Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Over the past few months volunteers put over a 1000 man hours
of work into creating an outdoor rink for a classic hockey game
between our high school and Marquette, a long time rival. The rink
was built on the football field so the bleachers could be used and
the crew worked until the last moment with a Zamboni to give them
the best possible service. 2000 fans supporting the two schools
were in the stands when the puck dropped..... and the game lasted
just under 4 minutes.
Remember I said yesterday that it was 36 degrees outside which
is great for sitting in the stands but rather warm for playing.
Although
the ice looked perfect, the temperature made it gummy almost like
trying to skate on a Fudgesicle that has been out of the freezer for
a few minutes. ( No I didn't test that analogy as the girls don't
leave
any when I buy them.)
The game took a 40 minute break while the players and fans moved
a mile and a half to an indoor rink that was held in reserve in case
this
happened. The players just changed into shoes for the drive, most
of them even leaving their helmets on and when everyone was seated
the game restarted, unfortunately the Sault lost 6-2.
Enjoy the chips and have a nice weekend... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice for men:
5 Sexual Techniques to Make Her Wild with Desire and YOU happy till
dawn!
From a good American friend of mine who states this really does
work!
Between being married a long time, and also being a woman, I can
tell
you blokes that there are certain things you can do to make your
wife
swoon. They aren't difficult, anyone can do them and they are some
of
the most sexiest things I can think of... and I have quite the
imagination!
So. Are you ready? Are you a real man? Wipe that drop of drool from
the corner of your mouth and read on....
Technique #1 : Wet Hands (One of the best)
Yep, it is the wet hands technique. Certainly one of the most
popular
among most women of today who were recently polled for this article.
So simple. So exciting. You will leave her almost breathless.
Fill the kitchen sink up with hot water and add a few drops of a
scented dish liquid. Not too many, you don't want it to be harsh.
There are many very nice scents out now, from vanilla and lavender
to
grapefruit. It is completely up to you. With a soft cloth in your
hands plunge your hands into the water and get the cloth very wet.
Now, moving slowly and gently place a dish in the water and rub the
cloth Across the surface of it.. over and over again. Place the dish
in clean rinse water and repeat until she is moaning with pleasure.
Technique #2: Vibrate Me Baby
This technique utilizes what many women think of as toys... It is a
little more difficult and takes a little more muscle, but you being
a
big strong man, I know you can do it.. Extra credit on this one if
you
wear a black "wife beater" shirt at the same time. Are you man
enough?
Carefully pull the vacuum out of where it has been stored. You know
you want to. Plug it in and push ALL the right buttons. * Slowly
move
back and forth and back and forth across the carpet, you will know
when to move to a new spot. Move to the next spot and repeat as long
as it takes to get results (I hear they are graded from A to G so
keep
it mind as you work away and head for that G spot!).
Technique #3 : The Wet T Shirt Game
This game is pretty easy, although you will have to think quickly
while in the midst of gettin' your game on. If you can handle the
amount of agitation and vibration in the first few minutes you will
be
o. k. until the end.
You will need two piles... no I did not say poles, I said piles. Put
everything white and light coloured in one and everything dark
coloured in the other. Fill the washing machine with warm water and
laundry soap (this is imperative..
manufacturer)
letter about how great her eyes are while you are waiting for it to
finish. Repeat with the dark colors except use cold water. Quick
note:
If your wife is screaming "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Don't stop what you are
doing.. that is called domesticus interruptus and it really is
frustrating for women.
Technique #4: What Goes Up Must Come Down
This is best used as the quickie, whether in the middle of the night
or during a chaotic afternoon. She can't say no to this one. When
you
put the toilet seat up.... put it back down... Every time.
I know... I know.. you almost can't take any more verbal
titillation.
Good thing this is a short list. This last one is amazing. It is
incredible..
You don't have to thank me... no.. really. Good luck all you blokes
out there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
bring your own
http://www.thepostm
google
http://www.thepostm
new club
http://www.thepostm
Hillbilly Maths
http://sydesjokes.
Hindu Santa
http://sydesjokes.
Hipopotamo
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Senior Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harold
is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner,
Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder
his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87,
wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before you know it,
several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred
and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"Sex," he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I
held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "But it would be nice if a woman could just
hold it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes
his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
Afterward,
they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they
would sit and talk while Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then
one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure that he was
okay. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him
sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was
holding Harold's manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have
that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Wine Enthusiast:
There are lots of good wines out there but, very often price doesn't
dictate quality. Put simply, if you like a wine, it is good, if you
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pecker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker
were in Mexico arguing about which country had
the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker
claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker
could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge
and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no
problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the
Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that
was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently
used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker
expressed confidence that he could do it and
accepted the challenge.
The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican
woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called
'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How
is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to
peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker
was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither
was able to peck the tree in his or her own
country?
After much woodpecker pondering, they both came
to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods
was right, when he said, your pecker gets harder
when you're away from home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vicki was still feeling a bit weak and not up to
par after her recent bout with the flu and went
to see her doctor. After a quick examination, he
said, "You look weak and exhausted! What have you
been doing? Are you getting out in the fresh air,
getting enough exercise, and having your meals 3
times a day, as I advised on your last visit?"
Vicki looked up, a bit surprised and exclaimed,
"Oh doc, I've sure been getting the first two,
but on that last one, I woulda swore you said
three males a day!"
A blonde gets carried away at a pet shop and ends
up buying over a hundred goldfish. When she gets
home she finds that there are so many of them
that the only place she can keep them is in her
bathtub.
One day she invites her friend over to see all her beautiful
goldfish.
The friend is impressed and remarks, "They surely
are beautiful, but what do you do when you want
to take a bath?"
"Oh, that's not a problem," the blonde replies, brightly, "I
blindfold them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aussie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Insults In Aussie
* "I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on
your shoulders."
* "Not enough brains to giv! e 'imself a headache!"
* "About as useful as tits on a bull."
* "You must be the world's only living brain donor."
* "He's a few wanks short of an orgasm."
* "She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard."
* "He had a head on him like a sucked mango."
* "May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny
down."
* "He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."
* "So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him
'til the bell rang!"
* "Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."
* "Pull your lip over your head and swallow!"
* "As ugly as a hat full of arseholes."
* "If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave
it's arse and make it walk backwards."
* "Got a face like a bashed in shit can."
* "Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground."
* "Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse."
* "Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist
full of fifties."
* "About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-
kicking competition.
* "I'll kick your! bum till your nose bleeds!"
* "A stubbie short of a six pack." "Seen better
heads in a piss trough."
* "You're as handy as shit on a stick." "Tighter
than a fish's arse."
* "So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit
him."
* "Face like a smashed crab."
* "As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."
* "He could talk a dog off a meatwagon."
* "F**ked in the head."
* "You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie."
* "He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door."
* "Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast."
* "Your face is like a twisted ugg boot."
* "He's got a face like a cat licking shit off a
thistle."
* "She's been hit with the ugly stick too many
times."
* "She's two pick handles wide."
* "An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."
* "As ugly as a bag of spanners."
* "You've got a head like a dropped pie."
* "He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts
give him away."
* "I wish his dad had settled for a blow job."
* "Fell out of the ugly ! tree, and hit every branch
on the way down."
* "Your the load your mother should have swallowed"
* "If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."
* "Wouldn't know if someone was up him sideways with
an armful of deck chairs."
* "As thick as two short planks!"
* "You got a head like a busted watermelon"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 Online Lies
10. "I'm in this private room consoling a depressed friend".
9. "You're different...
about someone I've never met before."
8. "I'm new online and haven't had time to create a
profile.....
7. "I never do cybersex!! Yet here in this room alone
with you, well I'm getting excited"
6. "Yes of course I'm female......
5. "No this is my only screen name....You mean you can
have more then one?"
4. "I'm 5'4, blonde hair, blue eyes and guys love my body!"
Male version is "I'm 6'0, great tan, and buffed from working out"
3. "I'm not like most of the guy's here, I just want to meet
so we can just have coffee and get to know each other" (at
the hotel coffee shop)
2. "I don't care what you look like, it's whats on the inside
that counts" (Which is true,except it means "I'm horny and could
care less, just type")
1. "Tonight my love........
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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breeze.
Order one today and get a second one at no charge.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Crossings5
http://www.silveran
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
Marlene/If You See A Man/
http://summerhoosie
John w/ Yes I Understand (Patsy Cline)
http://heavens-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
demotivational posters Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Make your own Ultimate Paper Plane
http://www.guardian
People Of Walmart
http://www.peopleof
Weird New Jersey
http://www.weirdnj.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Tutorials Via Sally
http://www.lingolin
http://www.lingolin
http://key4song.
The Bat
http://www.ritlabs.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Endangered Wolf
http://www.shangral
Real Eagle Story
http://www.shangral
Kitty Korner
http://www.wtv-
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Movie Links
Hot Sex
http://www.buffalos
How I crashed my Harley
http://www.buffalos
How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
http://www.buffalos
How to get rid of a one night stand
http://www.buffalos
How to carry plywood
http://www.buffalos
Love Bird
http://www.buffalos
Love Hurts
http://www.buffalos
Megan True Love
http://www.buffalos
Men Invented Everything
http://www.buffalos
Mouse
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny is visiting his cousin in the country and they decide
to go for a walk down the back roads. After about three miles they
find a used rubber lying by the road.
"Hey," Little Johnny, the dumbass city boys says, "look, some cow
lost one of its titties!"
"Let's go give it to the farmer!" says his cousin.
So, they work they way up to the farmhouse. They knock on the door
and out comes the farmer.
"Hey, Mister, we found a cow titty. Ya want it back?" says Little
Johnny.
The farmer didn't feel like conducting a mini sex ed seminar, said,
"Sure, uhhh, here's a dollar for your trouble."
Little Johnny hands over the rubber and head on back down the road.
After a little while Little Johnny says "You know, I bet we could
have got more than a buck if I hadn't drank the milk out of it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Boss
http://www.buffalos
Bad Milk
http://www.buffalos
Cards
http://www.buffalos
Stripper Strike
http://www.buffalos
Billy's Plan
http://www.buffalos
Coke Job
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We know cunnilingus is grand,
But what I cannot understand,
Who was the first guy,
To give it a try...?
I think we should give him a hand!
____________
Tim Had Traveled To Peru
In Search Of The Ultimate Screw.
When His Trip Was Complete,
He Zipped Up His Meat
And Said To The Ladies, ''Thank You!''
____________
This beautiful harlot from Lubies,
Won fame for possessing two rubies.
It's not big red stones,
That makes her so known,
It's the nipples on mountainous boobies!
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old widow and widower named Mary and Steve get married. They are
up there in age, and the romance, engagement and marriage was quick.
They hoped they had enough strength to live through their wedding
day and night. After the marriage ceremony, they retire to a nearby
hotel.
Both are very nervous. Cautiously they begin to undress in front of
each other. In the process, Mary, the old woman, removes her false
teeth and puts them in a glass. Mary then removes her prosthetic leg
and leans it against the wall.
She looks up at her new groom and smiles nervously, and Steve is
intently watching... Mary continues. She removes her bra which
contains false inserts; she removes a glass eye and gingerly places
it in a special box on the nightstand. Again she shyly smiles at her
aged spouse, and Steve continues to stare in an interested manner.
As Mary takes off her wig, she realizes that Steve is not making
much progress in getting undressed.
He's stopped undressing and is just staring at her.
She asks him, "What are you waiting for?"
Steve quickly replies, "You know what I want. Take it off and throw
it over here!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a raffle at the local Jewish Community Center and prizes
are
being drawn. "4th prize, which goes to Hymie Himmelfarb, is a Rolls
Royce." Huge applause. Hymie goes up to collect his keys and shake
hands. "3rd prize, which goes to Frank Myers, is a Rolls Royce and a
check for $10,000." Huge applause. Frank goes up to collect his keys
and check and shake hands. "2nd prize, which goes to Abe Epstein, is
a
piece of fruit cake!" Ghastly silence. Abe goes up to the stage to
the
presenter. "What do you mean, a piece of fruit cake? 4th prize was a
Rolls Royce, 3rd prize was a Rolls Royce plus a check for $10,000,
so
what the hell do you mean a piece of fruit cake for the second
prize?"
"Ah," says the presenter, "This is special fruit cake. It's made by
the Rabbi's wife" "Fuck the Rabbi's wife" says Abe, hysterically.
"What? You want the first prize as well?" came the reply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1531
Bath Time --- Rudy
Diana: BJ, it is time for us to give the dogs their bath.
BJ: Groan...you are right of course...but let me change into my
swimming
trunks. Who should we go after first?
Diana: Rudy. He is the worst and the biggest.
BJ: The biggest baby you mean.
Diana: Yeah.
After changing...BJ has the large washtub filled with water and
bubble
bath.
BJ: Oh Rudy...
Rudy: Yeah Pops.
BJ: Gotcha...
Rudy: Where are we going? No, No, No, not the..
Splash!!!!
Diana sings: Splish splash I was taking a bath..
Rudy howls: A-Roo!!!!!
BJ: Hang in there Rudy, let me scrub you down...Some where you
have white hair.
Later....
BJ: Don't you feel better... You are clean.
Diana: Don't look at BJ like that Rudy.
Rudy: %#@$!
Diana: I will wash your mouth out with soap.
Rudy: Yes, mother.
BJ: First time he has ever called you mother toots.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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