Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was sleeping so good this morning about 1000 and the power went
off. This nice weather and with the snow packed hard around the
sub-stations the squirrels probably were playing on the
insulators again which causes a ground fault, a blown fuse and
sometimes damaged insulators. It took them about an hour to get
everything running again and it took me 18 minutes to wake up
after the power came back on. Buffy called shortly after and said
Eva had the flu and was puking and needed some 7-up so I got up and
ran to the store and picked up soda and Jell-O in the little cups
and dropped it off at Buffy's on the doorstep. My thought was I
didn't need the flu when I am supposed to go in today for an
ultrasound that took me 3 weeks to schedule. It is bad enough that
the moment you hear someone mention flu you start feeling like crap
without inviting the whole experience. A few hours later Eva was
back to her normal self and I am wondering if maybe
something they ate yesterday disagreed with them.
I will keep this short and see if I can get some sleep tonight
because I am not allowed to eat or drink 12 hours before my
appointment so sleep is about all I have left. Enjoy the chips....
buffalo
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was in the Navy, women were assigned to the WAVES. When we
finally got our first leave after three months, our Captain told the
WAVE Captain that she'd better keep her girls under lock and key.
The WAVE Captain, tapping her temple, replie, "Don't worry, Sir. My
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Two rather drunk gentlemen stood at the bar near closing time. "I've
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Jerry is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
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"I'm ok but I didn't like the four-letter-
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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One night stand
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two businessmen were out at their private golf club enjoying a
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The two men watched as the ladies hit their shots, carried on
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round was slowed to a snail's pace.
Finally one of the men said, "I'm going to drive up to those ladies,
give them a piece of my mind and tell them they better let us play
through or else!"
As his companion watched, the first man drove up the cartpath got
about half the way to the ladies, abrubptly turned around and
returned to the tee.
The second golfer asked, "What did they say?"
The first said, "I couldn't say anything. As I got closer I realized
that one of the ladies is my wife and the other is my mistress."
"That's OK, I'll go talk to them," replied the second man as he
jumped into the cart and headed toward the women.
Suddenly he too made a U-turn and headed back to his playing
partner.
As he approached the tee he said, "It's a small world isn't it!"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
According to a new survey, 76 percent of men said what they look for
most in a woman is a sense of humor and a good personality.
This was a survey published in "Full Of Shit Magazine."
A man walks into a brothel and approaches a beautiful Oriental
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Huge 300lbs. woman walks in to a tatoo shop and asks the artist:
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Man: "Sure I think I can do that just come on back and have a
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A couple hours later the man gets finished up and shows the woman
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Mike Tyson and this sure as hell doesn't look like Mohammed Ali."
The man sits and thinks for a second and says to himself, "man I
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He tells the woman "ok here's the deal, you go out side and the
first person you see I want you to ask them if that tattoo looks
like Tyson and if that one looks like Ali."
So the woman agrees and walks outside to this drunk man walking
down
the street, she approaches the man pulls up her skirt and asks
him:
Woman: "Sir does this look anything like Iron Mike Tyson to you?"
Drunk: Takes a drink of his wine and says (in a drunk voice) "naw
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Woman: Well ok now, "does this look anything like Mohammed Ali to
you?"
Drunk: Taking another sip says nope that sure don't but you see that
one in the middle that looks just like Don King..
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War Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the end of the Finnish war, a young female reporter from a
British newspaper was sent to Finland to write an article about the
soldiers homecoming. She had interviewed half a dozen, when she met
Pekka on the street.
"Excuse me," she said, "were you in the war?"
"Yah, I was in the infantry."
"Would you mind answering a few questions for a newspaper article?"
"Nej, I wouldn't mind at all."
"When you came home, when the war was over, what was the first thing
you did?"
"I fucked my wife," Pekka said bluntly.
The journalist went crimson, and tried desperately to change the
subject.
"After that, I mean. What did you do after that?"
"I fucked her again," he answered.
The journalist turned an even darker shade of red. "Other than that!
Uh - what did you do when you were finished with all that?"
"Then I took off my skis, my heavy backpack and ate."
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Shorts Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judi was walking past a shop in the mall. In the window of
the shop is a sign that says, "Good Home Wanted For
Clit Licking Frog."
*Immediately* intrigued, she walks into the store. She goes right up
to the guy behind the counter. "I've come about the clit licking
frog."
"Oui, Madame?"
80 year old Bessie Reingold bursts into the rec room
of the men's retirement home.
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces,
"Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can
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An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out,
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Bessie thinks a minute and says,
"Close enough"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I Should Have Known
http://www.silveran
John w/ From The Manger To The Cross
http://heavens-
NATASHA RICHARDSON DIES AT 45 AFTER SKI ACCIDENT
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Cluster Ballooning via Wesley
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Movie Clips
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mitzvah Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A very good and pious Jew, Samuel Goldberg, man dies and immediately
goes to heaven. The angel at the gate greets him and tells him that
he
can't admit him to heaven.
When Mr. Goldberg asks why, the angel replies, "Well, this is a
little
embarrassing. You see, as I look at your record, for all intents and
purposes, you have no sins. All I can see looking at page after page
is mitzvah after mitzvah. You have been an exceptional person your
whole life, you married a decent woman, your children turned out to
be
respected members of the community, you've always paid your debts on
time... nothing but mitzvahs.
Now, other than God, only the angels have no sins. I obviously can't
send you to hell, but I can't admit you to heaven because you're a
human being and human beings commit sins."
The angel thought for a moment and then said, I'll tell you what I'm
going to do. I'm going to send you back to Earth for 24 hours.
During
that time all you have to do is commit one sin. It doesn't have to
anything drastic, just something that will go on your record as a
sin."
The next thing he knows, Mr. Goldberg is standing on the street in
front of his home. Approaching him on the street, he notices Mrs.
Ludinsky, a 79 year old widow carrying two large bags of groceries
with great difficulty. True to his nature, Mr. Goldberg offers to
help
her carry the groceries home. Then, remembering that he must commit
a
sin in order to be admitted to heaven, he grabs Mrs. Ludinsky, the
groceries go flying in every direction, and drags her up the stairs
to
his bedroom. Once inside he proceeds to commit every kind of sexual
debauchery he can think of.
Several hours later, exhausted, he begins to put his clothes back
on.
Sitting up in bed, Mrs. Ludinsky says, "Oy, Mr. Goldberg, you have
no
idea what a mitzvah you've just done!"
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pasta treats
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Planters http://able2laugh.
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mike Phelps joined a cult and he might
Start worshiping with them tonight
They smoke while they pray
He heard their priest say
Their mantra, "Two bongs make a rite"
(Gary Hallock)
Breathed a tender young man from Australia,
My darling, please let me unveilia.
And then, of, my own,
If you'll kindly lie prone;
I'll endeavor, my sweet, to impalia.
* * * *
A lubricious young woman named Gwen
Had never learned how to say "when!"
So she did it again
And again and again
And again and again and again.
Karl K.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses
that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of
auto insurance.
"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be much
lower."
My brother smiled and said, "Dad, that would be like buying an
airline just to get free peanuts."
Karl K
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with
murdering a school teacher with a chain saw." From out in the
audience
a man shouts, "You lying bastard!" "Silence in the court!", the
Judge
shouted back to the man, all the while banging his gavel. He turns
to
the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a
paperboy with a shovel." "You damned tightwad!" blurted the
spectator
again. "Quiet!", yelled the judge after a few more bangs of his
gavel
and then continues, "You are also charged with killing a mailman
with
an electric drill." "You cheap son of a..." the man starts to shout
when the Judge thunders back, "If you don't tell me reason for your
outbursts right now, I will hold in contempt!" So the man answers,
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think he ever had any tools when I needed to borrow one!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1546
St Paddy's Day
I usually let the dogs out about 30 minutes before I go to bed so
they can do their business and then we can all go to bed and get our
sleep. Well last night,,St. Patrick's Day..off they went. Time to
go to bed... Nobody in sight...I go to bed.
1 am nothing
2 am nothing
3 am nothing
3:30 The doorbell rings, there is hooting and shouting outside.
I stumble to the door and open it...
In dashes Katie with green beads around her neck, walking none to
steady.
Behind her is Rudy with clovers painted on his white body and a
Leprechaun hat on and his breath is like that of a dragon.
Behind him is Sandi...she is trying to do the Irish Jig and is
carrying a glass of green beer.
BJ: Where have you been?
Giggles....
Rudy: We have been partying with Horace and Gus celebrating Saint
Patrick's Day.
Katie: Do be sure we have.
Sandi: Giggle...
BJ: I think it is time you went to bed.
The three dogs get in a small circle and start to sing 'Sweet
Kathleen'
Diana: What is going on downstairs?
BJ: The dogs are a bit tipsy.
Rudy runs upstairs and hugs Diana and belchs in her face causing her
hair almost to melt.
Diana: Good grief Rudy! What have you been drinking?
Rudy: Coffee...Irish coffee.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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