THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Enjoy life now -
It has an expiration date!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am writing this for all you guys so that you don't forget...
remember? Today is valentines day. Now, if you want you can
go out and get her a little something. or, if you like,
feel free to borrow any of these excuses:)
EXCUSES WHY I FORGOT VALENTINE'S DAY
* The Florist couldn't find the house.
* I sent a candygram. Someone must have eaten it.
* The Hallmark Store was closed, and I didn't want to send
less than the best.
* I sent an e-mail card. You never got it? AOL must have
messed up again!
* I left a message in your email to meet me for
dinner. Where were you?
* I didn't know you liked jewelry.
* I thought Saint Valentine's Day was a Catholic holy Day.
* The mailman must have been shot in a Post Office Massacre.
* I thought we would do something different this year.
* You didn't remind me!
I recommend getting her a little something:)
its safer.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
wedding night
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m060.html
a discount
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m061.html
eight and a half
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m062.html
kiss the bride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m063.html
good news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m064.html
uploading
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m065.html
1000 hits
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m066.html
the back door
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m067.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
excersize
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9094.html
electric mower
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9095.html
innovative cars
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9096.html
jihadist training
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9097.html
California police chase
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9099.html
John Boy's balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9098.html
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his
luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing
happily while he worked. This fascinated the King;
why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and
gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy. The King
asked the servant, "Why are you so happy?" The man
replied, "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant,
but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof
over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in
the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor.
After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story,
the advisor said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the
servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."
"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.
The advisor replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what
The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave
it at this servant's doorstep."
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house.
When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy...
So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several
counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins.
He wondered, "What could've happened to that last gold coin?
Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!"
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was
elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was
going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold
coin and complete his collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was
overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family
for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped
singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled.
When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said,
"Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club."
He continued, "The 99 Club is a name given to those people
who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because
they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1
telling to themselves: "Let me get that one final thing
and then I will be happy for life."
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but
the minute we're given something bigger and better, we
want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt
the people around us; all these as a price for our growing
needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
____________
Morty visits the veterinarian in Boca Raton and says,
"My dog has a problem."
The doctor replies, "So tell me about the dog's problem."
"First you should know, he's a Jewish dog. His name is
Irving and he can talk," says Morty.
"He can talk?" the doubtful doctor asks.
"Watch this!" Morty points to the dog and commands: "Irving, Fetch!"
Irving, the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then
turns around and demands, "So why are you talking to me
like that? You order me around like I'm nothing. And you
only call me when you want something. And then you make
me sleep on the floor, with my arthritis. You give me
this fahkahkta food with all the salt and fat, and you
tell me it's a special diet. It tastes like dreck! YOU
should eat it yourself! And do you ever take me for a
decent walk? NO, it's out of the house, a short pish,
and right back home. Maybe if I could stretch out a little,
the sciatica wouldn't kill me so much! I should roll over
and play dead for real for all you care!"
The Doctor is amazed. "This is remarkable! What could be the problem?"
Morty says, "Obviously, he has a hearing problem!
I said 'Fetch', not 'Kvetch'."
____________
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the
ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause
it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."
_______________
A sailor met a good looking blonde at the bar
And was trying to get laid without much success.
"I don't date servicemen," she said, "but I am
Curious as to why you sailors have those two rows
Of buttons on your pants."
"Why, that's because we have two dicks," the sailor replied.
"Interesting. And probably twice as much fun," replied the blonde.
"Okay, let's go to my place and try them out."
So they went to her apartment, and after the first screwing
The blonde said, "Boy, that was sure nice. I'm still horny,
I want the other one now..."
Whereupon the sailor undid the other side of buttons, pulled
Out a limp, weary dick, looked at it and sadly declared,
"Well, I'll be damned! He's pouting because he wasn't FIRST!"
______________
A union plumber was called to woman's apartment
In New York to repair a leaking pipe.
When he arrived he was pleased to discover that
The woman was quite a luscious, well stacked
Dish and during the course of the afternoon the
Two became extremely friendly.
About 5.30 p.m., the phone rang, disturbing the
Bedroom shenanigans. "That was my husband,"
She said, putting down the phone. "He's on his
Way home, but is going back to the office around 8.
Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off."
The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief.
"What? On my own time?"
________________
The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast
Table one lazy Sunday morning.
I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly,
I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."
Now why would you want me to do something like that?"
She asked.
"I figure that you would eventually remarry,
And I don't want some asshole using my stuff..."
She looked at me and said:
"What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"
______________
FUN PAGES
Varmint Hunting Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41507&s=n
4 Nose Slugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41427&s=n
Metroid Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41541&s=n
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Centrum Silver
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1227.htm
Chicks Playing Pool
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1228.htm
Chokes On You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1229.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Heavy Duty Power Tool
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000699.html
Heavy Equipment Operators Final Exam
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000700.html
Heineken Advert
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000701.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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