The Postman's Corner!
Much learning does not teach understanding.
Heraclitus (c.540 - c.475 BC)
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The school board here in our fair West Michigan
city voted just last week to close another 5 schools.
This comes as no big surprise to many of us
residents. Public schools have been closing in
force since the '90s here in Michigan. It all began
when the legislature passed the bills which allowed
public school vouchers, and thus allowed parents to
pick the school of their choice. Duhh. Who would not
want to send their child to a different place than
one of the city schools? Eventually the bills led to
the formation of "Charter schools." and students left
public schools in droves. And then, at the end of
the 90s, the mass exodus was fueled and expanded by
a huge loss of population in our fair state. Michigan
people respond very much in a practical way when they
don't have jobs, they move. So an ever growing drop in
enrollment has seen a mass closing of schools in this
town like you never saw before. Interestingly, 8 years
ago when our dear Governor Granholm ran for election, her
"format for change" was going to be a strong emphasys
in education, which was going to "turn the Michigan economy
around". However, Granholm and the current legislature balanced
the ailing state budget by trimming 150 dollars of
State funding per pupil out of State educational coffers.
Altho our governor and lawmakers let our state down,
I can only hope that the same does not happen to our
nation in the area of health care.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
different
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l040.html
you haven't changed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l041.html
I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l042.html
closet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l043.html
another beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l044.html
wow Judy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l045.html
punishment
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l046.html
Lord grant me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l047.html
12
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l048.html
donors
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l049.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
naked funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9035.html
bath prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9036.html
Banned Burger king commercial in New Zealand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9037.html
Coca Cola
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9038.html
the 12 year old bullfighter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9039.html
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the
children of Israel "Pick up your shovel, mount your
asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land".
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your
shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel,
this is the promised land".
Now Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses,
raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land!
______________
Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new
milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in
Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-
Scandahoovians out there). He drives to Nordakota,
finds the farm and looks at the cow He reaches under
to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and
pulls...the cow farts. Ole is very surprised. He looks
at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches
under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls,
and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so
after some discussion with the cow's owner, Ole decides
to buy the cow and takes it home.
When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor,
Sven, and says,'Hey, Sven, come look at dis ere new cow
I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.
Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow in
Nordakota, didn't yah?'
Ole is very surprised since he had not told Sven about his trip.
Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how'd yah know?'
Sven says, 'My wife's from Nordakota'
___________
A small boy ran down the street in search of a cop.
Eventually finding one, he begged, "Please come back
to the bar with me. My daddy is in a fight!"
The officer accompanied him back to the bar where he
found three men involved in a violent fist-fight. "OK,
son," said the cop, "which one is your daddy?"
"I don't know," said the boy. "That's what they're fighting about!"
______________
A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell
rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach
was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him
between the eyes and scampered off.
The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the
doorbell rang again. When he answered the door, the cockroach
was there again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and
karate chopped him before running away.
The third evening, the man was sitting at home when the
doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was
there yet again. It leapt at him and stabbed him several
times before running off. The gravely injured man managed
to crawl to the telephone and summoned an ambulance.
He was rushed to intensive care, where they saved his life.
The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds. He asked
the man what happened, so the man explained about the 6 foot
cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near fatal stabbing.
The doctor thought for a moment and said,
"Yes, there's a nasty bug going around."
______________
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on
the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and
cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bath room, someone had taken a
bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired
of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart !
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No.
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
________________
An old man and old woman had been married for about 52
years when one day the old woman died. The entire family
showed up to the funeral. Every day after the funeral
the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and
spend a few minutes out there.
About two months later a priest saw the old man out there
with his dog and decided to go talk to the old man.
"Hello there. You know, we see you come out here every
day to visit your wife's grave and we just think that so
sweet. We were all wondering if the dog is something that
was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you."
"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave.
I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"
____________
FUN PAGES
Prince of Persia Game
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41550&s=n
Dentist Electric Chair
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=34739&s=n
Do Beer, Not Drugs
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38550&s=n
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BUFFALO BILL
Never Smash WD-40 can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajhkj.htm
New product Nut
http://www.buffaloschips.com/abhjk.htm
New Shoes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjlkj.htm
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SYDESJOKES LIST
Green Fields Of France
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000672.html
Green King IPA
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000673.html
Grocery Store
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000674.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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