[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 2-24

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

buffalo says: Not everyone agrees with me.

As a retired AMERICAN autoworker. Your full of BULL . 3 millionth of
a inch...LOLs,
Packaging , with that mutch a 1157 light bulb would cost big $$$$.
Wondering.. WHOSE side you fought on during the war.

Paridox

The part we are talking about was a Toyota flywheel " R " Type used
only in Japan. It had a tolerance on the bore, the part that fits on
the
crankshaft of .0004 or four ten-thousands of an inch which is
measurable
with either air gaging or a CMM. To insure this size the final step
was
to run it through a ball-sizer, a press that actually presses a
solid
carbide ball through the bore. They were rejected for being one
micron
above the high limit which is 3,937 millionths of an inch. It is a
new
world out there and a lot of people work in microns using precision
grinding to achieve those tolerances but that is normally reserved
for things like aerospace work.

The 1157 bulb that you mentioned is a 12 volt dual element bulb that
was used for brake light, taillight, turn signal applications from
the
mid 50s till the 80's and the last one I bought was on a bubble card
with two lights for about a buck. It weighs about a half-ounce and
we probably never shipped many overseas as they made their own.
Comparing that with a 20 lb. flywheel, a precision machined part
that had to get halfway around the world free of dirt, rust, and
damage
is like apples and oranges. Packaging and shipping was expensive
but you were taking a 20 dollar casting and turning it into a 250
dollar assembly. As long as scrap was low life was good.

You have every right to be proud of the work you did and of being
a member of the UAW. However we were doing something that you
never did. We sold parts to companies like Maserati and Toyota
bringing Japanese dollars back into the United States. When the
automakers were importing engine assemblies from Germany and
Japan and even whole vehicles they were sending American Dollars
to foreign countries along with your jobs.

Finally I was born during the Korea War and the vessels I was
aboard during Vietnam all flew American Flags which was good
as I don't think the Vietnamese make black pajamas big enough
to fit me.

Enjoy the chips and really I have no reason to BS anyone, it would
be much easier to leave the space blank.

buffalo

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Rooster Chips
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John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred
young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize
the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into
the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached
them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could
tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by
just listening to the bells. John's favorite rooster, old Barack,
was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Barack's
bell hadn't rung at all.

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy
chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the
roosters coming, could run for cover.

To John's amazement, old Barack had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to
the next one.

John was so proud of old Barack, he entered him in the Renfrew
County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Barack the "No Bell
Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Barack was a politician in the making. Who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly
coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the
populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible.

Gordon

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Chess
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31805.htm

PMS Meaning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31806.htm

Vampire Community
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31807.htm

One Way To Look At Things
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31808.htm

Dead Wood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31809.htm

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Poker Chips
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Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally
dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table
to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any
underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit
back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife
followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under
there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he
did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs
of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested. Sue told him
that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't,
Jim should be at her house around
2 p. m. Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, Jim showed
up at Bob's house at 2 p.. m. sharp and after paying Sue the
agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their
transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual,
Bob came home from work at 6 p. m. And upon arriving, asked his
wife, 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?' With a lump in her
throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this
afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly
asked, 'And did he give you $500?' Sue, using her best poker face,
replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.' Bob, with a
satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came
by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised
he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me
back.'

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Sandwich Chips
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9 years old.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is
already on the lower bunk. So he and his girlfriend climbed into the
top bunk.

As you expected, things began to heat up. The guy remembers that his
brother is sleeping below, so he tells his girlfriend to whisper,
"Lettuce" if she wants it harder, and "Tomato" if she wants a new
position.

She screams, "Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Whoa!!!
Pull It Out Now! I Can't Get Pregnant!"

Then the little brother shouts, "Hey, would you two guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!"

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Spark Chips
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Young Tim has just finished high school and, not being too bright,
he
wants to get a job at a local mechanic's workshop in Christchurch.
Tim spies this advert for a job in a Motor Spares Shop and hurries
over. Unfortunately, when he steps in there are already 2 guys there
before him. Tim with tears in his eyes explains to the manager that
he really needs the job. Manager looks at him and says, "You know
what Tim - I'd really like to give you this job but see these two
guys are here before you .. you're going to have be really something
special to get this job you know!" Tim thinks now, mmmm, and then he
says, "well boss, there is one thing - if you take a spark plug and
stick it into my arse - I can tell you what type of spark plug it
is." The manager goes "Wow .. that's something - lets test you out!"
So Tim turns around and drops his pants. The boss takes a Bosch
spark plug and shoves it into Tim's arse. Tim
goes "eeeeeeeeeeee ..... Bosch!!". The boss, goes .. "Wow, that's
really something - but lets test you out again!" He takes a NGK
spark
plug and shoves it into Tim's arse. Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeee .....
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guy out! He unzips his pants, takes out his penis and sticks it into
Tim's arse. Tim goes "eeeeeeeeeeeee .... Champion!!!"

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Lion Chips
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A gorilla is walking through the jungle. He parts the bushes by the
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sticking up in the air.

The gorilla thinks to himself that it would be really funny if he
snuck up behind this "King of the Jungle" and slipped him the ol'
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Then he pulls out and runs away, laughing his head off. He thinks
it's the funniest thing he's ever done in his life, fucking the
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gorilla.

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puts on a set of safari cloths with the pith helmet and everything,
picks up a paper, sits down with the paper held up in front of his
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The lion sits up with a start and says, "Jesus! It's in the paper
already!?"

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Short Chips
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Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new
drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a
convent?

The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit forming.

A guy cuddled up to his wife and softly whispered into her ear:
"Could we make love, please dear?"

She rolled over away from him. "Not tonight, darling, I've got a
splitting headache," she replied rather tersely.

Too horny to read the obvious signals the husband pleaded. "Please,
honey. I'll only stick it in for a minute"

"What do you think I am," his wife retorted, "a fucking microwave?"

Doug and Bill were discussing the new secretary at
their office.

Doug to Bill: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we
had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my
wife!"

Two days later.

Bill to Doug: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as
well, but she sure isn't a lot better than your wife."

~~~~~

Mary: Don't you just hate when you want ONE cookie, but you have to
buy whole bag to get one?

Jill: Right! Or maybe you want ONE doughnut, but you have to buy the
whole box of a dozen!

Mary: And the hotel charges for the whole night when you're going to
use it for only a couple of hours!

~~~~~

Doug went to a psychiatrist and said, "Doc, I'm really worried about
my wife. Yesterday she posed for a nude picture."

The psychiatrist said, "Well I wouldn't worry about that. It's
probably just an expression of her interest in art. What was the
nude
picture for?"

Doug said, "Her driver's license."

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva w/World of White
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Life's Railway To Heaven
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Surfin Surfari

International Space Station Via Larry
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Arctic Sea Ice News & Analysis Via Dianne
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What Does the Bible Say About Tattoos?
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

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Twisted Brush Open Studio
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Movie Links

Strip Poker
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81824.htm

Sumsing Turbo 3000
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81825.htm

Sure Lock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81826.htm

Swan Song
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Talent
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Helicopter
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Hombres
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Hot Dog
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How To Blow Away A Deer
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Random Chips
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"Oh Mom!" sobbed Little Mary, "I'm pregnant!" "What!? How could
you?" screamed the Mother,"and just who is the father?" The daughter
lifted up her tearful face and wailed,"How should I know? You're the
one who would never let me go steady!"

There was a virgin who was going to get married. She asked her
mother if it hurt when you had sex. Her mother said not really, but
to help you can use Vaseline. So the virgin goes and buys a jar and
puts it in her suitcase. At the hotel room on her wedding night,
she is lying in bed while her husband is in the bathroom getting
ready. She decides to rub a little Vaseline on. He comes out of the
bathroom and she says, "Oh MY!", and then rubs a little more
Vaseline on. He gets half way across the room and she says, "Oh MY
GOD!!" and rubs a little more on. He gets right beside the bed and
she says, "HOLY SHIT!!!" and puts the rest of it on. Her husband
stands there for a moment and takes a look. He then walks over to
her suitcase, takes her rosary beads out and starts to wrap them
around his penis. She says, "What the heck are you doing?" He
replies, "It looks a little slick. I thought I'd put some chains
on."

Emerging from the chiropractor's treatment room, a young man said
aloud to his friend waiting for him in the crowded waiting room, "I
feel like a new man!" "I do, too," a middle-aged woman responded,
"but I'll probably go home to the same old one."

Wife: "Why don't you ever call out my name when we're making love?"
Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

Two young brothers, aged 5 and 6, are listening through the keyhole
as their older sister is making out with her new boyfriend. They
hear her say, "Oh, Jim, you're going where no man has gone before!"
The six-year-old says to his brother, "He must be screwing her in
the ass!"

Stan Kegel

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Toon Chips
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some day, Jimmy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o027.html

1 year anniversary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o028.html

should've known
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o029.html

Home Made Olympics
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000729.html

Home Made Tank
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Home Plumber
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Limerick Chips
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There once was a poor man named Crocket
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch,
So she cranked on the switch,
And Crocket took off like a rocket!
________________________________

There once was a woman from New Zealand
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
________________________________

There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
But he hadn't the knack,
And he got too far back --
In the right church, but in the wrong pew.
<Snagged by>
Ross

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Parting Chips
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Not surprising for a state that boasts the third, sixth and
seventh fattest cities in America, this story comes from
Texas, where according to the natives, everything is bigger.

Houston police say a man weighing nearly 600 pounds concealed
a 9mm handgun in his layers of fat for more than a day while
in custody.

George Vera, 25, was arrested and held in the city jail for
a day before being taken to the Harris County Jail. There,
he revealed to police he was hiding the handgun and two clips.

The report did not say why Vera was arrested.

Police representative Gary Blankinship said Vera's weight
made it easier for him to hide the gun from officers. "We
teach officers to lift up and look under," Blankinship said,
eliciting several gags and retches. "The officer may not
have arrested anyone this big before."

"Basically short of strip-searching or searching cavities,
they could miss something like this." or a remote control,
a cell phone, a stash of candy bars, a hub cap...

The Houston Police Department and Harris County Sheriff's
Office said they have begun internal investigations into the
incident.

Heather

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yet another recycled joke....

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an
administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to
Heaven.
The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell,
and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.
"However", the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can
be rectified".
Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell.
On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from Heaven
and they stop to have a chat.
"Sorry about the mix up", apologizes the Pope.
"No problem" replied Tiger Woods.
Pope: "I am really anxious to get to Heaven"
Tiger: "Why is that?"
Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary"

Tiger: "You're a day late."

Randy

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was published in the Daily Oklahoman

Challenges, A Roadblock Or a Building Block

When in the Air Force I received a head injury that caused me to
have
seizures. It kept me from making the Air Force a career. I served
my one
hitch, four years but was discharged with a normal discharge with an
* on
my discharge papers meaning with medical circumstances. I found out
that
* kept me from obtaining jobs..factory jobs, driving jobs,
construction jobs.
I became depressed. So I searched inward and decided to not look at
what
I could not do, but what I could do. I have been in the ISD
business since
1971, I got discharged from the military in 1966. I also have done
consulting work and even preached at four churches. I am a
certified
lay counselor (Stephen Minister). I feel that I came to the fork in
the road
and my disability offered opportunities not limitations. I also
have written
stories that have been in several books...so I can say from
experience
our limitations are in our mind. Oh yes, I have 27 grandchildren
and
2 great grandchildren and a loving spouse.

BJ Cassady
Guthrie

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Remember 9/11/01

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William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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