THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HANDS FREE SOAP MAGIC!
Just wave your hand and Soap Magic gives you
the perfect amount every time
Works with all liquid soaps, lotions and
hand sanitizers Makes applying body lotion a breeze
Great in the workshop for cleaning up without
touching anything
Soap Magic Offer Includes
1 Soap Magic
BUY 1 GET 1 FREE (Just Pay Separate S&H)
2nd Soap Magic
http://tinyurl.com/y8cgp7x
________________
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter
~ E. E. Cummings ~
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Friendships are priceless, time is invaluable,
Health is wealth, and love is a treasure!
Create a nest egg of beautiful memories that you
Can dip into from time to time to ease any sorrows.
Have the kind of remembrances that raise you up
With their worth and keep you there with their wonder.
Always have a secret supply of hopes
On hand to help you plan your tomorrows.
Remember that when you invest in
Your dreams it is impossible to overpay.
Give away smiles, and watch them
Come back to you a hundred times over.
Stuff your pockets with kindness and optimism;
There is nothing more precious in the world.
May Your Life Be Filled With Riches
Today and Every Day!
------------------
I was going to send you a valentines day card
the other day. But for some reason, there was
something wrong with my printer. Guess I will
have to call tech support and figger out whats
up with that.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n020.html
don't worry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n021.html
opinions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n022.html
opportunities
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n023.html
pcs r us
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n024.html
at the motel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n025.html
breaking it down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n026.html
at my age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n027.html
new words to an old song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n028.html
I told you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n029.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Que Sera Sera [Losers But Happy]
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9114.html
1/14/10 Stossel Excerpt on Crony Capitalism: Seriously?!
Your stimulus package at work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9115.html
the census bureau
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9116.html
the battle against gravity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9117.html
a Belaire and a Malibu
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9118.html
tiny bubbles xxx
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9119.html
Heinz' first date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9120.html
___________
Some children are talking about their siblings.
"My brother takes karate lessons," bragged little Pauly.
"My sister takes gymnastics," said little Jim.
Not to be outdone, Maury piped up, "My sister
takes birth control pills!"
_____________
Two guys were walking down the street one day when they
came across a small pair of gym shorts on the ground.
They decided to put a sign up on the church bulletin
board so the rightful owner could claim them.
The first one starts to write out the sign,
"FOUND: one pair of boys gym shorts..."
"Hold on," says the second, "Those are girls gym shorts."
"No they're not," says the first, "They're boys shorts!"
The second grabs them from him and takes a closer look, "No, no
... Definitely girls gym shorts!"
The two of them are inspecting the shorts in turns and arguing.
"Boys shorts!", "No, girls shorts!", "Definitely boys shorts!"
.... and so on.
The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't
help but ask them what the commotion is all about.
The first guy tells the priest, and asks him if he could
sort out the argument.
The priest takes the shorts, has a good long sniff, and after
pondering for a few moments he looks at the two men and says:
"Definitely boys shorts!......... but not from my parish!"
________________
Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and
now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and
the doctor began to deliver the baby.She had a little boy,
and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey,
Murph! You just had you a son,!'Ain't dat grand, !!'
Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor
spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet,!'
The doctor then delivered a little girl.
He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!!
She is a pretty lil ting, too....'Murphy got kind of puzzled
by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, Murph,
you just had yourself another boy, !'
Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'
The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably
something that happened during conception.'
Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'
When Murph and his wife went home with their three children,
he sat down with his wife and said,
'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline
and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'
She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'
Murph said, 'I'll tell you, ......it's a f"" kin'
good ting we didn't use WD-40.
_____________
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed
mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery
road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a
grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity,
and kept repeating, "Why did you die? Why did you die?" The
first man approached him and said,"Sir, I don't want to
interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of
hurt and pain is more than I've ever seen before. For
whom do you mourn so deeply? Your Child? A parent? Who,
may I ask, lies in that grave?"The mourner answered,
"My wife's first husband! ... Why did you die? Why
did you die?"
______________
Two vampires wanted to go out to eat . . .
. .. .but were having a little trouble deciding where to go.
They were a little tired of the local food in Transylvania
and wanted something a little more exotic. After some
discussion, they decided to go to Italy because they
had heard that Italian food was really good.
So off they went to Italy and ended up in Venice. On a
bridge over one of the canals, they hid in the shadows and
waited for dinner. A few minutes later they noticed a young
couple walking their way. As they neared, the vampires
made their move. Each vampire grabbed a person, sucked
them dry and tossed the remaining bodies into the canal
below. The vampires were extremely pleased with their
meal and decided to have seconds. Another young couple
approached a few minutes later and suffered the same fate
as the first - sucked dry and tossed into the canal below.
Our vampires are now fairly full but decide to get dessert.
In a short while a third young couple provides just that.
As with the first two couples, these people were also
sucked dry and tossed over the rail into the canal.
The vampires had had a marvelous dinner but it was time
to head back home. As they started to walk away they began
to hear singing. They were puzzled because no one else was
on the bridge. As they listened, they realized that it was
coming from the canal. They looked over the rail and saw a
huge alligator in the water under the bridge,
feasting on the bodies.They listened as the alligator sang:
You don't know what the alligator sang, do you?
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
Here it comes....
"Drained wops keep falling on my head..."
____________________
Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and
raised in Mexico?"
Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any
Mexican Jews?" and the waiter said, "I don't know Senor,
I'll ask the cooks."He returned from the kitchen in a few
minutes and said "No sir, no Mexican Jews."
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you
absolutely sure?" The waiter, realizing he was dealing with
"Gringos" gave the expected answer, "I will check again, Senor!"
and went back into the kitchen.
While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe
that there are no Jews in Mexico, Our people are scattered everywhere."
The waiter returned and said "Senor, the head cook said there is
no Mexican Jews." " Are you certain?" Al asked once again.
"I can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter, "
All we have is Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews."
______________
FUN PAGES
Balloon Eater
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38556&s=n
4 Nose Slugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41427&s=n
Luigi's Revenge
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41597&s=n
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Two Short Of A Threesome
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agdhhs.htm
XBox
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgh.htm
Efficiency
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghdjj.htm
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Helicopter Refuelling Accident
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000708.html
Helsinki Complaints Choir
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000709.html
Herbal Elements for Men
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000710.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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