trash Shadow Art
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Unusual Accidents Via Juanita
http://dalesdesigns
Leprechaun
http://www.irishfes
Gardening Tips
http://davesgarden.
Mobile Ringtones
http://www.mabilo.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Internet Search Tools
http://www.itools.
Process Library
http://www.processl
tinySpell 1.6 - a tiny spell checker for Windows
http://www.tinyspel
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.snopes.
Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-
Horned Toads
http://animals.
tml
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other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Spitz Hound
http://www.buffalos
Sex with the witness
http://www.buffalos
Stay off the pole
http://www.buffalos
Store Clerk
http://www.buffalos
Strip Tease
http://www.buffalos
Love
http://www.buffalos
Hair Piece
http://www.buffalos
Hang Onto That Pole
http://www.buffalos
Happy New Year
http://www.buffalos
Hard Day
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Strike Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEWS FLASH: No virgins - UK suicide bombers set for strike
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day
strike
on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled
to
in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so
far
failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the
number
of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be
cut
by 25% next January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut
was
the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and
a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of
Occupational
Martyrs (or BOOM) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike
action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our
members
are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by
management
is a kick in the teeth."
Mr Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed
out
that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the
workforce
and not by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded
an
annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be
sure
they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for
members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real
work?"
Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands in which he currently
resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We
sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in
a
position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks
to
Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in
the
afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have
to
tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves
up."
He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to
attract good, fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the
best people if I can't compete with the private sector?" asked Mr
Bin-Laden.
Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch
proposal
of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to
agree on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be
named, was quoted as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to
anything like that ..... it's too much to swallow."
Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide
bombers will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are
supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a
different union, is likely to continue working. However, some
members
of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to
express solidarity with their striking brethren.
Spokespersons in the North East of England, Swindon, North Kent and
the entire Australian continent stated that this would not affect
their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orgreenic Kitchenware
Get healthy with natural ceramic non-stick cookware. It's super
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requires little or no oil, butter or grease to cook your food just
right. No more stuck food or chipping and peeling.
Get a nine inch frying pan for just $19.99.
Learn More
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grand theft
http://www.buffalos
Hard Boiled
http://www.buffalos
Begging
http://www.buffalos
Not pretty
http://www.buffalos
Queer
http://www.buffalos
Dating Agency
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds
Slap Chop makes chopping up vegetables, nuts and fruits quick and
easy. The food gets finer with every slap - you'll never need to
switch the blade. Slap Chop is dishwasher safe making clean up a
breeze.
Order one today and get a second one at no charge.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fancy lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a
little white duck, all covered with shit, crossed her path.
"Oh, dear," the lady said, "come on, I'll clean you!" She took a
Kleenex from her purse and did a good job. After that she urged the
duck away. "Be careful next time!"
She walked on and another duck, with shit all over it, crossed her
way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little animal. She
warned this one as well and the duck took off. Then she encountered
a third duck, with the same problem.
"Now I have had it!" She screamed. "What have you been doing?" And
for the third time she acts like a Florence Nightingale.
She walked on - suddenly she heard a voice from the bushes. "Hey,
you, lady!" sounded a male voice in distress.
"Yes?" she replied.
"Do you have a Kleenex?"
"Not anymore, no." she answered.
"Too bad. I'll have to use another duck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limited time offer so act now.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best firewall Ever ...
1. One human cell contains 75MB genetic information.
2. One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5MB.
3. One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms.
4. In average, ejaculation lasts for 5 sec and contains 2.25 ml
semen.
5. This means that the throughput of a man's member is equal to
(37.5MB x
100,000,000 x 2.25)/5 = 1 687 500 000 000 000 byte/second = 1,6875
Terabyte/sec
This means that the female egg cell withstands this DDoS attack at
1.5
terabyte per second, and only lets through one(!) data package,
thereby
being the best freaking hardware firewall in the world!
The downside of it is that only THIS small data package that it lets
through, hangs the system for the whole of 9 months!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Offer If you order the Cozy Premium Comfort System you'll also
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fleece blanket, and collapsible travel case.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat
things.
The first little boy says, "Alligator."
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second boy says, "Predator."
"Yes, that's another big word. Well done."
Little Johnny says, "Vibrator, Miss."
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word,
but it doesn't eat anything."
"Well my sister has one and she says it eats batteries like there's
no
tomorrow!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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