THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
A ship in the harbor is safe.
But that's not what they are built for
-------------------------------------
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
our planet is populated with plenty of
bizarre and astonishing creatures.
Here are three from the Bat Family .....
without the need for resorting to fiction.
Sucker-footed Bat
Red-Winged Fruit Bat
Left-Winged Ding Bat
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________________
THE COMICS
panties
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n040.html
Sparky's life mission
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n041.html
simplest
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n042.html
walk on water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n043.html
your fault
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n044.html
a good time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n045.html
telemarketers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n046.html
a little useless
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n047.html
deoderant
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n048.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
banned from the superbowl #1
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9127.html
banned from the superbowl #2
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9128.html
banned from the superbowl #3
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9129.html
banned from the superbowl #4
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9130.html
Subject: CIA Columbia Obama Cover Up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9131.html
72 virgins
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9132.html
cow football
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9133.html
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16
or so. I went in to buy A packet of condoms at
the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman
Assistant behind the counter, and she could see
that I was new at it. She handed me the package
and asked if I knew how to wear one. I Honestly
answered, 'No, this is my first time.'
So she unwrapped the Package, Took one out and
slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to
make Sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently
still looked confused. So, she looked all around
the store to see if it were empty. It was Empty.
'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door,
and locked It.. Taking my hand, she led me into
the back room, unbuttoned her Blouse and removed it.
She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do
These excite you?' She asked Well, I was so dumb-
struck that all I could do was nod my head.
She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it On, she dropped her skirt,
Removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
'Well, come on', she Said, 'We Don't have much time..'
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that
Unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and
KAPOW. I was done within A few moments.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put
that condom on?' She asked.
I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb
to show her. She liked
To beat the shit out of me...
____________
A redneck went to see the Louisiana doctor and
he put in a complaint because his wife was having
too many little babies! She was having at least
one per year. He commented, "Doc, ya gotta help
me, I cain't git enough Welfare or steal enough
ta feeds 'em all!" The doctor got down his medical
reference book and looked up the problem. He told
his patient, "The book says if a man's bitch
was having too many brats, the doctor should
remove the man's right testicle." He then
administered anesthesia with beer bottles, took
out his pocket knife an' performed the surgery.
Three years later the man was back at the doctor's
office complaining the surgery had failed; she was
still havin' at least one kid per year! The doctor
took his book back down and studied the
problem. The doctor said, "Well, the book says
if your wife is having too many brats to remove
your right testicle, we done that. If she still
has too many brats, then we should remove the left
testicle. Butcha won't be able to git no nookie!"
Once again he got a beer bottle an' his pocket knife
and performed surgery. Another three years later,
the SAME man was back complaining that operation had
once again failed! His wife had 2 kids and was
about 7, 8 months along with his thirteenth!
The doctor was quite perplexed and got his book back
down. After several minutes of study he told his patient,
"It says right here if a man's wife is having too many
brats to remove his right testicle. If she continues
to have too many brats, remove his left testicle.
We done did all that. However, the next page says,
"If the man's wife still has too many brats after you have
removed both testicles, you done castrated the wrong man!"
____________
In a recent survey, people from Detroit have proved
to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!
The survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm
Brut, show that a huge 86% of Detroit residents say
they have enjoyed sex in the shower.
The other 14% say they hadn't been to prison.
____________
A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a
larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation ---
no one wanted him to leave.
Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city,
stands up and proclaims, ... 'If the Preacher stays, I will
provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife
with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands
and says, 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll
personally double his salary, and also establish a
foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!'
More sighs and loud applause.
Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
'If the Preacher stays, ... I will give him sex!'
There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her,
'Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?'
Sadie's 90-year-old husband Jake is now trying to hide,
holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking
his head from side to side, while his wife replies,
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help,
and he said,... 'Screw him!'
_____________
A father walks into a book store with his young son.
The boy is holding a quarter.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking, getting blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has aspirated the quarter and
starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman,
in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar
reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her
coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places
it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her
way, unhurried, across the book store.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants;
takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and
twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs
up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in
her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin
to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar
without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill
effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts
thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything
like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
FUN PAGES
Lingerie Bowl
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20491&s=n
Octopus Eats Self
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=39817&s=n
Must Wash Hands
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41409&s=n
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
IKEA Adverts
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90203.htm
I love the beach
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90204.htm
Indian teacher explaining the word fuck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90205.htm
___________
SYDESJOKES LIST
High Speed Camera
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000714.html
Highway Explosion
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000715.html
Hijack
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000716.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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