Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Fans of the Discvery Channel's, Deadliest Catch will be saddened to
hear of the death Phil Harris, the Captain of the Cornelia Marie. He
suffered a major stroke last month and never recovered. I can relate
totally to his bout with blood clots 2 years ago. The mangement of
medication is difficult enough on land where testing is readily
available but at sea even a change of diet can make you susceptible
to either a clot or possibly bleeding to death depending on how your
clotting time is affected. Phil's smoking and sedentery life style
sitting for hours at the captain's chair also increased the
probabilities
of another clot but it is hard to watch your ship, your children,
and your fortune in the hands of another captain, even a close
friend like Murray. Phil would have never been happy that way, but I
guess we will have to wait for the next season to see the story.
What's every one crying about the snow ? We haven't gotten enough
snow to shovel since Jan. 15th but Washington has been shut down all
week for a severe dose of global warming. If they can do it for
another 365 days we stand to save 4 trillion dollars.... Quick all
of you Native American types, we need a snow dance and your
great-great-
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perfect Fit Buttons are the quickest and easiest way to add or
remove inches from the waistband of your pants. Each Perfect Fit
Button locks firmly in place so you can change the size of your
clothing instantly and no one will ever know that you're wearing it.
You'll receive four Perfect Fit Buttons for jeans, khaki, brown and
black pants.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The young man was trying to impress his Jewish girlfriend during
Hanukkah and was totally shocked when she slapped him after he asked
if he could light-up her labia menorah.
Two gals setting in cocktail lounge. Time is about 8:30 P.M. Said
one:
"It looks like a dull evening. By golly, if I'm not in bed by 10
o'clock, I'm going home!"
Did you hear Tonya Harding and Michael Jackson bought Aqueduct
Racetrack? She's going to do the handicapping and he's going to
ride the three-year-olds.
A couple were applying for a marriage license. "Your name?" "Ole
Olson." "And yours?" "Lena Olson." "Any connection?" The bride
blushed. "Only vunce. He yumped me."
Usually the staff of the company play football. The middle level
managers are more interested in Tennis. The top management usually
has a preference for Golf. Conclusion: The further you go up the
corporate ladder, the smaller the balls get.
The locale was a nudist colony. The boy and the girl were strolling
through the woods. Shyly his words reached her blushing ears:
"Don't look now but I think I'm falling in love with you."
Did you know that Muslims face Mecca to pray; New York Reform Jews
face the 'Stage Delicatessen'
Why can't a penis be 12 inches long?
Because 12 inches is a foot.
How are airplanes and women alike?
They both have cockpits
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
crazy
http://www.thepostm
cold
http://www.thepostm
have you ever wondered?
http://www.thepostm
Hamster Mail
http://sydesjokes.
Hand Puppet
http://sydesjokes.
Happy Doughboy
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pumpkin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was
charged
with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public
intoxication. The suspect explained that as he was passing a
pumpkin
patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to
stop,
'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no
one
around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around'
he
stated in a telephone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the
road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose,
cut a
hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was
really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed , Lawrence failed to notice an
approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer
Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's
for
sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just
banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe
what
happened when she approached Lawrence ...'I said, 'Excuse me sir,
but do
you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?
'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then
he
looked me straight in the face and said... 'A pumpkin? Shit ....
is
it midnight already?'
This was in the Washington Post....the title of the article was
'Best
Come Back Line Ever.'
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomato Giant - Gardener's Choice Tomato Tree
Grow tomatoes as big as grapefruits - up to 2 lbs each. These giant
tree tomato plant can grow up to 8 feet or taller in just 90 days
producing up to 180 lbs of supersized tomatoes.
For only $10 you not only get 3 tomato trees, but you'll also
receive 3 of our big early hybrid tomatoes - just pay S&H.
Supersize your tomatoes today.
Order Now
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snail Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for
some important guests. The wife was very excited about
this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very
last minute, she realized that she didn't have any
snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband
to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some
snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked
out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As
he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful
woman strolling alongside the water just a little
further down the beach.
He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if
she would even just come down and talk to me?" He
went back to gathering the snails.
All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman
was standing right over him. They started talking and
she invited him back to her place. They ended up
spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next
morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's
dinner party!!"
He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast,
grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down
the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the
stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that
when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the
bucket of snails. There were snails all down the
stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry
wife standing in the door way wondering where he's
been all this time.
He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he
looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come
on guys, we're almost there!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Completely Relax your Arms, Neck and Shoulders.
The Cozy is the most versatile comfort system in the world and is
great for power naps and is the perfect travel companion. Each Cozy
is handcrafted from thick, high-quality fleece for a luxuriously
soft feel. Now you can sleep comfortable on your couch, favorite
chair or even on a plan.
Bonus Offer If you order the Cozy Premium Comfort System you'll also
receive the neck pillow, arm hammock with iPocket, ultra soft large
fleece blanket, and collapsible travel case.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parrot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from
Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the
entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in
front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential
colors.
One day, they heard, "yellow, blue, black."
One of the nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the
colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to the
other two nuns, but both were reluctant to believe that could be
possible.
The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front
of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke,
"black, black, black."
Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished! One of the nuns
spoke up,
"Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird." Saying that,
she recommended that the next day, none of them should be wearing
any underwear under their vestments.
Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no underwear,
and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house.
Initially, the parrot looked a bit puzzled, he swung back and
forth on his perch.
Then, after a while, the Parrot said,
"Straight, Straight, Curly!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Provide Peace of Mind to Your Family. Term Life Insurance is an
Investment in your Family's Security!
In these difficult times, we know that nothing can be certain.
Be certain about your family's stability should something happen to
you.
Find out about the benefits of Term Life Insurance!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gentleman goes to see the doctor about getting something done
about his missing penis, which he lost in the war. The doctor
asks the man how many males were in his family and the gentleman
replied seven. The doctor said if they all agreed, he could take
an inch off of each male and the gentleman would have a eight
inch penis.
The gentleman asked the other males in his family if they would
agree to having the surgery and everyone said yes. The next day
all eight males went into the hospital to have the surgery. After
it was all performed the doctor told the gentleman that he had a
brand new eight inch penis, but to be extremely careful with it
and to come back and see him in a week.
The next week the gentleman goes back to see the doctor and the
doctor asked him how his new penis was working. The gentleman
replied,
"Great doc, but I only have one question. Who's brilliant idea
was it to put grandpa's part in the middle?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grater Plater - The Plate that Grates
Grate cheese, garlic, ginger and more. Grater Plater is designed
with hard and tempered ceramic so it never dulls. It also is tripled
glazed so nothing sticks to the surface. It's safe to the touch even
for the softest hands.
Buy 1, Get 1 for the low price of $10.
Get More Info
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Urinal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
So here I am in the men's room, standing at the urinal ready to
relieve myself. There was a row of three of them and I was on the
left. Someone else comes in. Now, for you ladies, it is impolite to
look closely or stare at other people when they are standing in such
a position (but you can't hardly help but see a glimmer through
peripheral vision) and certainly, if you look, you keep the eyes
shoulder high. So it was obvious, from that casual glance, there was
something different here.
The person who came in was a friend of mine and he was starting -
staring at the urinal next to mine. So I look too, and there is a
quarter down there. Well fine - it can just stay there. I mean,
would you? But Denny just stared at it for about 30 seconds. Then
he whips out his wallet and before you can say "boo" a $10 bill
joins
the quarter! What in the world is going on here? Then he reaches in
and fishes out the bill and the quarter.
"Denny," I say, "What in the hell are you doing?"
"Well, you didn't think I was going to go in there for just a
quarter
did you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rotoshave - The World's #1 Electric Razor
Rotoshave gives you the closest shave you'll ever get in 90 seconds.
With its patented multi-angled blade technology and curved head
design it adjusts to your shape while giving you a safe and smooth
shave.
Offer includes two cartridges, travel case, personal grooming kit
and demonstration DVD.
Get More Info
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Love is Life is Love
http://silverandgol
John w/ I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire
http://heavens-
hyacinth poetry corner/ Love
http://hyacinth.
Fears
http://www.carolspo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Snowmageddon in time lapse Via Dianne
http://dcist.
Military Pics
http://www.tom-
Billion Dollars
http://tinyurl.
Rare albino crows
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free Online Scans
http://www.kaspersk
http://www.bitdefen
http://www.pandasec
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.deafdogs
Kitty Korner
http://www.catfaeri
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Duck Job
http://www.buffalos
Excedrin
http://www.buffalos
Excuse Me Miss
http://www.buffalos
Fairytale Ending
http://www.buffalos
Flashlights
http://www.buffalos
Ollie
http://www.buffalos
Parrot Plays Golf
http://www.buffalos
Pepsi Please
http://www.buffalos
Pilobolus
http://www.buffalos
Ponies
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aussie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Great Aussie Love Poem
Of Course I Love Ya Darling You're A Bloody Top Notch Bird
And When I Say You're Gorgeous I Mean Every Single Word
So Ya Bum Is On The Big Side I Dont Mind A Bit Of Flab
It Means That When I'm Ready There's Somethin' There To Grab
So Your Belly Isn't Flat No More I Tell Ya, I Don't Care
So Long As When I Cuddle Ya I Can Get My Arms Round There
No Sheila Who Is Your Age Has Nice Round Perky Breasts
They Just Gave Into Gravity But I Know Ya Did Ya Best
I'm Tellin Ya The Truth Now I Never Tell Ya Lies
I Think It's Very Sexy That You've Got Dimples On Ya Thighs
I Swear Upon Me Nannas Grave The Moment That We Met
I Thought U Was As Good As I Was Ever Gonna Get
No Matter Wot U Look Like I'll Always Love Ya Dear
Now Shut Up While The Footys On And Get Me Bloody Beer!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time Life - The World at War - The most powerful documentary ever
made.
The ultimate visual history of World War II. From North Africa to
Stalingrad, D-Day, Iwo Jima, and Japan. Experience hours of footage
once deemed too shocking for the public eye. Unseen video collected
from the archives of 18 nations. Includes bonus DVD! Order now and
never look at WWII the same again
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
booty queen
http://www.buffalos
bottles
http://www.buffalos
bottom lines
http://www.buffalos
bottomless cheerleaders
http://www.buffalos
bought drink
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean-n-Green Laundry Ball
Imagine never buying laundry detergent again. Replace detergent with
Laundry Ball and you'll not only save money, but you'll be saving
the planet too. Each ball lasts up to 1000 to 1200 uses, sometimes
longer. Laundry Ball uses natural cleaning power oppose to
chemical-laden, water-polluting ingredients like laundry detergent.
Get the benefits of Laundry Ball today.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the kitchen he wanted to boff her.
Satisfaction he tried to proffer.
She replied, "I am sold,
But the floor is too cold."
So he made her a counter-offer.
____________
A methodical fellow named Wade,
Could recall every girl that he'd laid.
He recorded each poke,
Every thrust, every stroke,
And precisely how much he'd been paid.
____________
Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.
<snaged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golden Age of Country
Enjoy hours of memorable and influential hits from the 50's and
60's. This incredible collection features 158 hits from country
legends like Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, George Jones and more. Music
that truly represents the golden age in country music history.
Plus, you'll receive a special bonus volume.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man returns from Africa feeling very ill. He visits his doctor,
who
immediately rushes the guy to the Mayo Clinic.
The man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone in a stark room at
the
hospital and answers it.
"We've received the results from your tests," says the doctor on the
other
end of the line. "Bad news-you have Ebola."
"Oh, my God," cries the man. "Doc! What am I going to do?"
"Don't worry. First, we're going to put you on a diet of pizza,
pancakes,
and pita bread," says the doctor.
"Will that cure me?"
"No...it's the only food that'll fit under the door."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
DogPedic - Memory Foam Bed for Dogs
With the combination of memory and supporting foam, now your pets
can get the comfort they deserve. This bed conforms to your dog's
body giving them overall support and relieves arthritis, hip, joint
and muscle pain. Best of all, the waterproof liner prevents stains
and odors and stops liquid damage.
This offer is not available in stores.
Order your DogPedic today.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his
penis.
Woman asks, 'What are you?'
He says, 'I'm a Fireman'
'But you're only wearing a glass jar?', says the woman.
'Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob and I'll come as
fast as I can!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.
Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder
Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
Gift absolutely FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1521
The Games People Play
Rudy: Dad we were wondering if you would talk to us about other
games you played as a kid? We really liked marbles and had a blast
with it.
Katie: Yeah we had a lot of fun.
Sandi: Sure what games did you play back in the stone age days
daddy?
BJ: Okay we played a game called Kick the Can. Here are the rules
for
it.
Rudy looks it over: Looks simple.
BJ: Okay here is one called Hide and Seek it was probably the most
common game and everyone played it when I was young. One person
covers their eyes and counts to 20 while everyone else hides. With
you
guys it would be tough due to your heighten senses of smell, hearing
and such.
Rudy: I have a sense of such?
BJ: Of course we played Cowboys and Indians. We used peashooters
and those were fun, slingshots and a thing called grasshopper guns
made
from clothespins that could get pretty nasty.
Katie talking to herself: Peashooters huh?
BJ: We invented games... We were never bored as kids.
Rudy: You never needed batteries as kids?
BJ: Nope none needed.
Sandi: Ouch what was that?
Rudy: Ow! I think I was bit by a bug.
BJ: I think we have been hit by a peashooter.
Katie is grinning and trying to hit a large straw.
Rudy: Get her!
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment