THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Never interrupt your enemy when
he's making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte 1769-1821
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Did you see that article on yahoo the other day?
it suggested that 'Being bored could be bad for your health'
excerpt...
LONDON – Can you really be bored to death?
In a commentary to be published in the International
Journal of Epidemiology in April, experts say there's a
possibility that the more bored you are, the more
likely you are to die early.
Annie Britton and Martin Shipley of University College London
caution that boredom alone isn't likely to kill you — but it
could be a symptom of other risky behavior like drinking,
smoking, taking drugs or having a psychological problem.
I dunno why they would think that. Doesn't make any sense to
me. I wake up in the morning at 6am. See the wife off to work.
615am. I'm bored. think I'll take a nap.
10am Have the rough draft ready for The postman's Corner
tomorrow. I'm bored, think I'll take a nap.
1230pm. Had lunch, went for coffee, read my book.
Came home. I'm bored, think I'll take a nap
1-5pm. Watch court tv all afternoon. Turk the dog says
its time for a nap. What the hell, I'm bored,
think I'll take a nap.
5pm wife comes home from work ...Begins to discuss the
activies of my day. "So what did you do all day?"
"Oh, I was really busy." And when I fail to mention any
thing constructive that I have accomplished for the day,
she begins to add to the famous "honey do" list.
(You know, "Honey do this, Honey do that" )
I would have stayed to listen to her, but you see, I
was bored...so I decided to take a nap:)
See? no matter how bored I am, I can always think of
something to do.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
men and women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m040.html
beautiful woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m041.html
fuck a fly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m042.html
prozac
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m043.html
oh brother
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m044.html
last meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m045.html
In Iraq
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m046.html
part of an hour
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m047.html
relax Barb
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m048.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
rubber cement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9081.html
Noland's Cheddar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9082.html
sweet truck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9083.html
2 democrats
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9084.html
bus crash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9085.html
viagra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9086.html
WHO RAN THE BIGGEST PONZI SCHEME IN US HISTORY?
Bernie, or Uncle Sam?
_________________
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding
through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something
far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried
forward, only to find a little old Jewish man at a
small stand, selling ties.
The Taliban asked, 'Do you have water?'
The Jewish man replied, 'I have no water. Would you
like to buy a tie? They are only $5.The Taliban shouted,
'Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water!
I should kill you, but I must find water first!'
'OK,' said the old Jewish man, 'it does not matter that
you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will
show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue
over that hill to the east for about two miles, you
will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold
water you need. Shalom.'
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.
So how did it go? Said the old Jewish man.
"Your f****ing brother won't let me in without a tie!"
_______________
A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar
and ordered a triple scotch. As the bartender poured
him the drink he remarked,"That's quite a heavy drink.
What's wrong?"After quickly downing his drink, the man
replied "I got home and found my wife in bed with my
best friend." "Wow" exclaimed the bartender, as he poured
the man a second triple, "No wonder you needed a stiff
drink. The second triple is on the house." As the man
downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him
"What did you do?" "I walked over to my wife" the man
replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her
that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get
the hell out." "That makes sense" said the bartender,
"but what about your best friend?" The man replied,
"I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said
'bad dog!'"
_________________
was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a
desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define
"great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole
world will read, stuff that people will react to on a
truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream,
cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
_______________
A little old lady was selling seashells
On a street corner.
One afternoon a well dressed man
Passed by her, and she grabbed his arm.
"How about some nice seashells?"
She asked.
"No, thank you Ma'am," the man replied.
Suddenly the woman clutched her throat
And fell to the pavement shaking,
"What's wrong?" asked the man.
"I'm going fast," the old woman wheezed.
"Please buy some shells."
Deeply touched, the man handed over
Enough money for all the shells
Just before her eyes slid peacefully shut.
The next day the man was walking down
A neighboring street and saw the woman
Again vending her wares.
"Hey," he yelled to a nearby police officer,
"I thought she passed away yesterday."
The officer smiled knowingly.
"Ah, but you were conned," he said
"You see, she sells seashells by the seizure."
_______________
A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His
business was failing, he had put everything he had
into the business, he owed everybody -- it was so bad
he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort
he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears
and woe.When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's
what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your
Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take
the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit
down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap.
Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but
finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page.
Look down at the page and read the first thing you see.
That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the priest
and brought his wife and children with him. The man was
in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat,
the children shining. The businessman pulled an
envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave
it to the priest as a donation in thanks for his advice.
The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious.
"You did as I suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
______________
Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park
themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the
bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip.
I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.'
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make
polite conversation while pouring the beers. 'Been on
holiday yet, lads?''Off to England next month,' says John.
'We go to England every year, hire a car. and drive for
miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees.
'Ah, England !' says the bartender. 'Wonderful Country ...
the history, the beer, the culture....'
'Nah, we don't like that British crap,' says John.
'Hamburgers & Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim? And we
can't stand the English; they're so arrogant and rude,
not civil and polite like us Canadians.'
'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.
'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive...
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
I Like Boobs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dgjgja.htm
Idiot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsassd.htm
IKEA Ford
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhdskj.htm
____________
SYDES JOKES LIST
Harley Hazard
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000693.html
Harmonica Player At Carnegie Hall
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000694.html
Harrier Crash Into Sea
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000695.html
______________
FUN PAGES
M&M Empire
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38557&s=n
Fat Fun
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41411&s=n
Desk Top Fishing
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41570&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM"
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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