THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Never mind what others do, do better than yourself.
Beat your own records every day and aim for a better tomorrow
Success will chase you.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Have you signed up for the postman's cruise?
I will be sponsoring a tour next weekend on the
brand new Dixie Belle of the Gypsie Queenn line.
We will be touring the Florida keys and then cruise
across the gulf to Louisianna and will spend
several days cruising the Mississippi delta.
Enclosed is a picture of the cruise ship.
If you hurry, to sign up you can get the presidential
suite. where you can enjoy the balcony,
complete with all facilities.
Place your reservation today!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COIMCS
big tongue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m020.html
my favorite cartoon of all time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m021.html
wonder bra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m022.html
my wife and me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m023.html
like all women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m024.html
crazy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m025.html
cold
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m026.html
have you ever wondered?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m027.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
bugga
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9068.html
chocolate-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9069.html
how to land a Chinook helicopter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9070.html
Renault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9071.html
neighbors
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9072.html
2004 world cup in Iceland
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9074.html
don't move
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9073.html
________________
Tony had come over from Italy a short time ago and
his English was not very good. His wife had a bad
case of crabs in her pubic hair, so Tony went to
the drug store and asked the clerk, "My wife, she
has 'a bugs in the bush".
The clerk though that Tony's wife had insects in her
garden and gave Tony a bottle of insecticide and
told him to use one tablespoon per gallon and
spray the bushes and that would get rid of the bugs.
Tony took the insecticide home and thought the
infestation in her pubic hair was so bad, he would
spray it on straight out of the bottle.
Several weeks later Tony was in the drug store and
the clerk ask him, "How are the bugs in the bush doing?"
Tony said, "The bugs, they are gone, my wife's
bush is all gone, too. By the way did you hear
about my neighbor Joe?". "He had a beautiful
mustache and it all fell out and do you know
Joe up and died last week.
My wife she is very sad about Joe dying."
____________
Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR? ;
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Good year.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet.
But when they go, they Take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...
AND:
Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARASSMENT?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
_______________
WASHINGTON , DC - Congress is considering sweeping
legislation which will provide new benefits for many
Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)
is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates
of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills
or ambition. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not
possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out
a meaningful role for themselves in society," said
California Senator Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer
stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed
and passed over. With this legislation, employers will
no longer be able to grant special favors to a small
group of workers, simply because they have some idea of
what they are doing." In a Capitol Hill press conference,
House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority
Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal
Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately
74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making
this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of
Inability. Private-sector industries with good records of
nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%),
the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse"
stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department
of Motor Vehicles also has a great record of hiring
Persons of Inability (63%). Under the Americans With No
Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions
will be created, with important- sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based
raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward
mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations
that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability
into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to
small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one
clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA Act contains tough new measures to make it
more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled.
For example, it bans discriminatory interview questions such
as "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with
people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz,
who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in
Flint, Michigan, due to her lack of any discernible job skills.
"This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other
untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said President Obama: "As the President With No Abilities, I
believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought
to be extended to every American with no abilities.
It is our duty as members of the government to provide
each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her
inadequacy, as long as they voted for me, with some sort of
space to take up in this great nation."
_________________
A man was on a safari deep, deep in the jungle when he suddenly
found himself surrounded by fierce-looking natives!
As they moved closer, he remembered an old trick he saw in a movie.
Quickly, pulling out his Bic lighter, he flicked the flame
towards the leader of the natives.
Astonished, the leader jumped back several feet and gasped,
"Wow! That's incredible!"
"You'd better believe it's incredible," said the man, all the
while waving the flame at him.
"It certainly is," says the leader. I can't remember the last
time I saw a lighter that worked the first time you flicked it!"
_______________
One day an old farmer fell asleep in the top level in a 2
level hay shed. When he woke up, he found his son having sex
with his girlfriend on the bottom level of the hay shed. He
decided he wouldn't disturb them, so he laid down and rested.
After a while he heard his son say, "Father, father up above.
Give me strength for one last shove."
So the father, being smart, replied, "Son, son down below. Get
off and give your father a go."
_____________
Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat
starts sinking. Saul says to Morty, "So listen, Morty, you know I
don't swim so well."
Morty remembers how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard class
when he was just a kid, so he begins tugging Saul toward shore.
After ten minutes, he begins to tire. Finally about 100 feet from
shore, Morty asks Saul, So Saul, do you suppose you could float
alone?"
Saul replies, "Morty, this is a hell of a time to be asking for money!"
______________
FUN PAGES
BMW Drift
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38547&s=n
Snort Vitamins
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41379&s=n
George Bush Slogans
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=32908&s=n
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Call To Navy Recruiter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012813.htm
Country Music
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012814.htm
Crappy hp Printer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012815.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Hamster Mail
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000687.html
Hand Puppet
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000688.html
Happy Doughboy
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000689.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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