THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
A dream is just a dream. A goal is
a dream with a plan and a deadline
____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Be Who You Must Be
I don't know where you are on your path;
I have never stood in your shoes;
I see not with your eyes.
I know not what your purpose is here,
In this stage of your evolution.
But I feel blessed to know you
As you are not in my life by chance.
And you are my teacher,
As I hope you learn from me.
I pray I show reverence to you.
I pray not to judge you.
I wish to let you be
Who you are,
Who you dream of being.
I will just be beside you
And watch you grow.
And the day will come for sure,
When we will know why
Our paths crossed this way.
And until then my friend,
Be who you must be.
-------------------
Washington (CNN) -- More than 2 feet of snow piled up
at the nation's capital as a blizzard pounded mid-
Atlantic states Saturday, cutting power to hundreds
of thousands in the region in what the president
referred to as "Snowmaggedon." Snow fell from southern
Indiana eastward to New York, Washington, Pennsylvania,
Delaware and the New Jersey coast, gripping states a
nd snarling traffic.
So, did you miss the "Snowmaggedon on Saturday?" I feel for
all of you who did not. You are probably digging out right now.
I hope that your power gets turned back on
soon. We went for a couple of days here last week
without power. I almost considered buying myself a little
generator. Just to have something as a back up. Fortunately,
for us on Saturday, the weather was clear. Cold. but nary
a single snowflake. Today appears to be the same. Cheer up,
put an extra coat on, make a little chocolate. It will
get better soon! I promise!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
in the audience
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l060.html
a coma
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l061.html
terrible
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l062.html
screaming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l063.html
mud
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l064.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l065.html
bad timing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l066.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l067.html
wet basement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l068.html
the winner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l069.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
man shortage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9047.html
good brakes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9048.html
snowmobiles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9049.html
tire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9050.html
stealing food
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9051.html
a major wave
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9052.html
rollercoaster
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9053.html
______________
A Sailor met a good looking blonde at the bar and was
trying to get Laid without much success."I don't date
servicemen," she said, "but I am curious as to why you
Sailors have those two rows of buttons on your pants."
"Why, that's because we have two dicks," the sailor replied.
"Interesting, probably twice as much fun," replied the blonde,
"let's Go to my place and try them out." So they did, and
after the first screwing the blonde says "Boy that
Was sure nice, now that I'm rested and still horny,
I want the other One." Where upon the sailor undid the
other side of buttons, pulled out a Limp, weary-dick,
looked at it and sadly declared
"Well, I'll be damned! He's pouting because he wasn't FIRST!"
____________
Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower:
Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent,
Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well,
damn, someone should go and tell his wife.
Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff,
I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case
of Budweiser.Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?'
'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' Ronnie replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead
and she gave you beer?' 'Well, not exactly', Donnie says.
'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be
Cooter's widow."She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a
widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.'
Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.
_______
A doctor is doing the rounds of a maternity ward. "And when
is Mrs. Smith's baby due?" he asks the nurse.
"The 5th of September," replies the nurse.
"I see," says the doctor. "And how about Mrs.Jones?"
"She's due on the 5th also," replies the nurse.
"And Mrs.Evans?" says the doctor.
"She's also due on the 5th," says the nurse.
"And, don't tell me Mrs. Brown is due on the 5th as well,"
says the doctor."I don't think so," replies the nurse.
"She didn't go on the church picnic."
________________
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife
anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist,
'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you,' Jim added,
'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum
cleaner will work better now.'
_______________
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the
IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa
showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir,
you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment,
Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. '
How about a demonstration? '
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I
can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk,
and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never
get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly
manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach
the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates
all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney.. 'This morning, when Grandpa
told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five
thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your
desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!
_____________
1. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss: The Pope only expects
you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
there's shipping and handling, too.
______________
FUN PAGES
Driving Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38549&s=n
Must Wash Hands
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41409&s=n
Shrek's Mom Is Ready For You
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=32906&s=n
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Alabama Death Penalty Execution
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012803.htm
Aussie Beaches
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012804.htm
Baseball Flash
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012805.htm
_____________
SYDES JOKES LIST
Gun Powder Explosion
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000678.html
Fire
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000679.html
Halloween Scream
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000680.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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