THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Being taken for granted can be a compliment.
It means that you've become a comfortable,
trusted element in another person's life.
—Dr. Joyce Brothers
_________________________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
This is your worst part of the year. The
days are the shortest. It gets dark like at
5 or 6 pm these days. Skies are grey. Temps
are chili. I really get depressed. The good
old cabin fever starts to really build up
pressure. After being couped up all winter,
its like a pressure cooker, you know? But,
you know what's good about it, right now?
I didn't think you did. hehehe
Well, enjoy the jokes, we'll come up with
something!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
like em?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l001.html
jock itch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l002.html
Frank's surprise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l003.html
the bee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l004.html
blind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l005.html
how it happened
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l006.html
what are you looking at
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l007.html
how much
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l008.html
I'm looking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l009.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Vancouver City
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9013.html
booggie board fail
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9014.html
cat's meow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9015.html
at the wedding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9016.html
coffee
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9017.html
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss and discuss
where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the
Ocean View restaurant because the waitress's
there have low cut blouses and are pretty.
10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group once
again discuss and discuss where they should meet
for dinner. Finally it is agreed that they should
meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food
there is very good and the wine selection is good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once
again discuss and discuss where they should meet
for dinner. Finally it is agreed that they should
meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they can
eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant has
a beautiful view of the ocean. 10 years later, at 70
years of age, the group once again discuss and discuss
where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed
that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant
because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and
they even have an elevator.10 years later, at 80 years
of age, the group once again discuss and discuss
where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is
agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant
because they have never been there before.
_______________
Tom, who was in the Air Force had just spent a year
tour unaccompanied on an outpost in Shemya, Alaska.
The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife,"
Honey, I want you to know that I haven't wasted all
this time alone. Instead, I've mastered the art of mind
over matter. Just watch this!' And with that he dropped
his pants and shorts and stood before her in his
altogether. "Now watch," he said. Next he said," Dick,
ten-HUT!" And with that, his dick sprang to full
erection. Then he said," Dick, at EASE!" And his dick
deflated again. " Wow, that was amazing, "said his wife."
Do you mind if I bring our next-door neighbor over to
see this? Its really something else!" Tom responded
that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of what
he had accomplished. So the wife goes next door and comes
back with a delicious looking blond with big tits and
tight jeans, who got this guys full attention!
"Joanie, this is my husband Tom, he has something to
demonstrate." After a brief pause to take her in, he
drops his pants and said," Now watch this." Then he said"
Dick, ten-HUT!" And the dick sprang to life. Then it was"
Dick, at EASE!" But nothing happened. So the guy again
said," Dick, at EASE!" But still nothing happened. So
the guy now says," For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch,
I said AT EASE!!" Still nothing. Well, the guy was
embarrassed and ran off to the bathroom. His wife made
excuses for him and then joined her husband in the
bathroom, where she found him masturbating. "What in the
world are you doing?" She asked. The guy says," I'm givin'
this son-of-a-bitch a dishonorable discharge!"
______________
A girl from Newfoundland who was a virgin on her wedding night,
was stunned to see the special part her husband had.
She asked, 'what's dat ting?'
'My lov' he said, 'dats a special part God gave to me to please you
and I'm the only man on earth dat has one.'
After a passionate night of love making the bride said: 'How lucky I
am to have the only man alive with one of those!'
The next day, the husband comes home to see his new bride very
upset.'What's wrong me lov?'
'You told me you were the only man wit one of those tings and today
I saw Freddie doing his Pee behind the shed and he had one dat
looked just like yours!!'
Not wanting to be caught he said: 'Well honey, the truth is I had two of
those parts and because Freddie is my best friend in the world, I gave
him one, but it's only me and Freddie who has one'
That seemed to ease her mind somewhat.
After another night of passionate love making the husband
goes off to work. Later that evening he comes home to find
his new love very upset again!
'What's the matter today me luv?'
'Well' she says 'I can't get over how stunned you are!'
'Whatever do you mean my sweet?'
"I can't believe you were lucky enough to have TWO of
those special parts,
and you turns around and gives Freddie da best one!'
______________
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an
argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women.
Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered.
Think about this...
When your ear itches and you put your little finger in
it and wiggle it around,
Then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or
your finger?
_______________
A veterinarian was also an amateur geneticist. One day,
one of his experiments paid off. He successfully
combined the DNA of a cantaloupe with that of a dog.
The result was a small, round dog with orange-tinted fur.
For many years, the dog was happy. But over time, he became
lethargic and morose. The vet tried everything to cure the
dog's depression. Eventually, he decided to take the dog
to a pet psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told the veterinarian
not to worry. The dog was just a little melon collie.
_______________
A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and
when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying.
"What's the matter child?" he asks.
"Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't
marry me because I'm Roman Catholic."
"There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him
the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies
and the rites. That'll bring him around."
Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it. About a
year later, they meet again, and again she bursts into
tears when he asks how she is doing.
"Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father."
"Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?"
"Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem. He
was so taken by it that he's now studying to be a priest."
________________
Doctor: "I have some good news and some bad news,
which do you want first?"
Patient: "Give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "We amputated the wrong leg."
Patient: "What is the good news?"
Doctor: "Your other leg won't need to be amputated after all."
FUN PAGES
Hang On Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41532&s=n
Octopus Eats Self
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39817&s=n
Madagascar Penguins
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38553&s=n
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Get Flashed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010902.htm
Little Brother
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010903.htm
Mohammed Brand Condoms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010904.htm
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Good Brakes
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000657.html
Good Friends
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000658.html
Good Phone Advert
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000659.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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