THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Happiness Is What You Are Happiness is not a destination, it's a journey. Happiness is not tomorrow, it is now. Happiness is not a dependency, it is a decision. Happiness is what you are, not what you have. Sani-Hands for Kids Samples Instant Hand-Sanitizing Wipes Keeping your young ones clean & germ free is easy with SANI-HANDS! Conveniently remove light soils and dirt from hands after being public places - Simply pop the top on the SANI HANDS for Kids canister and get rid of illness causing bacteria instantly. Keep your kids from getting sick when they can't wash their hands. Clinically proven to kill 99.9% of most common germs, use SANI HANDS to keep your entire family happy, healthy & utterly germ-free! http://www.tinyurl.com/cu2qtj Share your unique opinion and get paid for it! Product Developers are willing to pay reviewers between $5 and $75 per completed survey. - Review Products - Take simple online surveys - Keep the products you review - Get paid for your opinion! JOIN NOW Free Membership http://www.tinyurl.com/38qzrs Join the Secret Shoppers Program and Shop for FREE By joining the Secret Shoppers Online Program, you get to shop for FREE. Receive $500 to spend any way you want at any of your favorite stylish stores. http://www.tinyurl.com/ce6h5x GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! One thing that has always been a tough prospect is opening jars. When I had a little more strength in my wrists the war department would bring them over to me and say, "Hon, wouldja?" That was all fine and dandy back then. But things change. These days its getting difficult for me to open them too. Thats why she and I invested in The One Touch Jar Opener. It is the fast, easy way to open jars. Cool thing is, you JUST TOUCH AND GO! It will open jars in seconds. No tapping. No twisting. No mess. Even the toughest seal is NO MATCH for One Touch! IT'S SO EASY, ANYONE CAN USE IT! Simply press and hold to start the cycle in order to automatically open the jar lid. - Opens any size jar with ease - Prevents dangerous, messy spills - Saves lots of counter space - Great for people with arthritis Get yours today and a free gift! Recommended by the postman! http://www.tinyurl.com/c6oas6 We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS have you seen my teeth http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v021.html I'm not waiting http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v022.html canine counselors http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v024.html steroids and tongues http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v025.html spread eagle http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v026.html where's my bucket http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v027.html I like mornings http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v028.html LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Bill Connolly-colonoscopies http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5178.html condoms-wav file http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5179.html pay attention http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5180.html bad to do while driving http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5181.html my pussy cat-wav file http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5182.html not in this weather http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5183.html why Arabs should not ride motorcycles http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5184.html choose your entertainment wisely http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5185.html INTERESTING STUFF ballad of Timothy Gaitnet http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2223.html POWER POINT DISPLAY optical illusion http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2227.html midlife crisis http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp2229.html COOL PICS Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos. He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, 'It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold' Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, 'What do you have in it?' He says, 'Soup, and ice cream!' ______________ A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, 'I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin.' The husband replies, 'That's no big thing in this day and age.' The wife continues, 'Yeah, I've been with one guy.' 'Oh yeah? Who was the guy?' 'Tiger Woods..' 'Tiger Woods, the golfer?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.' The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. 'What are you doing?' asks the wife. The husband says, 'I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat.' 'Tiger wouldn't do that.' 'Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?' 'He'd come back to bed and do it a second time.' The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. 'Now what are you doing?' she asks. The husband says, 'I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat.' 'Tiger wouldn't do that.' 'Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?' He'd come back to bed and do it again.' The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, 'Are you calling room service?' 'No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole.' ________________ Q: Why do men have assholes? A: So they won't be total pricks. Q: Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs? A: So you can tell them apart from feminists. Q: Why don't men trust women? A: Would you trust anything that bled for three days and didn't die? Q. What's the definition of Trust? A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob. __________________ One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, "who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?" The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows. Finally, Little Johnny sticks up his hand. The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for foul language and sexual inuendo, looks for another student to ask. Finally when no one else raises their hand, she says, "yes, Johnny?" "Miss Figpot, it's means lovely." Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?" "Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mom say, 'that's lovely'. Dad replied to her, 'Yep, it's in different. _______________ Two guys are drinking in a bar. One says, 'Did you know that a moose has sex 10 to 15 times a night?' 'Ah shit,' says his friend, 'and I just joined the AMERICAN LEGION! _______________ Tom was in Las Vegas gambling and having a run of bad luck. He lost all his money and was now waiting for his bank to wire him some more. He was on his way up to his hotel room when he meets a beautiful hooker in the elevator. He is smitten with her and tells her that he wants to make love to her right now. The hooker says, "Honey, if you got the cash, we can make your wish come true." Tom realizes he doesn't have any money on him yet and tells the hooker that he will have the money in about an hour or so. The hooker says, "No money, no lovin'" Tom pleads with her but the hooker does not give in. She tells him that when he gets the money she will be more than happy to oblige him, but she actually does find Tom attractive so she reaches over to his pants, unzips his fly, takes his penis in her hand and then proceeds to write on it the following - Gloria 357-6262, when you have $$$. Tom returns to his room and a couple of hours later, the money from his bank finally arrives. He immediately rushes to the phone to call his "dream woman". He unzips his pants so he can retrieve the number off his penis, but alas his erection was gone and in order to read the number he starts rubbing his penis frantically. At that very moment, the maid entered his room to clean and shrieked at this sight. Tom says to the maid, "Don't worry, I'm just trying to make a phone call." ____________ PAPA Thorn Say "CHEESE!" http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=WhyBother.jpg Aliens' favorite cereal http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=ad-giger-nuts.jpg Total agreement http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=agreement.jpg SYDESJOKES LIST Burger Grease Art http://www.sydesjokes.com/extra/link000019.html BUFFALO Bill Mrs Hughes http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrre.htm FUN AGES from Lorraine Stunt Bike Deluxe http://tinyurl.com/c37cz2 Bricks of Atlantis http://tinyurl.com/crfvzf Farm Frenzy Game http://tinyurl.com/cn3den THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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