Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Tuesday was a busy day. After finally getting to bed at 0700
I woke up at noon thinking it was Saturday and half of the places
I had to go were closed. By the time I got to the living room
reality kicked in and I slowed down to enjoy the day which was
in the fifties but a little overcast. After hitting the Credit Union
I headed over to the smoke shop and spent 175.00 on tobacco
and tubes which will be worth almost 500.00 on April 1st. I intend
to
make one more run before the end of the month, I wish other family
members would quit for everyone's health but if they can't I intend
to keep it a little less costly.
I then made a trip to the pharmacy for a couple of scripts and hit
the local supermarket for Swiss cheese and rye and pumpernickel
bread because it is Reuben sandwich time from the leftover corned
beef. I was wishing everyone a Happy St. Patrick's Day today which
could be considered non-PC but either everyone who waited on me
had a wee bit of Irish blood or they are not under corporate
pressure
regarding this holiday. I had a long list for the store involving
produce
for a batch of Chinese Cabbage but the store is going through
expansion and I missed the Veggie area completely. I returned home
with my list and convinced Sandy it was a good day to go out and
look
for stuff for Eva's birthday which is getting close and Buffy and
Eva
were at a party anyhow. So while Sandy hit two stores I went to
Joann's
fabrics and bought glue-on eyes and fabric glue and then went to
fuel the Jimmy. Admiral has decided to use the pay before you pump
plan now so I decided to go to Holiday instead. I got on a pump that
was so slow, it took me over ten minutes to pump 15 gallons of gas.
When I paid I asked about the pump and I was told that a couple of
them were slow like that. I guess it hasn't crossed their mind to
fix them
yet.
I picked Sandy up and we hit Save-a-lot which may not have as large
a selection but it is user friendly and a lot cheaper. We had our
list
done in ten minutes and headed for home. I took the eyes and glued
them to a pair of socks for Eva, You would have to watch the kid's
show
Oobi to understand the purpose and I gave them to her when they
got here for Corned Beef and Cabbage. Eva liked her puppets and
Buffy had a huge batch of helium balloons, enough to launch a good
size cat into the stratosphere, and Sandy and Buffy were sucking up
helium and singing Irish songs.
It was an interesting day.... Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Hunting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Saturday morning a deer hunter gets up early, dresses
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Italian cab driver was telling a passenger that only real men
drive taxis in Rome.
"We use our left hand for signals and our right hand to wave at
women," he proclaimed.
The tourist asked, "But how do you steer?"
"I just told you," the cabbie replied, "that only *real* men drive
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When my neighbor proudly told me he was surprising his new wife with
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Two college coeds were having a beer. One said to the other, "Mandy
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I said, "So do I. Could I call ya back in an hour or so?"
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Founder Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
His girl's proud father was leading a young suitor through the
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members of the clan, the young man was finally shown the picture of
a
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"This," said the father proudly, "is the founder of the family."
"What did he do?" asked the young man.
"He founded the family," the older man said again.
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill and Doug were having a drink at the bar and Bill says, "I found
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Nina: (while eyeballing a Chippendale dancer) "Don't you sometimes
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When the well-molded secretary entered her boss' office one morning,
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I'd rather not," she remarked. "That's my lunch hour."
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gnome is riding a bus when a brunette steps on him. The first
time this happens, he decides not to say anything because it's
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on him, so he turns to her and says, "Hey you blondie, watch
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A gang-member was holding his 8-month-old baby while his wife was in
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Tooth Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Linda fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks, and
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Movie Clips
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My First Rescue
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Never Underestimate An Old Girl
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Surgery Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man wakes up in hospital after a harrowing operation. The
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"What's the bad news?"
"They're under your pillow".
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a young holy roller,
Had a boy friend attempt to console her.
She'd gone down on his cock,
That was hard as a rock...
Chipped a tooth, plus she knocked out a molar.
____________
The Aardvark eats no leafy plants
No mushrooms and no succulents
Under bark his tongue
Gets vitamins among
A diet full of new tree ants
(Guy Ben-Moshe)
____________
There once was a vampire called Mabel
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One weekend in four
She'd sit on the floor
And drink herself under the table.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Older brother, Joe, was giving advice to his younger brother, Kevin,
on how
to have sex with a girl. Joe didn't know how to explain it him with
out
being too graphic. So he told him in terms of money because Joe
knew money.
So in terms of directions Joe told Kevin you want to look at a
girl's crotch
like money. The top is a quarter, the left is a nickel, the right
is a
dollar, and the bottom is a dime. So Kevin goes and thinks about
this.
Kevin and his girlfriend finally decide to have sex, so he uses the
advice
his brother gave him. He starts out real slow going "quarter....
nickel....,dime.
saying
it in his mind faster "quarter..,nickel.
even
faster saying "quarter,nickel,
nearing
orgasm and he starting screaming out loud "Buck forty, Buck forty."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the girls just walked into my office and began looking
at the pictures of my children.
"These are all of them when they were young," she said. "Why
don't you get some recent pictures of them?"
"Because," I said, "I use these pictures to remind me of when
they were little and sweet. That way, when I go home I don't
kill the little bastards."
Patricia
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1255
Spring Has Sprung
Sandi: Where is my Rudy?
Katie: I haven't seen him in some time. I have been busy myself.
Sandi: Doing what? All I see you do is run back and forth.
Katie: Well that is doing something.
Sandi: You are just spinning your wheels. I guess I will head down
to the creek bed and see if I can find my old man down there.
Later..
Sandi tops the hill and finds her Rudy... he is sprawled out on the
grass. Butterflies are flying around him and he is chewing on a
blade
of grass.
Sandi: Well you sure looked relaxed.
Rudy: I am indeed. Feel the breeze? I am just soaking in the sun.
It is great to be alive and well. Spring is the time for new growth,
to
feel alive. I am down here just thinking about the coming year,
about
life in general.
Sandi: Oh, I married a serious thinker.
Rudy: No, just a dog that appreciates the day.
Sandi: Do you have room for another dog to lay beside you?
Rudy: There is always room for my Sandi.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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