[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Fri

 

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

As you have requested here is August's list of Bizarre Holidays.
Face it not a lot to get excited about during August, it's hot,
vacation's over, so here are some reasons to crack open a Bud or for
example on the 3rd, go get a large traditional watermelon, chill and
fill with vodka and enjoy.

8/1 Friendship Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
8/2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
8/3 National Watermelon Day
8/4 Twins Day Festival
8/5 National Mustard Day
8/6 Wiggle Your Toes Day
8/7 Sea Serpent Day
8/8 Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
8/9 National Polka Festival
8/10 Lazy Day
8/11 Presidential Joke Day
8/12 Middle Child's Day
8/13 Blame Someone Else Day
8/14 National Creamsicle Day
8/15 National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day
8/16 Bratwurst Festival
8/17 National Thrift shop Day
8/18 Bad Poetry Day
8/19 Potato Day
8/20 National Radio Day
8/21 National Spumoni Day
8/22 Be An Angel Day
8/23 National Sponge cake Day
8/24 Knife Day
8/25 Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
8/26 National Cherry Popsicle Day
8/27 Petroleum Day
8/28 World Sauntering Day
8/29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day
8/30 National Toasted Marshmallow Day
8/31 National Trail Mix Day

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Drink Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This guy went into a bar, sat down on a stool, and
ordered a Bloody Mary. The bartender said, "Sorry, we
don't have that, but we've got the next best thing."

The guy asked, "Okay, what is it," and the bartender
said, "We've got a Harry Man." The guy said, "No
thanks."

Then the guy asked, "How about a virgin?" and the
bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't have that either.
But we got the next best thing."

The guy asked, irritated, "Okay, what is it?" The
bartender replied, "We got a Furry Belly."

The guy looked around and saw everyone drinking and
said, "All right, fine, I'll have one."

So the guy had about five, and when he was finished the bartender
walked
over to him and told him how much he had to pay. He reaches deep
down
inside his pocket and pulls out a couple handfuls of food stamps.
The
bartender looked at the food stamps and said, "Hey, this isn't
money!"

And the guy says, "I know, but it's the next best
thing."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

football
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m074.html

end of the rainbow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m075.html

slut
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m076.html

Cat Will Ignore You For Food
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000324.html

Catching Cell Phones
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000325.html

Catholic Priests National Convention
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000326.html

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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill and Bob met at the club for their weekly golf game. And for the
third week in a row, it was raining too hard to play.
Bill: Well, Bob, what do you want to do now?
Bob: Darts?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Shoot some pool?
Bill: Nah.
Bob: Cards?
Bill: Nah. Hey, I've got an idea. We can go over to my house and
fool
around with my wife.
Bob: Whadaya mean?
Bill: Just what I said. We'll go to my house and we can fool around
with
my wife.
Bob: What about me?
Bill: She's a sport. She won't mind at all.
Bob: Well... if you think it's okay...
Bill: Sure. C'mon, let's go!
At Bill's house:
Bill: Honey, I'm home. Honey. Sweetheart! Damn! She must have gone
shopping. Tell ya what, Bob. Let's go to your house!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day Little Johnny went walking
around to check out his surroundings
and found a farmer selling chickens.
Little Johnny went over to the farmer
to see how much he was selling them for.

The farmer asked him if he wanted a
male or a female. Little Johnny asked
for both. So the farmer said, "Here you
go, one cock and one pullet."

Little Johnny got confused, and asked
him what he meant. The farmer said,
"A cock is a male chicken and a pullet
is a female chicken."

Little Johnny said, "Oh," and went on
his way with two chickens one under
each arm. A bit further down the road
he saw a donkey for sale.

He went to the man who was selling it
to find out how much it was. The
man said, "The ass is 15 dollars."

Little Johnny replied, "No, I want
the donkey out side in your yard."

The man just said, "That's an ass."

Little Johnny, new to these terms,
just said, "Oh," and bought the donkey.

As he was leaving the man yelled out,
"Wait, the ass gets a bit stubborn about
going over hills, so you have to scratch
him behind the ears to get him going
again."

So Little Johnny is going back home
and the donkey stops dead in its
tracks and he can't get it to move.
He can't scratch its ear because he
would have to drop one of the chickens
and it would run away.

So Little Johnny starts to fuss and yell
at the donkey. While he is doing this a
beautiful woman walks up and asks him
if he needs help.

(Little Johnny thinks, hey, why don't I try
to impress this beautiful woman by using
my new terms that I learned today.)

So Little Johnny turns to the woman and
says, "Yeah, could you hold my cock and
pullet while I scratch my ass?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veranda Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Jewish businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired
was
describing his life. "I get up late in the morning. I have a
fantastic
breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda and relax.
"I go inside for lunch, have great salads, the best coffee,
and I
go out and lie on my veranda again. When it gets dark, I have a
great
dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie
on
my veranda again."
The other Jewish gentleman acknowledges that this is a life
to be
envied.
Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked,
"What's his wife's name?"
Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bee Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young woman was walking through a field gathering spring flowers.
She
wore a sun dress, but no underwear.

When her husband came home for lunch she said she thought a bee
might
have gotten trapped "up there" inside her. Her husband took her to
the
emergency room.

The doctor said to the husband, "Let's rub some honey on your penis,
and
maybe it will coax the bee out."

The husband, refusing, said, "Hey I'm no doctor! I brought her here
for
professional help."

So the doctor rubs honey on his penis and inserts it into the woman.

The husband, next to her the entire time, sees that after awhile his
wife is starting to moan and sweat. He says, "Doctor, is it
working?"

The doctor, thrusting away, replies, "Coaxing it out didn't work. So
now
I'm going to try to shoot it out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEER vs. PUSSY!!! There are no losers...really.

1.Beer is always wet. Pussy needs a little work.
One point to BEER

2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to PUSSY

3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER

4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to PUSSY

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a
scene,
kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of Pussy your wife may
get
mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be
had
here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
I'll
just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten pussies in
one
night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to PUSSY

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any Pussy in public, you become a legend. One
point to PUSSY

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If
you
smell of Pussy he may buy you a beer.
One point to PUSSY

9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
Pussy and you'll think you've seen God. One point to PUSSY

11.. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties
is fun. One point to PUSSY

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to PUSSY

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle
or a
can.
One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down. One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner,ale,lager,etc. One point to BEER

1 7. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink
it. One point to BEER

20. Tapping a Keg... easy. Tapping a Pussy... may take you weeks.
One Point to BEER

Final Score: 11 BEER, 8 PUSSY

Randy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends

John w/ All I Have To Do Is Dream
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MARLENE/SWEETER THEN THE FLOWERS
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Ray Stevens "Mutant Kung Fu Chickens" from Billyjoe Bob
http://redneckpoetryshelf.com/rs/KungFuChickens.html

Melva/So Fine
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Surfin Surfari

Origin and Meaning of Golf Words and Terms
http://www.scottishgolfhistory.net/origin_of_golf_terms.htm

Who's Alive and Who's Dead
http://www.whosaliveandwhosdead.com/

Matchstick Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/matchstick.html

Western Shoot Out
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Hide & Unhide Desktop Icons (windows ) Via Wesley
http://xrl.in/2t1f

Android Apps Directory Via Wesley
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Add Your URL to Google
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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/SingingtothePuppies.ht
m

Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips

Don't Be Too Smart
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akiui.htm

Dragon Costume
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akjhk.htm

DUI
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adui.htm

Dunham On Marriage
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajhfdt.htm

Elephant
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajhikok.htm

English speaking FFs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfrf.htm

Erl I love you
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghygh.htm

Ethan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ffdd.htm

Euflorie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fgjkh.htm

Explain that to the boss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/cvbn.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Confucius Says, "Keeping it in family sure sound incestuous."

Second Man: "Well, my girlfriend and I went to the Caribbean, and we

made love three times a day." First Man: "Jamaica?" Second Man: "No,

she did it quite voluntarily" (Richard Lederer)

If you engage in oral sex first, it's not called head start.

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm

just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,

the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day,

my sister has never let me forget. (Faye Emerick)

Orgy: Grope therapy.

"Did you really suspect that he thought you were a hooker?" "Well, I

was pretty sure when he said, "I've been a really bad boy! Will it
be
extra if you have to spank me?"

How did the nymphomaniac describe herself in the Personal ad? As a
no
holes barred type of girl

Stan kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tape
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a94jr.htm

Cannot Be displayed
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aui9h.htm

Spongebob!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aoij90i.htm

01 Hooters Calender
http://www.buffaloschips.com/auyhgg67.htm

Real Bullshitter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjnb.htm

A Shit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfsvw.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.
_________________________________

There Was A Young Nun From Peru
Whom The Bishop Wanted To Screw,
But She Said 'The Vicar
Is Quicker And Slicker,
And Three Inches Longer Than You.'
_________________________________

There was a young man of L'Hore
Whose dink was one inch and no more
Which was all right for keyholes
And little girls' pee holes
But no good at all with a whore
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman was going to marry one of those guys that wants a virgin
bride.

Since she was not, she went to a doctor to reconstruct her hymen.

The doctor told her that would cost around $500, but there was
another
way that will cost only $50.

The woman agreed to try the cheap way, paid the money, and the
doctor
worked on her for several minutes.

After the "first night", the woman came back to the doctor and told
him
that it was perfect. The pain, the blood, everything was there. She
asked him how he did it.

"I tied your pubic hair together," he answered.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two old guys were chatting.

The first old guy says to the second old guy, "My 85th birthday was
yesterday and the wife gave me an SUV."

The second old guy responded, "Wow! That's amazing! Imagine, an
SUV! What a GREAT gift!"

The first old guy says, "Yep! Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Stop losing precious time and start losing pounds!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1655

Diana's Surgery

BJ: Ready to go to the hospital Diana?

Diana: Ready as I will ever be I guess.

Rudy: I have your stuff in the van Toots.

Katie: I have your wheelchair here mother.

Diana: I do not need a wheelchair going to the hospital Katherine.

Katie: Oh, just trying to be of some help.

Sandi, wearing her nurses outfit: We are going with you.

Diana: Oh dear.

Everyone gets in the van and off they go to the hospital...

At the hospital, Diana gets out and Rudy is shouting: Make way!
Make way, emergency!

Diana: It is not an emergency Rudy, this is a normal surgery.

To be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Thurs

 

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I finally upgraded to Internet Explorer 8.0 a few weeks ago and
frankly I like it. There was no large leap in technology like 7.0
was but the changes pop up as you are using it and you almost
wonder if it was always that way. Since I have been using it
I have noticed it is no longer necessary to clear my temporary
internet files. Less stuff written to your hard drive, less stuff to
erase later, and less stuff to navigate around while you are
accessing files.

I don't usually clear browser history on my computer as I use the
address bar to keep addresses I visited handy without having a
billion bookmarks. Microsoft made that easier by letting you
delete individual addresses from the address bar.

I have noticed that IE 8 does pull about 20 meg of ram more than
IE 7 did in the same application but it is not indestructible. Eva
kills mine about once a night running four or five flash
applications
in separate windows and it will pop a runtime error. If I am not
around to clear it, Eva will reboot the computer. She hasn't learned
how to use the function for reopening closed files but she knows
how to get to them in the bookmarks.

I like Internet Explorer 8.0. It is designed to work with the
greatest
number of websites and I don't have to spend a lot of time looking
for add-ons to fit my purpose. I paid 200.00 for an Operating system
and I want to use the browser it was designed to use.

Enjoy the chips .... buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A conceited new rookie was pitching his first game. He walked the
first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game.
The
rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, "Darn it, the
jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going.

Q. Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?

A:. Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

A blonde at a party was telling her friend that she'd gone off men
for life. "They lie, they cheat, and they're just no good," she
moaned. "From now on when I want sex, I'm going to use my tried and
tested plastic companion," she said.

"What happens when the batteries run out?" asked her friend.

"That's simple," replied the blonde. "I'll just fake an orgasm as
usual!"

A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It's a balmy spring day
and he is wearing a kilt.

A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is
worn
beneath the kilt.

"No lassie" he replies, "everything is in fine working order."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Cat Toilet
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000321.html

Cat Toy
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000322.html

Cat Welfare
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000323.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masturbation Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reasons Masturbation Is Better Than Real Sex

1. Your hand always lets you finish first.
2. It's free.
3. Same reason my Chevy is better than a Ferrari: It's all I can
get.
4. You call the position.
5. "Premature ejaculation"? hehehe
6. No weird looks when you pull out the peanut butter.
7. Your privates are your best friend.
8. Your girlfriend is just a piece of skin that you have sex with.
9. Gives a single man good reason to wash his socks.
10. Easier to join their "Mile High Club."
11. You get to scream out your own name.
12. Peeing is considered foreplay.
13. Nobody ever says, "Why is it all green and wrinkly?"
14. You'll never have two women, but you'll always have two HANDS!
15. Four words: "Brad Pitt hand puppet."
16. You can do it and play Interactive Top Ten at the same time.
17. Don't have to clean up fur afterwards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds

Slap Chop makes chopping up vegetables, nuts and fruits quick and
easy. The food gets finer with every slap - you'll never need to
switch the blade. Slap Chop is dishwasher safe making clean up a
breeze.

Order one today and get a second one at no charge.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/slap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bridge Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young woman in Cheboygan was so depressed that she
decided to end her life by throwing herself into the
Straits. She went to the Mackinaw Bridge and was about
to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young
sailor saw her tottering on the rail, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much
to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if
you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder
and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me
happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all,what did she have to
lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her
life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her
in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought
her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made
passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she
was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she
explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's
screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the
Mackinaw Island Ferry."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keep Your Food Fresh Up To 50 Days Longer

Always Fresh Containers help extend the lifespan of your fruits,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Motto Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personal Mottos

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

Do I look like a fucking people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

And just how may I fuck you over today?

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

One of us is thinking about sex...
OK, it's me.

I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I
leave the house?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

Earth is full. Go home.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out all I wanted was
paychecks.

It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Swirly Hair Clip

Style your hair without the crimp. Swirly flexes to style hair
perfectly and it holds it firm without tearing your hair. It comes
with the Swirly Hair Style Guide that's full in color and accordian
style for easy viewing.

Style your hair without the crimp today.

View Website

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taxi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maureen O'Murrah had taken a Manhattan taxi home from work, since
both
of the ladies she usually carpooled with had taken sick. In the
confusion of the short-handed office staff, and hurrying downstairs
to
meet the cab, she had left her purse behind.

As the cab pulled up to her apartment building, she was looking
about
the seat for her purse when the driver told her the price of her
ride.

In great embarrassment, she said, "Ach. I'm not believin' I did
this,
Sir, but me purse isn't here. I must have left behind. I'm sorry,
but
I'm not havin' the money to pay you just now."

The driver was...well, he was a Manhattan taxi driver. He said,
"That's
all right Missy, I'll just pull down into that dark street ahead,
and
get back there with you, and I'll just take your panties off."

Maureen chuckled, and said "Shure, an' it's the poor end of the
trade
that you'll be gettin'. These panties only cost eighty-nine cents."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer 10 questions and your Death Date will be revealed

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Butter Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man is showering in a locker room with his buddy when he notices
for
the first time, that his friend is very well endowed. "Damn Bob,
you're
hung!"

Jim exclaims. "I wasn't always this big, says Bob, "I had to
exercise
and work for it."

"What do you mean?"

Jim asked. "Well Jim," Bob responds; "every day for the past two
years
I've spent an hour each night rubbing it with butter. I know it
sounds
crazy but it actually grew 4 inches. Why don't YOU give it a try?"
Jim
agrees and the two say good bye.

A few weeks later the two are in the same locker room and Bob asks
Jim
how his "BIGGERIN" project was coming along.

Jim replied; "I did what you said, Bob, but I've actually gotten
smaller! --
I lost two inches
already!"

"Did you do everything I told you? -- an hour each day with butter?"
asks Bob.

"Well, I was out of butter, so I've been using Crisco."

"Crisco?!?" Bob yelled; "Dammit Jim, don't you know? Crisco's
shortening!..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

World's Most Convenient Multi-Use Steamer

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Steam up your life with Steam Buddy.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Auntie
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/ThankYou/ThankYouAuntie.html

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http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/LIFEINTHEMANUREPILE.HTML

Carol w/ Sea of Life
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Downfall
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Surfin Surfari

Cash for Clunkers Eligible Trade-In Vehicle List - Edmunds.com
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Paper Furniture - How cool ! Via Wesley
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Unusual Museums and Strange Weird Bizarre Collections
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Discovery Kids
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Freeware Firewall
http://www.filehippo.com/download_sygate_personal_firewall/

Animated Cursors
http://sites-at.110mb.com/andys-animated-cursors/index.html

WebMaster Utilities_ Perl Archive
http://www.perlarchive.com/Webmaster_Utilities/index.shtml

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/SingingtothePuppies.ht
m

Zoo Animals
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/zoo.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips

Depression Medication
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjgf.htm

Hand Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfre.htm

Disappointment
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghytg.htm

Don't look away when I'm talking to you
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adffg.htm

Don't Work From home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akuji.htm

Egg Trick
http://www.buffaloschips.com/drere.htm

Einstein
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdfgg.htm

El Rey Del Martillo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hgtg.htm

En weg zijn re rimpels
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkl.htm

Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/okik.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The show girls had entertained the troops all afternoon at a remote

army base. After the performance, the major asked, "Would you girls

like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers?" "It doesn't
matter," one bold girl replied. "But we would like something to eat

first."

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount

you or eat you!

A guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says,

"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."
The
wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says, "If you
weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow." The
guy
replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, you'd realize I

was talking to the sheep."

Why is food better than men? Because you don't have to wait an
hour
for seconds.

How do we know that the bikini was invented for orthodox Jews? It
separates the meat from the dairy sections.

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods, when the Big
Bad
Wolf jumps out and says, "Argh! I'm going to fuck you." She says,
"Bull-shit. You're gonna stick the script, and you're gonna eat me,

you hairy bastard."

Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time

Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
Jack in your phone, preset your radio to 99.3 FM and you're ready to
start talking.

Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.

View Website

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

24 Hr Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aef.htm

36 Long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/auygo.htm

50 Cal
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a3r4g.htm

69 For Dummies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a980uj.htm

69th
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a34rr.htm

Escape
http://www.buffaloschips.com/a823.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get Your Diabetes Meal Planner

Click below and answer a few questions to get your meal planner.

http://buffaloschips.com/planner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When a horny old man fell asleep in the sun,
the zipper on his fly somehow came undone,
He awoke with a smile,
Said, "My gosh, a sundial,
And it's not a quarter past one.

There once was a woman from Latch
Who jacked herself with a match
She got so excited
Then damn thing ignited
And burnt all the hair off her snatch

There was once man named Penn
who said "Let us do it again,
And again and again
and again and again
and again and again and again!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Egg Genie - Automatic Egg Cooker

Steam cook eggs to perfect consistently whether its soft, hard or
even medium boiled. Egg Genie has a light and sound indicator to let
you know when eggs are done. It's also great for steaming
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crispy bacon in your microwave.

Prepare perfect eggs with Egg Genie.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/egg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A famous British aviator relates:

Women pilots relate every aspect of their lives to aviation.

The first lady said her lover was like a Cessna Aero-bat
got up to operating height very quickly, capable of amazing
aerobatics,
but with a short duration.

The second lady likened her man to a Piper Cherokee -
slow to climb, but with an endurance of no less than 4 hours.

The third lady thought hers was like a Tiger Moth,
coming out once a year for the annual display, and
relying on a hand start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the USA Honor Society, we believe that everybody deserves to be
recognized for their talents and achievements. That's why we need
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Englishmen, out for a night on the town, picked up a couple of
women in a dimly lit pub and began touring the town. In another pub,

while the ladies were occupied in the powder room, one of the men
whispered to the other: "I say, old man, would you mind if we
switched
dates?" "No," said the other. "But yours seems a decent sort, what's

wrong with her?" "Nothing much," replied the first, "but between the

smog and the grog and the fog, I seem to have picked up an aunt of
mine."

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flies Away

Stop swatting, shooing, and spraying and get the ultimate
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Protect your farm, your home, your property, and your
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Just add water plus the bait and hang outside. That's it!

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Traps & Kills up to 20,000 flies!

Currently used by farmers, equestrians to get rid of flies.

Patented, bio-degradable and non-toxic bait, used by the U.S.
Military.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM

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__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner! special announcement!

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am loading up the motorcycle right now
as I type this. Very shortly, I shall be
headed down the road for a little road trip
for a few days. Not sure where I am going,
not sure when I will get there, and not sure
when I'll get back.  (after all, that is the
whole point of a road trip, right?) This
means that I'm gonna take several days off
from THE POSTMAN'S CORNER and you won't have
any jokes for a while. Don't worry, I'll
be back soon! :)
Martin aka the postman

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Wed

 

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Well they opened my parent's safe yesterday, not with the
combination but with a Sawzall and a splitting maul. It was probably
packed full of asbestos but Don opened it, not me. In addition to
Insurance policies and deeds anticipated that were found was the
combination to the safe and it did not strike a memory with anyone.
Instead of being almost empty though, it was a time capsule of my
parents life and marriage with birth certificates, pictures, report
cards, and records of important decisions that my parents had made.
Unlike our President, I would no problem showing my birth
certificate now.

I am enjoying a quiet moment right now as the females of the
household all went shopping. I did enough of that last week even
venturing into our brand new Wal-mart Superstore. It was more a
matter of necessity than curiosity as wandering through a large
store is more energy than I normally wish to expend but I have
gained so much weight since I intended anything I needed some new
dress clothes. In the end I was
forced to do most of my shopping at JC Penny which is
expensive but one of the few places that does stock for big people.
What really caught me by surprise was my neck. I used to wear a 17
and a half men's shirt. I bought a 20-21
figuring it would be loose but comfortable and it was short by
two inches. It fits but no wearing a tie with it. Maybe some day I
will be able to buy off the shelf again but for the moment it is
Penny's, mail order, or T-shirts and jogging pants.

Enjoy the chips and I hope you are well, all is well here.

buffalo

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman took an inexperienced man home one night. When they got to
her apartment, she suggested that they try a 69. "What do you mean?"
he asked. Not knowing quite how to explain, she said "you put your
head between my legs and I'll put my head between your legs" Still
unsure but willing, he agreed. As soon as he got his head between
her legs, she let out a rip-roaring fart. "What the hell was
that?!?" he asked. "Oops! I'm so sorry! Let's try again" she said.
On the second attempt the very same thing happened. The man
immediately got up and started getting dressed. "Where are you
going?" she asked, to which he replied "If you think I'm sticking
around for 67 more of those, you're crazy!

A third grade school teacher was trying to explain to her class the
difference between singular and plural. She said, "What do you call
it if one woman looks out a window?" Charlotte said, "Singular." The
teacher said, "That's right Charlotte. Now, what do you call it if
three women are looking out of a window?" Little Johnny raised his
hand and blurted out, "A whorehouse!"

You can tell she's getting old when you give her a sensual foot
massage, and while you're down there, go ahead and rub her breasts
as well.

If a Ram is a Sheep,
And an Ass is a Donkey,
Then how come a ram in the ass is a Goose?

Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local
minister comes walking around the corner. The minister says, "My,
Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving that sheep a beating. You
wouldn't do that to your wife, would you?" The farmer says, "I would
if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to mount her!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

I'm going
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m070.html

chick flick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m072.html

darn human
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m073.html

Casual Friday
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000318.html

Cat Carrier
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000319.html

Cat Scan
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000320.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In 1983, China set out to teach birth control to its rural
population. Doctors appeared on television and demonstrated the use
of condoms and birth control pills.

A mere year later, birth rates INCREASED and the program was
declared a "complete fiasco."

After a survey was taken, the cause of the program's failure became
apparent. 79% of MEN were taking birth control pills, and 98% of men

were putting condoms on their fingers--just like they saw in the TV
demonstrations.

"Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl.

"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash

down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far
up as possible."

"Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."

At his wedding reception, the young groom's grandad congratulated
his grandson and said: "The secret to enjoying a long and happy
marriage, is to listen to each other at all times, respect each
other's wishes

and to try and have sex in moderation. That way, your marriage will
last as long as your grandma's and mine has."

Thanking him for his advice, the grandson said: "What's sex like
then when you get older, grandad?"

His grandad looked at his grandson, smiled and said: "Just like
trying to play pool with a piece of rope!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reagan Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged
young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's.

Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster,
extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster
to the point that to make himself well known to her,
he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having
been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the
following letter from Nancy Reagan sent to Hinckley at the
mental facility where he is being treated:

To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you
how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in
your recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding
and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a nonpartisan
consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.

The Reagan family and I want you to know that no grudge is
borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above
all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have
driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident
that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to
your family to join the world again as a healthy and
productive young man.

Best wishes,
Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has
been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado.
You might want to look into that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keep Your Food Fresh Up To 50 Days Longer

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jewish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Jewish Bubbah had waited a long time for a male grandchild. After
four girls, there was a boy. She doted on him. On his fourth
birthday she took him to Coney Island. After many rides, toys and
treats, Bubbah noticed that her little ainicle (grandchild) was
uncomfortable. She asked him what was wrong.

He replied, "Ich darf pisshen" (I need to urinate).

Looking around, she could see no bathroom available so she took the
little boy into a narrow alley between two buildings, took down his
pants and, as he peed, began to kvell (express a special joy that
could come only from one's offspring).

She said repeatedly, "A leiben aff don petzele!" (Bless your little
penis.) "S'hut vert a millyun dollas!!" (It's worth a million
dollars).

While she doted with overflowing satisfaction on her evaluation, a
man opened a window in the nearby tenement, looked down and called,
"Lady, efsher ihr vilt aroof koomen, mir gib'n a! ! n estimate?"
(Perhaps you would come up here and give me an estimate?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Swirly Hair Clip

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Style your hair without the crimp today.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

String Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe was in the corner bar having a few when his friend Phil dropped
in and joined him. It didn't take long for Phil to notice a string
hanging out of the back of Joe's shirt collar that Joe kept tugging
on.

Finally Phil couldn't contain his curiosity, and asked, "What the
hell's that string for?"

"Two weeks ago I had a date with that dish, Linda," Joe explained,
"and when I got her into the sack, would you believe I couldn't get
it up? Made me so mad that I tied this string to my dick, and every

time I think of how it let me down, I pull the string and make it
kiss my ass."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer 10 questions and your Death Date will be revealed

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs.

Jones' lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. "It is really none of my
business," whispered Mrs. Smith, "but have you noticed what your
daughter is doing?" Why, no. Is she up to anything special?"

Mrs. Smith leaned closer. "Haven't you noticed? She has started
knitting tiny garments!" Mrs. Jones' troubled brow cleared. "Well,
thank goodness," she said smiling, "at last she has taken an
interest in something besides running around with boys!"

A man walked into a Porsche dealership, opened the door of a
Boxster, took a seat behind the wheel and smiled. A salesman
approached and asked, "Are you thinking about buying this car?"

"Oh, I'm definitely going to buy this car," he said, "but I'm
thinking about pussy."

Morris complained to his friend Irving that love making with his
wife was becoming routine and boring.

"Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try
'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Irving.

"Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an
hour?"

"That's easy...just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

World's Most Convenient Multi-Use Steamer

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Steam up your life with Steam Buddy.

View Website

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

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http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/Go.html

DREAMS COME TRUE
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A wonderful hymm and teaching - Listen here:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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Surfin Surfari

The Treehouse Guide
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Protect Native Indian Mountain
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Great Quotes From Great Leaders
http://www.simpletruths.tv/movies.php?movie=GQGL

Origami Dollar Art!
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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Hard Drive Check
http://www.fatguyutilities.com/workwin/useutils/hdd_chk.html

Bible Search
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Cloud Computing in Plain English
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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/babies_and_puppies.htm

Kitty Korner
http://poetrybyginny.com/STORYTELLERSCAT.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Clips

Crazy White Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/okoil.htm

Crime Scene Technology
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kggj.htm

Cubs Game
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khgfcf.htm

Cucumber Sandwich
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Dancing With A Man
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Dog In Pool
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Dogs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sddd.htm

Don't Smoke here
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Drill Team For Retired Guys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kkkkkk.htm

Earthquake
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsss.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tour Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory,
along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by
what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all
time.

Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned
substances were found in his southern France hotel room while on
vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de France.

The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap,
which have been banned by French authorities for over 75 years.

Armstrong's girlfriend, American rocker Sheryl Crowe, is quoted as
saying "We use them every day in America, so we naturally thought
they'd be okay throughout Europe."

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also
physically searched Armstrong and found several other interesting
items that they had never seen before, including a backbone and a
pair of large testicles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time

Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
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Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.

View Website

http://buffaloschips.com/jupiter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

coin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjfkdlgjdlgf.htm

col sanders
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjkfgjdflkgjfd.htm

cold
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cold as
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksdfhkdgfd.htm

cold as ice
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get Your Diabetes Meal Planner

Click below and answer a few questions to get your meal planner.

http://buffaloschips.com/planner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A horny young blond from Vancouver
Liposuctioned herself with a Hoover
Despite the seduction
Achieved by the suction
Was generally thought to improve 'er

In Las Vegas a maiden named Carol
Was arrested for wearing a barrel.
She'd not drawn the joker
While playing strip poker
And lost all her other apparel.

There once was a man named Bill
Who had a loyal wife named Hill
He played harmonica,
Made love to Monica
And now he's in for the kill!
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Egg Genie - Automatic Egg Cooker

Steam cook eggs to perfect consistently whether its soft, hard or
even medium boiled. Egg Genie has a light and sound indicator to let
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crispy bacon in your microwave.

Prepare perfect eggs with Egg Genie.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/egg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The old gentleman was aging more rapidly than he wanted.

"Your gout is getting worse," said the doctor. "I recommend that you

give up smoking, drinking and sex for a while."

"WHAT!" said the man, "just so's I can walk a little better? If it
wasn't for smoking, drinking and sex I wouldn't get out of my rocker

in the first place !"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts. She never had a
boyfriend so she went to a Psychic for help.

"Honey," said the Psychic. "You will not have luck in love in this
life. But, at the reincarnation, you will be a very desired woman
and all men will fall at your feet."

Jane left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she
thought, "The sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins."

She decided to jump off the bridge right away.

But, incredibly Jane didn't die!

She fell on the back of a truck full of bananas, she lost her senses
and fainted. As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being
able to see very well, and not knowing where she was, she started
touching her surroundings, feeling all the bananas she mumbled with
a huge smile on her face,

"Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Please! One at a time!"
.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flies Away

Stop swatting, shooing, and spraying and get the ultimate
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1654

More Inventions

BJ: So what else did you invent Katie?

Katie: Aha thought you would never ask. I invented warm ice cubes.
They do not last very long, but they are warm. I invented temporary
shoestrings. They last for about six hours. They are cheap, but
.... I invented disposable letters for books, as you read them the
letters fall off the pages. Then you can reprint the books with
other book titles. I invented a cool heater, that is the heater
never warms up to above fifty-five degrees, it is a green thing. I
have the same thing for an air conditioner, it never cools below
ninety degrees, very energy efficient. I have the twenty-five hour
clock for those people who live on the time line where the day
shifts between one day and the next. It is a small market, but...

BJ: These are all rather unique ideas Katie.

Katie: Unique is not the word father.

BJ: Yes, I had a different word in mind.

Katie: Genius.

BJ: Not quite the word.

Katie: Amazing?

BJ: Keep digging.

Katie: I am without words.

BJ: Close enough.

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM

__._,_.___

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