Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Up here the weather is staying at the freezing mark just long
enough for the off street parking restrictions to come off
tomorrow night. Once I can park back on the street again
the yard can thaw out because I won't have to drive on it.
The little bit of extra cold we have seen this winter has
been useful in that respect. It is unbelievable to see a complete
Spring thaw this far North this early in the year. Back during
my High School days it didn't thaw till the end of May and I
missed Baccalaureate services in June because of flooding
on our road.
I talked to Nancy last night late and she was pretty discouraged
with the problems we are having with the server on buffaloschips.
The movies have been loading slowly for about the past four days
at about the speed of dial-up. Nancy had spent the past twelve hours
trying everything in her bag of tricks to speed things up with only
marginal luck. We have eliminated everything except going to
Louisiana and beating the heck out of the server. We are both hoping
that the annual cleaning of the internet may be what is required
to speed things back up. In case you haven't heard about it,
*** Attention ***
It's that time again! As many of you know, each year the Internet
must be shut down for 24 hours in order to allow us to clean it. The
cleaning process, which eliminates dead email and inactive ftp, www
and gopher sites, allows for a better-working and faster Internet.
This year, the cleaning process will take place from 23:59 pm (GMT)
on March 31st until 00:01 am (GMT) on April 2nd. During that 24-hour
period, five powerful Internet-crawling robots situated around the
world will search the Internet and delete any data that they find.
In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that you
do the following:
1. Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their
Internet connections.
2. Shut down all Internet servers, or disconnect them from the
Internet.
3. Disconnect all disks and hard drives from any connections to the
Internet.
4. Refrain from connecting any computer to the Internet in any way.
We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some Internet
users, and we apologize. However, we are certain that any
inconveniences will be more than made up for by the increased speed
and efficiency of the Internet, once it has been cleared of
electronic flotsam and jetsam.
We thank you for your cooperation.
Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff
Main Branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Sysops and others: Since the last Internet cleaning, the number of
Internet users has grown dramatically. Please assist us in alerting
the public of the upcoming Internet cleaning by posting this message
where your users will be able to read it.
Please pass this message on to other sysops and Internet users as
well.
OK so that was a big load of April Fool's buffalo chips but we are
going
to continue running at least the clean movies from buffaloschips
till things
get back to normal, because after all slow is better than nothing.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Broken Spokes
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Foot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
That 70s Show:
The Red Forman Method of Dealing With Things
Eric: "Possesion is 9 tenths of the law."
Red: "How would you like my foot to be 9 tenths the way up your
ass?"
Eric: "I don't know, I think the ignition is broken."
Red: "How about I ignite my foot up your ass?"
Kelso: "Can I light this rocket in your house?"
Red: "Sure, then I can light my foot in your ass."
Eric (role playing): "If I could be any animal, I would be an
octopus, so I can put my foot in eight different asses."
Kitty: "If you wanted to be in somebody's shoes, whose would it be?"
Donna: "Well, I wouldn't be in Red's shoes, because I would go up
somebody's ass just about now."
(these are all Red)
"I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass your nose will bleed."
"How about I drive my foot into this thing called your ass?"
"You should read this book my foot wrote... it's called 'On The Road
To In Your Ass'!"
"You morons just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot's
looking for a room."
"I wish I had 2000 feet, so I can stick 500 of them in each of your
asses."
"My foot is about to drill a hole in your ass."
"You're lucky this table is between my foot and your ass!"
"You know what's hot? My foot when it's in your ass."
"I have a prank, too, one where my foot doesn't go in your ass...
Let's hope it doesn't go terribly wrong."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Fruits
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Tweaked off
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Multi Tasking
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Rodeo
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Thats Him
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a third grader named Little Johnny. Every time the
teacher would say something, Little Johnny would say, "How about
that!"
One day, the teacher said, "And then George Washington crossed the
Delaware."
Little Johnny said, "How about that!"
The teacher told Little Johnny, "If you say that one more time, you
are
going out into the hall, mister!"
To that, Little Johnny replied, "Well, how about that!"
Taking him by the arm, the teacher marched Little Johnny into the
hall
and said, "While you're out here, I want you to write a poem to tell
the class."
Twenty minutes later, the teacher came out to get Little Johnny and
said, "Before we go back in, I want to hear your poem."
Little Johnny said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a cockroach go up
the wall. How about that!"
The teacher said, "That's fine, Little Johnny, but I want you to
leave
the cock out."
She took him back into the classroom and announced that Little
Johnny
had a poem for the class.
Little Johnny stood up and said, "As I stood in the hall, I saw a
roach go up the wall with his cock out. How about that!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Card Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill had been sick for quite a while with a sore throat and a cough.
Her doctor had told her that she could infect John, so there was to
be NO intimate contact between them until she was well. That was why
they had played cards every night for a couple of weeks. When she
finally got a clean bill of health from her doctor, Jill was
delighted.
That evening at home, she was in the bathroom when she heard John
call, "Should I get the cards, Jill?"
"Yeah!" shouted Jill. "I'll be right out."
In a few minutes, John shouted, "I can't find the cards, Jill."
"That's okay, John," said Jill, as she walked out of the bathroom in
a bikini made from playing cards. "Wanna shuffle, John?" she asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Obscene Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether
the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity.
The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to
the club and see the allegedly obscene act.
The judge and the jury watched the act once, focusing on the part
where a sexy couple performed the "Dance of Love" with a climactic
scene of lovemaking on a bearskin rug. The jury was unable to decide
definitely whether it was obscene or not. So the jury members asked
to see the act one more time. They watched it carefully again. But
they still couldn't reach a decision. So this time they asked the
understudies to perform the same act one more time.
Fortunately, the police involved in the case were very
understanding.
According to the Detective: "It is a difficult matter. The police
have watched the show 75 times."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny goes into a house of ill repute and asks for a girl
with gonorrhea.
The madam nodded and sent him upstairs to a room. Then she called
one
of her favorites for him. The girl came into the room and started to
undress, when he asked, "Do you have gonorrhea?"
"Gonorrhea? I should say not," she replied.
Little Johnny sent her back. The madam sent for another girl and
said, "Honey, go upstairs and tell that fool you have the clap.
Let's
do what we can to make him happy."
The girl agreed, went upstairs and when Little Johnny asked, "Do you
have gonorrhea?" she smiled and said, "Of course I do."
"Ok," he said, "Let's do it."
After it was over and they were laying side by side the girl said,
"Listen Johnny, I don't really have gonorrhea"
Little Johnny smiled and said, "Well, you do now."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
E-Books and Health solutions you may find useful
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vibrator Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this couple that had been married for
20 years. Every time they made love the husband
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session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down. And saw her husband was holding
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She went completely ballistic. "You impotent
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lying to me all of these years? You better
explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and
says calmly: "I'll explain the toy; you explain
the kids."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/ A River Runs Through It
http://silverandgol
John w/ How Great Thou Art
http://heavens-
Lure Of Pornography Part 1
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How To Become A Christian
http://www.reflecti
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Movie Clips
leno police
http://www.buffalos
Love that chair_
http://www.buffalos
love hurts
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maninline1
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Monthly Man
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Use Download Instead of player
leno photo booth
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Lucky Tree
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rounds
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marry me
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robbery Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman walked into a liquor store with
two guns, pointed them at the shop-keeper and
said "Give me six bottles of scotch whiskey, all
the money in the till, and then I want you to
take me into your storeroom and make love to me."
The shopkeeper got her the six bottles of scotch,
emptied the money from the till into the old
woman's handbag, and then went with her into the
storeroom, they took off all their clothes, and
made love.
In the excitement the old lady dropped the guns
on the floor. The shop-keeper paused a moment,
then said, "Madam, could you please pick up your
guns again, I'm expecting my wife to arrive any
minute."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let Me Explain..
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Honeymoon
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Addidas Sign
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humpty Dumpty stood on the street corner
Touting for business with little Jack Horner
Along came Miss Muffet with only a dime
"What can I get if I tell you a rhyme?"
Little Jack Horner said, "Sorry Miss Muffet
We do not do ladies, we're not keen on tuffet.
But if you can find us poor Little Bo-Peep,
We can all have a foursome including her sheep."
I chase all the girls when I'm spunky--
A five-day-a-week sexual junky.
I tend not to stray
On Tues- or Wednesday--
On those nights I spank my own monkey.
Karl K.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoshi Blade - Razor Sharp Ceramic Knife
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Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.
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http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gun Control
Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East
Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence,
he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding
the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my
hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'
Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced
the quiet and said: "Well, dumbass, stop clapping!"
Linus
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to
purchase furs.
The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Sanna,
and
before long the two were alone in his hotel room.
The encounter turned physical and soon their lovemaking session was
complete.
After they were finished, then the man attempted to chat with Sanna
-- but it wasn't going well.
He said, "I'm afraid my Finnish isn't too good."
Sanna replied, "Your foreplay ain't all that hot either!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1557
Wine and Dine
Tami: Forget the desert, I will order a glass of wine. I really
need it.
Waiter: Good idea. Red or white wine?
Tami: Red.
Waiter: Dry or sweet?
Tami: Sweet.
Waiter: Domestic or imported?
Tami: Ack!!! Just bring me a glass in a hurry I am shaking.
Waiter: Do we have a drinking problem?
Tami notices her psychologist is really taking notes...
Tami: No, we do not.
Waiter: Why do you use the word 'we' when there is only one of you?
Tami: Just bring me a glass of wine and hurry. In fact, bring the
whole
bottle.
Waiter: Very well ma'am.
Later..
Tami: Waiter.can I hab the bill pleash?
Waiter: Your bill ma'am.
Tami: What? I wash supposed to hab fifty percent off?
Waiter: Read the small print on the coupon, fifty percent off for
Rob.
Tami: Even which my grilled cheebe sandwhicb freeb, the billb is 95
dillirs.
Waiter: Yes ma'am. Will that be cash, or credit card?
Tami: Credit Card.
Waiter: Discover, Visa, or Master Card?
Tami: Here take this one and just get me out of here.
Waiter: This is a Texaco Credit Card ma'am.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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