THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are
punished by being governed by those who are dumber."
- Plato
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Now that the US government owns GM, it appears that they
are using its excess capacity to build top-of-the-line
jet fighters. See the attached I just received from an
unnamed source at Seymour Johnson AFB. Note the special
radar-absorbing paint, semi-submerged air-to-air
missiles and unique air inlet. Sleep well know that your
Air Force is being provided with the latest equipment from
our government to defend your freedom.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
assumptions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l030.html
icecream
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l031.html
my god
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l032.html
collection
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l033.html
honey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l034.html
in case
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l035.html
not same truck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l036.html
father forgive me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l037.html
casual sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l038.html
in my soup
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l039.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
landing on a pitching deck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9029.html
News busted
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9030.html
1 mile sniper shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9031.html
Trace Adkins and the West Point cadet glee club
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9032.html
ouch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9033.html
funny prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9034.html
A caravan of gypsies arrived in a small town in Kansas.
A local lady heard about this band of mystics and decided
to see if a particular miracle worker tagged along with
them. Asking around for this healer, she found herself
inside a tent. "Are You Bernardo the Miracle Man?"
she asked the old man.
"Yes, I am," he replied, pleased to find someone
interested in his services."Is it true that you clasped
the ears of a deaf man and gave him the ability to hear?"
"Yes, it is true," said Bernardo.
"Is it true that you brushed your fingers against the
eyelids of a blind man and gave him the ability to see?"
"Yes, that is also true," said Bernardo.
At this point she went outside of the tent and rolled
in her husband who sat in a wheelchair looking lifeless.
"Well then, do you think you could help my husband?"
"I can try," Bernardo said. "Is he paralyzed?"
"Even worse," she replied. "He works for the phone company."
________________
Marty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot
in the house, Sadie is on to him, telling him that their
friend Marvin has finally quit smoking.
"Imagine that, Marty," she says, "someone who smoked 3
packs a day for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a
sudden. Now that's what I call will power - something
that you definitely don't have."But Sadie hadn't finished.
"And that's not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken
friend of yours, is finally giving up drinking - another
example of the kind of will power that you don't have."
"OK, Sadie," said Marty, "you want to see will power,
do you? Well here's will power. I am going to sleep in
the spare room from now on. I am going to prove to you
that I won't be affected at all by not sleeping with a woman."
Marty keeps to his word.
One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week,
there is a knock on his bedroom door.
Marty shouts out, "What do you want?"
Sadie replies, "Marvin has started smoking again."
___________
"People," said the Sales Manager to the sales team, "We're going to
be having a fire sale."
"A fire sale?" spoke up one agent. "But we sell insurance."
"I said a fire sale, and I meant it," he replied. "Anyone who doesn't
make a sale gets fired."
____________
There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him. Then he sees an
ad in the paper for a great dog trainer. So, he decides to go to the
dog trainer and get his dog trained.
The guy walks in the room and asks, "Can you train my dog, and are
you a good trainer?" The trainer replies, "Well, I can train your
dog, and I will give you a demonstration of how good I am."
He dumped a box full of bones on the floor and blew a whistle.
The first dog came in and made a skeleton with the bones. "Wow!" said
the guy, "What kind of dog is that?" "That's a nurse's dog," said the
trainer.Then he blows the whistle again and a second dog comes
in the room. That dog makes a big building. The man says,
"Wow! What kind of dog is that?""That's an architect's dog,"
replies the trainer.Then the trainer blows the whistle again
and a third dog comes in.That dog takes the bones, screws the
other two dogs and runs away.
"Wow! What kind of dog is that?" says the man. "That's a lawyer's dog!"
______________
Teacher to student: "If I gave you two rabbits, and another two
rabbits and another two, how many would you have?"
"Seven"
"Now, listen carefully. If I gave you two rabbits, and another two
rabbits and another two, how many would you have?"
"Seven."
"Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and
another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
"Six."
"Good. Now if I gave you two rabbits, and another two rabbits and
another two, how many would you have?"
"Seven."
"Where do you get seven from?"
"Because I have one rabbit at home."
______
SYDESJOKES LIST
Great Xmas Present
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000669.html
Greatest Ever Miss
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000670.html
Greatest Movie Line Ever
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000671.html
______________
FUN PAGES
Online Bow Hunting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41501&s=n
Life of Pun
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41412&s=n
Top 8 Funny Word Definitions
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41109&s=n
________________
BUFFALO BILL
New Recruiting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/alaklk.htm
Niggar Family
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asjskks.htm
Nissan Pathfinder
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsdxs.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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