Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Rather than make you wait till later for your chips, I went to the
archives for the intro today.
My Heart's at Sea Forever
Long ago I was a Sailor.
I sailed the Ocean blue.
I knew the bars in Singapore...
The coastline of Peru.
I knew well the sting of salt spray,
The taste of Spanish wine,
The beauty of the Orient...
Yes, all these things were mine.
But I wear a different hat now,
A tie and jacket too.
My sailing days were long ago...
with that life I am through.
But somewhere deep inside of me...
The sailor lives there still.
He longs to go to sea again,
But knows he never will.
My love, my life, is here at home,
and I will leave here never.
Though mind and body stay ashore...
My heart's at sea forever.
Buffalo says this was written by a man who refers to himself as A.
Sailor .. I feel our paths have crossed before in fact our
membership dates in the Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club and also 32nd St.
Naval Station in San Diego coincide. Excuse me while I daydream
about long ago and far away for awhile... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hat Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost
fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am
so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I
misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that
McGlynn
had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday.
I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured
he
would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after
Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal
McGlynn's hat.
What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10
Commandments,
I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said;
"After I
talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do
without
your hat than burn in Hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about
'Thou
Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I wonder
http://www.thepostm
a big surprise
http://www.thepostm
souvenirs
http://www.thepostm
http://sydesjokes.
Hockey Makes You Tough
http://sydesjokes.
Hockey Slam
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The very first sex education classes were in the 50's. Naturally,
some of the teachers were embarrassed and used only very carefully
chosen words.
In one class, the teacher was explaining the anatomy of the male
genitalia. He said, "The human male testicles are about the size of
Plover's eggs."
A female voice from the back quipped, "Hey... Neat !!!
I've always wondered how big Plover's eggs were."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Mother Superior calls all the nuns together for an emergency meeting
and says, "I must tell you all something of great importance, we
have a case of gonorrhea!"
A nun in the back says, "Thank God, I am so tired of Zinfandel!"
~~~~~
The new Miss Czech Republic could be stripped of her title because
she was filmed having sex with her boyfriend two years ago.
Competition rules forbid all Miss Czech Republic candidates from
having participated in erotic modeling...
... In other words, no Czech-mating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Wine Enthusiast:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soccer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's just before England v France at the Millennium Stadium, an
important European Championship qualifier game. David Beckham goes
into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a
bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know
it's important but it's only France. They're shit and we can't be
bothered"
Beckham looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these guys
by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So David Beckham goes out to play France by himself and the rest of
the England team go off for a few jars.
After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the
landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen
reads "England 1 - France 0 (D. Beckham 10 minutes)" He is beating
France all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until
someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got
on."
They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Millennium Stadium :
England 1 (Beckham 10 minutes) - France 1 (Zidane 89 minutes).
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against
France!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him.
They find him in the dressing room, still in his kit, sat with his
head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down"
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against France, all by yourself. And
they only scored at the very very end!"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down. I got sent off after 12
minutes!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you heard about the masochist who had to break a date because
he was going to be tied up all night?
As long as I have a face you'll always have a place to sit.
Become an amateur gynecologist. Look up a friend today.
Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts cost a buck fifty-nine. Deer nuts are under a buck.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other a blow job.
What is the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
At a straight rodeo they yell "ride them suckers!"
Why did God give women yeast infections?
So they'd know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A person of most any nation
If afflicted with bad constipation,
Can shove a cuirass
Up the crack of his ass,
But it isn't a pleasing sensation.
Leaving the seat down may be sweet,
But it means that i soak the seat,
I would be really great,
If i could pee straight,
But most times i just wet my feet.
There was a woman from Buffalo
who challenged a fellow to show
that he could pee
higher than she
How could the stout fellow say no?
So they went on out back of the pub
She put her puss on the wall and said "Bub,
I'm goin' first
I'm about to burst"
then proceeded to let go a flood.
She managed about three feet high
So the bub whipped open his fly
grabbed hold of his thing
but the "lady" did sing
"The rules are no hands by the by!"
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater,
knew a chick, but wouldn't eat her;
met her brother, one fine day,
he sucked his cock,
and now he's gay!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl came running in the house and said, "Mommy,
I met the most wonderful man this morning. It was the
garbage man, and he was carrying a big bag over his head,
and it broke and went all over him. And, you know,
Mommy, he just stood there and talked to his mother,
his son, and God."
~~~
The first year student had just gotten a beat up old
VW beetle from his parents.
He took it for a spin but misjudged the curve and
overturned the car directly between the house of Mr.
and Mrs. Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Balls
... luckily, he was pulled out by the Smiths.
~~~~~~
My boyfriend and I were at my daughter's volleyball game when we
noticed an adult couple in the bleachers. They were being VERY
affectionate. She was running her hands all over him and nibbling
on his ear. He had his hands on her chest.
I said to my boyfriend, "I don't know whether to watch them or the
game."
He said, "Watch THEM ! You already KNOW how to play volleyball."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Carol w/ Nearness Of You
http://www.carolspo
The Haunting Sound Of Song
http://anhourwithyo
Adam In Paradise
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Surfin Surfari
Disney Babyface Toy Story Remote Control Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Amish-Online-
http://amish-
What Does the Bible Say About Tattoos?
http://www.TruthOrT
Scotch Tape Art
http://www.shangral
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Java For IE
http://www.java.
Java Tutorial
http://java.
AdBlock Plus
http://addons.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Bob & Tom Around The World Series
http://www.buffalos
Boob Job
http://www.buffalos
Borrowing The Old Mans Car
http://www.buffalos
Gay Weatherman
http://www.buffalos
Hot Moments
http://www.buffalos
Impossible
http://www.buffalos
Jet Engine
http://www.buffalos
John McCain
http://www.buffalos
Korean
http://www.buffalos
Larry The Cable Guy 111
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pussy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A kid, around 10 years old, ragged and dirty, is sitting on the
curb.
A very shapely young lady passes. The kid calls out, "Hey miss,
miss?"
Lady stops, and he asks, WIll you give me some pussy?Lady slaps him
across the face and walks off, leaving the little urchin crying.
Lady starts to ponder: "Geez, he's only about 10 years old, and
probably doesn't know what he's saying".Lady returns and walks up to
the little boy and and says, "I'm sorry for slapping you"Between
snuffles, he replies,"That'
the alley and give him some.Surprisingly the kid had a big dick and
knew what he was doing. After the lady had
2 big orgasms and the kid shot his load, the lady asked, " Do you
ask every lady that question?"Urchin: Yes Ma'am!
Lady: Then you must get a lot of slaps then.
Urchin: Yes, Ma'am.
But I also get a lot of pussy too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pregnant
http://www.buffalos
Disgusting
http://www.buffalos
Bob Barker
http://www.buffalos
Forty Beavs
http://www.buffalos
Cats In Heat
http://www.buffalos
What Happened
http://www.buffalos
Have Some!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuna Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We're coming up on tornado season and that got me to thinking about
Tuna.
Allow me to explain. Way back when I was in grade school every
spring we would have tornado drills. These consisted of the teachers
hustling all the students into the hallways and getting us to put
our heads deep between our knees. We got to be so good at it that we
even gave the position a nickname. We called it "the old duck and
cover". Yeah, we were cocky until a real tornado hit us.
There we were sitting in our classroom when suddenly the wind began
to blow, the sky grew dark and clouds began to form. In a short
while things calmed down and the sky took on a greenish tint. The
tornado siren began to wail and the teacher wigged out.
"Tornado!" she shrieked freaking out all the kids. "Get into the
hallway and assume the position!"
We ran into the hallway and many of the kids began to cry. I
couldn't cry. I was too preoccupied with getting my head far enough
up my ass. I noticed that Sally McGintee was having the same
problem. So I scooted over to her and we decided to put our heads
between each others knees. I was so frightened, but the unusual
aroma between Sally's legs kept me sufficiently distracted. I knew
that smell, I just couldn't quite place it!
Finally the "all clear" bell sounded and we all got back onto our
feet. That's when it hit me. "Tuna!" I shouted. "You smell like
tuna!" Nobody knew what the hell I was talking about.
But to this day, whenever there is a tornado warning I have this
uncontrollable craving for a tuna sandwich.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pat was lying on his deathbed, moaning and carrying on.
"Mike," he says, "I know I'm a goner."
"Oh, Paddy, have faith, ye still have years ahead uv yuh."
"No, Mick, I'm finished, an' you've been such a great friend;
there's
one thing I'd like yuh to do when I'm gone."
"Ahh, Paddy, I'll do anything you ask, I swear it to the Saints and
the Holy Mother."
"Well, Dear Friend, I have been saving a jug of fine whiskey that my
brother sent me from Cashel some eight years ago, and I would like
you
to pour it on me grave when I'm buried."
Mike sits silently for a long time and Pat asks again, "Will you do
that for yer oldest friend, Mike?"
Mike draws a big breath and says, "Ye know I will Pat, but would ye
mind if I filter it through me kidneys first?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to
report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a
description.
She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy
hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and and
his dick is nine inches long."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby,
bald, has a big mouth, and his dick is four inches long,"
The wife replied, "Well, I don't want THAT one back and by the way
how do you know about his dick."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1532
Bath Time - Sandi
BJ: I guess Katie is next?
Diana: Let's go for the second largest dog, Sandi.
BJ: Oh, my girl. This should be interesting. She might be willing
because she is my doggie, but she might not because she is a dog.
Diana: Go get her while I recover from Rudy.
BJ: Here Sandi.
Lope lope lope.
Sandi: Yes, Daddy.
BJ: Come over here please.
Sandi: Yes, Daddy....er no.
BJ: Don't you want to look pretty?
Sandi: Can't I just go swimming down by the lake?
BJ: There is not any soap by the lake. In you go.
Splash!
Sandi: This is so humbling. Well make it fast Daddy.
Diana: At least she doesn't fight like Rudy.
A few minutes later.
BJ: Don't you feel better Sandi?
Sandi: Yes, I do and this will make you feel better when I sleep in
bed right?
BJ: A loaded question.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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